SIZZLER: Paris & Nicole Together Again

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hilton_richie.jpgAccording to TMZ.com, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have FINALLY put their feud to rest. The pair put their differences behind them and reunited, leaving many Americans wondering which public feud they’ll start paying attention to next. Right now the two big frontrunners are Paris Vs. Shanna Moakler, and North Korea Vs. The World. It really could go either way.

But why did Paris and Nicole end their feud now? Perhaps the secret lies in that tiny bag of a green, leafy substance that was spotted in Paris’ purse. We’re not sure what it is– green tea? oregano? bird food?– but whatever it is, maybe it contains a magic secret ingredient that calmed Paris down enough to realize “Hey man, life is too short to have enemies. Maybe I should let bygones be bygones and just be cool… yeah. Hey, is anybody else starving? Let’s go to Taco Bell”

To see a CU of the bag click below. Or meet me by the fountain in Washington Square Park in an hour.
Read more…

ICYMI: The Moustache Behind the Voice

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You’ve seen him before, recently co-starring in a clever little Geico commercial that was sadly overshadowed by Little Richard‘s insanity. But voiceover artist Don LaFontaine is more hilarious/influential than he’s ever given credit for — the guy wrote the famous opening lines “In a world”, for God’s sake. Check out this ABC interview with the orbishly handsome vocal maestro, and discover the power behind the voice. We would easily pay $10 to see I’d Like a Can of Peas, Please, and we have a feeling Miramax is already on it.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Dearly Departed

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thedeparted.jpg1. Hey, now that Heavyhands Hackis has his shiny new Oscars for subtly illuminating the complexities of contemporary urban race relations in Crash, maybe you geniuses in the Academy might want to think about throwing one of those statues Marty Scorsese’s way – $27 million

2. You’d think that with all the scary shit going on in the news right now, moviegoers would just save their ten bucks, skip Homicidal Maniac Killers 29, and get the bejeezus scared out of them from the comfort of their living room. FoxNews has terror On Demand – $19.1 million

3. Kids sure are suckers$16 million

4. “Shitty movie with a hacky comedian and a fame-whoring tabloid queen that I don’t want to see” of the month$11.8 million

5. I said it after 3000 Miles to Graceland, Dragonfly, Open Range, The Upside of Anger, and Rumor Has It…, and I’ll say it again: Kevin Costner is BACK! – $9.6 million

ICYMI: K-Fed Gets His Acting On

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Kevin Federline– not satisfied with just being a bad rapper and bad husband, has added “bad actor” to his resume (note: Just pretend K-Fed has a resume. We know it’s unlikely… so just pretend). Kevin makes his acting debut on CSI this Thursday, and here’s a clip of his sure-to-be-Emmy-nominated performance.

We’re shocked he’s taking on the role of an annoying, unlikable, white homeboy. The man has mad acting skillz (with a ‘z’), yo.

ICYMI: Dip Your Balls In It

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To announce of the LONG overdue availability of The State on iTunes, the cast members (well, most of them, including our very own David Wain!) of MTV’s seminal sketch comedy show got back together to film this sketch-omercial that left us laughing and hysterically while secretly wondering whether Michael Ian Black was too busy sharing his dry observations on the 72 Craziest Wacky Celebrity Sightings In Guatemala to join his old friends.

(via ProductShopNYC)

While You Were Wishing Dateline’s Chris Hanson Would Have a Few Words With Congressman Foley

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  • I think the reason we haven’t been paying much attention the the big Sienna Miller vs. The City of Pittsburgh brouhaha is that we’ve found it nearly impossible to determine which of the two parties we care less about. Anyway, she says she’s sorry!
  • On a recent episode of Ellen, Rod Stewart made a startling revelation about his daughter Kim’s friend Paris Hilton – she apparently “enjoys publicity”. With that kind of keen insight, it really is no wonder so many people want his body and think he’s sexy.
  • Billy Joel’s daughter Alexa is releasing her debut album, a six-song EP called Sketches (I guess Pianoadolescentgirl isn’t as catchy) that will fall somewhere between Sean Lennon’s Friendly Fire and Lisa Marie Presley’s Now What on the scale of misguided musical endeavors by children of rock legends.
  • If you ever felt like your dad was sorta lame and embarassing back when you were 18, just be glad your dad wasn’t Andy Dick, who apparently feels the need to make the distinction between his boy and his boytoys.
  • The cast of The Office could do a dramatic reading of Mein Kampf and make it pretty funny, but their interpretation of Jenna “Pam” Fischer’s recent “10 Things You Don’t Know About Women” piece in Esquire – hilarityville.

Best Night Ever: Sunday, October 8th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 8th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives!

Best Of The Best Week Ever

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And don’t forget, our very own Paul F. Tompkins hit up the Wired NextFest this week. Tune into Best Week Ever tonight at 11 to find out what the future’s gonna be like. If you’re in the mood to knock back a few while watching, play the BWE drinking game and drink every time there’s some sort of violence. Slapping, kicking, hitting, even threats of violence. Enjoy the show!

Hey, He DOES Kinda Look Like John Mayer!

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johnmayerblog.jpgI’m gonna go ahead an admit this: I can’t stand John Mayer the Musician, but I’m starting to become something of a fan of John Mayer the Funny Guy/Blogger. In his latest post, John discovers MyHeritage, an amusing website on which users can have their picture analyzed by a special facial recognition technology, then told which celebrities they most resemble. While he’s not breaking any news (I blogged about MyHeritage all the way back in April and was shocked to discover that I look like Marky-Mark), John has a pretty hilarious revelation: he bears a 72% resemblance to Academy Award-winner Jessica Lange, but only a 62% resemblance to John Mayer the Musician. Crazy computers!

LISTEN UP: H To The Izzo is B To The Izzack

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  • Jay-Z is back! Yeah, he never went away, but he’s back! Idolator has the lead track off his latest comeback album, so go grab it now.
  • A big thank you to
    Music For Kids Who Can’t Read Good
    for posting the Arcade Fire cover of that great New Order song from the Marie Antoinette commercials, as well as a Cure song from the soundtrack.
  • Dreams of Horses has a couple of Yeah Yeah Yeah B-sides today that prove they couldn’t write a bad song if they tried.
  • Tunes Help You Live More Easily has a handful of TITs by The Lemonheads today. That’s “Tropical Island Tunes”, pervert.
  • And finally, Neiles Life keeps on truckin’ with their 125 Albums That Should Be In Your Collection. So head on over there for tracks by Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Blink-182, Warren G and a whole lot more.