A Sad Day for The Jews

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BRITNEYSHMEARS.JPGTwo bits of info out today have us convinced that today, January 30, 2007, is a bad day for the Jews.

First off, we can’t bring ourselves to shell out 40 corporate bucks a month for a Paris Exposed account (probably because I myself am a Jew), but luckily it seems most of the info is being leaked through other sources. And while smoking a tampon is Hilarie Clinton (as well as Dangerousell Crowe), my ancestral heritage is more offended by this nugget discovered in the secret stash. On a trip to Amsterdam, Paris Hilton took the time to visit Anne Frank‘s attic. Right after learning how to use mushrooms, and before enrolling (so to speak) in Cannabis College. The idea of that girl’s race-hating ass-goiter trolling around in Anne Frank’s house makes us sick — my great-grandparents are rolling over in their mass-graves, for real. But I’ll tell myself that Paris is just a big fan of Bridget Jones’ Diary and wanted to pay her respects.

In other news, X17 caught Britney Spears sporting a Mr. T worthy Star of David round her neck, along with a tres shtetle hair color. Could this be the influence of boyfriend Isaac Cohen? And more importantly, will she change her name to Britney Shmears?

The BWE.tv Bloggers: Social Lepers Who Are Too Socially Awkward For VH1

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Oh, hey VH1… what’s up?

teambwe2.JPGSo listen, we really don’t want to make things weird. It’s just that today, while we surfing the internet looking for more pictures of Paris Hilton’s rack and Cisco Adler’s ballz we stumbled upon a post over at Jossip about a new VH1 show… about bloggers. In the post, Jossip mentions

“Last month, VH1 fired off invitations to audition to what seemed like anyone who had put their fingers on a keyboard and launched a blog mildly related to entertainment. Blogs including Just Jared, Hollywood Tuna, and even our own MollyGood and Jossip were pitched for the series.”

Um… so yeah… VH1… we’re just wondering… why didn’t you ask us? I mean, you held auditions in New York and, well, you know we work here… right? In fact, we’re probably in the same building. Hell, I bet we’re on the same floor. Surely we could’ve taken a couple of minutes out of our busy day of watching The View and All My Children to swing by the audition room and “hang out” for a little while. It really wouldn’t have been that big of a problem. And if it was “forced snark and humor” you were looking for… um, HELLO, have you ever read this site? We love snark more than Isaiah Washington hates gay people. Did you happen to noticed how forced that was? Forced snark, baby! That’s what we do!

Anyway, I guess it’s cool that you’re just not that into us. Whatever. We’re already over it. Good luck with HushHush or whatever you’re calling your stupid blogger show. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a 5 o’clock meeting with some people over at E! that we probably shouldn’t miss.

ICYMI: F%@k Club

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What if Fight Club was actually a gay bar run by Brad Pitt named F%@k Club? Well, the movie would probably be 5% gayer than it already is. But check out this parody anyway- It’s definitely the best gay movie trailer mash-up since The Great Brokeback Mountain Mash-Up Trend of ’06. Ahh, the good ol’ days. (Audio NSFW!)

Link via Gorillamask

LISTEN UP: Tied To The 90′s

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  • You heard it here first: The 90′s are coming back in 2007. Why else would Speed of Dark have a bunch of Better Than Ezra tracks today? Come on, give me one good reason.
  • Recidivism has so many tracks posted today– everything from The Rolling Stones to Soul Asylum to The Ponys– that I don’t even know where to begin.
  • Fluxblog attended the Peter, Bjorn and John show last night at Mercury Lounge and has an mp3 of “Paris 2004″ to prove it.
  • FreeIndie has a handful of great Thermals tracks today. Like there’s any other kind.
  • And finally, head over to Chicago Soundcheck to grab a couple of Albert Hammond Jr. tracks… and more importantly, to see a ridiculous photo of Albert in a sombrero.

Sienna Miller Attends Premiere, Forgets Pants

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We’re not one to judge a fashion faux pas. After all, we were voted “Most Likely to Wear Hypercolor in 2007″ in our high school yearbooks, and guess what? Yup.

But we do have a littttle bit of a problem with Sienna Miller‘s outfit at the Factory Girl New York Premiere AfterParty… because she is basically wearing control top pantyhose and Grandma underpants, aka “Spandex Vag-Length Shorts”. Example:

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The only nice thing we can think of saying? Dance: 10, Looks: 3.

SIZZLER: The Couple That Tries To Stop Doing Heroin Together, Stays Together

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katepeterehab.JPGForget Hyde, Les Deux or any of the other so-called Hollywood “hot spots”. Rehab is where the party’s at these days and, never ones to miss a good time, Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have checked back into recovery, this time doing so TOGETHER. Excuse me for a moment while I try to cope with this cuteness overload and cool my heart down enough to even write this. If there’s ever been a Love Story worthy of the pen of Shakespeare, it is undoubtedly this tale of two starcrossed junk addicts who, despite not really doing much with their lives other than having unflattering pictures taken of themselves while high, remain so steadfastly committed to each other’s self-destructive struggles. This is what happens when you watch Sid & Nancy a few too many times, kids!

The Office: Really, Really Satisfying Preview

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We want to kick this post off by congratulating the cast of The Office on their SAG Award for Best Comedy Ensemble — An award notable for two reason: 1. It’s the most deserved (no offense Ugly Betty, but also maybe, a little offense.) and 2. Stanley is really psyched about it!

stanley123.JPGTV Addict scored a healthy preview clip from this week’s brand new episode of The Office entitled “Ben Franklin.” Leading to the really important question: Is that Jan‘s bra?? And apparently it didn’t take long for Dwight to become Michael‘s bitch again, almost literally.

For those of you who miss Andy Bernard, we’ve got a special hilarity nugget waiting for you after the jump. It’s more Andy then anyone can handle, and a must-see for Office fans.

Read more…

ICYMI: Regis and Kelly Discuss “Tea-Bagging”

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When Prison Break star Robert Knepper showed up on Live With Regis and Kelly and tried to share an anecdote about where his character got the nickname “T-Bag”, what could have been a very awkward/awesome conversation was abruply cut short by a clearly uncomfortable Kelly Ripa, who threw to the commercial break only moments before she undoubtedly would have been forced to recount a harrowing experience from her early days in showbiz.