…Of The Day

by

    jessica-alba-bikini-2-011.jpg
  • SIMPER: Does John Mayer + Jessica Simpson = Simper? Nah… it equals boring. (NY Daily News)
  • NEWSWORTHY ITEM: Does Jessica Alba playing football in a bikini qualify as newsworthy? Probably not. But it definitely qualifies as awesome. (Egotastic)
  • RULING CLASS: Kids today are all about websites with no rules. I’m using this as Argument #1 to allow us to get rid of the stupid ** in our f**ks. (NY Times)
  • REACTIONS: Steve Martin and the guy from Wings share their thoughts on Saddam. Me- I’m not ready yet. I’m still getting over Uday and Qusay. (HuffPo)
  • TAKE THAT: Queen beat out The Beatles in a “Greatest Brit Band” poll. They’re the champions, indeed. (Stereogum)

Paul F. Tompkins: Live, On Stage, and Awesome

by

paulf.jpgYou’ve seen Paul F. Tompkins on Best Week Ever. You’ve seen him in Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, Mr. Show, and– if you’re real good– Run Ronnie Run. Well, now’s your chance to see him live. If you’re in New York, of course (our apologies to everybody in the other 49 states.) Paul will be performing at Comix Thursday, Friday and Saturday this week, so if you want to start ’07 off on the right foot, go buy tickets now.

You can pick up tickets here. We’ll see you at the show.

LISTEN UP: Goodbye, Jimmy Brown

by

jimmybrown.jpg

  • Stereogum has the super-secret lowdown on where to find a radio rip of the new Modest Mouse track that’s leaked to the music blogs. My mom would have no idea what that last sentence meant.
  • MOKB has posted the final two tracks from Bishop Allen’s year-long “one EP a month” experiment whose results continue to be amazing.
  • There a remix of Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around” (which may or may not be about a certain pantiless pop singer) over at 24:hours.
  • James Brown may be gone, but he is not forgotten over at Soul Sides. Say it loud!
  • Fluxblog has a live track from The New Pornographers, and some excellent things to say about Children of Men, which this blogger happens to think is the best film of the year.

QUIZ: The Year In Sex

by

sex.jpg

If you’re a celebrity, chances are you spent 2006 either denying the existence of your sex tape, flashing your naughty bits to paparazzi or giving birth to an oddly named child. If you’re a politician, you either launched an offensive smear campaign or resigned in a fog of scandal. And if you’re neither, you had a whole lot to read about.

And so begins Nerve.com’s Year In Sex quiz. If you’re a loyal BWE.tv reader you should do well. If you’re a pervert, you should do better. And if you’re both… well, you’ll be more unstoppable than Paris & Britney after a long night of Red Bull and Cocaine (the energy drink.) Good luck!

ICYMI: Impossible Is the Opposite of Possible

by

Our blogger friend Brian Palmer points us to this hilarious parody video from BWE.tv favorite Michael Cera (better known as George Michael Bluth). While a little “inside jokey” (if you don’t follow Gawker’s relentless coverage, you probably don’t get it), this satirizing of Internet Legend Alexsey Vayner’s “video resume” captures all the rich nuance and texture of his world class douchiness. For comparative purposes, Aleksey’s original video can be found after the jump.

Read more…

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Hollywood For the Holidays

by

museumnight.jpg1. You know, as much as you love your family, spending an entire week with them during the holidays can get a little annoying from time to time. Thank goodness there’s the gentle escape of the movies, where you can enjoy two relaxing hours of Robin Williams’ kooky voices, Ben Stiller’s hilarious pratfalls, and Owen Wilson’s awkward charm – $46.8 million

2. I really don’t know why the writers couldn’t get the spelling right on this one. Sappy is spelled with an “S”, not an “H” – $24.7 million

3. Looks like this movie was one fat suit (they already had Eddie Murphy, mind you) away from a #1 opening – $19.5 million

4. You know what’s even weirder than a giant talking spider writing sh*t about a pig in its web? Dakota Fanning$15.5 million

5. The Boring Supremacy$14.3 million

While You Were Peeling Yourself Off Your Sheets Like a Hungover Human Fruit Roll-Up…

by

Minillio.JPG

  • We know you know, but seeing as we saw his corpse last Thursday and have been haunted ever since, we’re gonna tell you again: James Brown died. Little known fact: The man was incredibly tiny. Baby sized. No wonder he moved so well.
  • Reason #458 You Wish You Had Gone to Space Camp: William Shatner emcees reunion dinners. It should be noted, the odds that William Shatner will emcee your sons Bar Mitzvah for the right price has just skyrocketed.
  • We are a million percent thankful that we didn’t spend New Year’s Day trying to solve the answer to this quandry: Can Beyonce act? The answer: For a maternally controlled cyborg, very well.
  • Vanessa Minillo and Nick Lachey ring in the New Year with a public eff-you-ing of Jessica Simpson.
  • But fear not!! Jessica Simpson was busy throwing attention tantrums in New York, the reward being getting manhandled by “Hand 2 God We’re Not Dating” frontman John Mayer.

Happy F**king New Year MTV!!!

by

Vanessa Mannillo rang in the New Year the same exact way as so many other people from coast to coast– with a really bad f**k. Unfortunately for Vanessa, her’s was live on TV (and unfortunately for us, it was an adjective and not a verb.) You can watch Vanessa’s f**k video here.

I really hope that’s not the last time I ever type that.

Link via Gorillamask