While You Were Wanting To Be Sedated

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  • Patti Smith headlined the final concert at legendary NY punk club CBGB’s Sunday night. The crowd was said to be even more ‘emo’tional than usual.
  • Ashton Kutcher still wants to win a $1,000 bet he made with friends that he’d go on a date with Jennifer Aniston. A desperate Aniston has offered to throw in an additonal $500 to make it happen.
  • James Blunt has reportedly been dumped by model Petra Nemcova. Blunt will cope with the break-up by writing a dozen more songs that make you want to rip your ears off.
  • Geri “Ginger Spice” Haliwell has told police that she’s being stalked. It’s unclear if she told them because she wants it to stop, or if she just wanted to point out that somebody still cares.
  • Oliver Stone wants to follow World Trade Center with a movie revolving around the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Though he can’t decide whether to name it WTC 2: The Phantom Menace or WTC 2: The Smell Of Fear.

Best Night Ever: Sunday, October 15th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 15th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives and Girls Next Door!

Best of the Best Week Ever: Mel Gibson Hates Us Right Now

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Have a great weekend, all! We’ll see you back on Monday.

GAMES: A Family Affair

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family affair 2.jpgBecause you can’t get enough of Ashlee and Jessica. Because you’ve often wondered what it’d be like if Ashlee had a wheelbarrow full of fast food and Jessica was lobbing hot dogs at her. And because you’re really really really bored at work. That’s why you want to play A Family Affair, the latest VH1 Game that pits Jessica against Ashlee. Or something. I haven’t exactly figured it out yet.

Anyway, this game should keep you busy for LITERALLY minutes on end. So go ahead; make like Joe Simpson and start playing with them girls.

THE DAILY DOUCHE: What’s Left of My Zima

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nickdbag.jpgFiling Nick Lachey under “D for Douche” is sort of like calling Paris Hilton “a little promiscuous” – it just goes without saying. But some d-bags are d-baggier than others, and when Jessica Simpson’s c*ck-loving cuckold told David Letterman that he deals with his divorce from that brainless boobjob by “throwing himself into a little bit of booze to kind of numb the pain”, he’s pretty much slamming his fist down on the bar after half a beer and drunkenly announcing to everyone within earshot, “I AM NICK LACHEY, AND I AM A PATHETIC DOUCHEBAG!” like the total Sorority Girl that he is. The mental image of that blonde-tipped baby crying into a bottle of Smirnoff Ice over the inevitable failure of his publicity stunt marriage makes it so much easier to understand why wifey would want to be the meat in the middle of a Jackass sandwich. Anyways, congratulations Nick – you’re today’s Daily Douche. And a total pussy.

Shuffling Towards The Weekend: morning theft

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holmes.jpgMorning Theft is an NYC band via Boston that sounds a little bit like Nirvana, a little bit like The Replacements, and a whole lot like Awesome (does that even make sense?) They’ll be playing a Halloween show in Cambridge, MA where they cover Weezer’s blue album from beginning to end, so if you’re in the Boston area you can’t miss it (you can find out more about it and listen to a few tracks on their MySpace page, natch.) Lead singer Rob Holmes sat down in the BWE iPod Shuffle chair today and threw caution to the wind. Let’s see how he did:

1.) Jeff Buckley “Corpus Christi Carol” – I named my band after a Jeff Buckley song. But not this one.
2.) Hole “Miss World” – One of the best songs Kurt Cobain ever wrote
3.) The Pixies “Down To The Well” – God, i love this band. Boston represent.
4.) The Replacements “Alex Chilton” – Something bugs me about the lyric “children by the million wait for alex chilton.” Stupid Mark Foley, ruining everything.
5.) Dane Cook “Where’s the Handle” – I love listening to comedy CDs, and i used to really really like Dane Cook… but seriously, Dane, what the hell? What is wrong with you? You’re like the new Ben Affleck….a Boston boy gone wrong.

Alright, now it’s your turn. Shuffle your iPod and leave your songs in the comments. And don’t lie!

ICYMI: Smooth Moves

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What can I say? Girlfriend has some straight up KILLER dance moves. This is what Justin was talking about with “bringing the SexyBack”.

The Ugliest Woman of ’06? Vote Now!

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The Bastardly wants you to vote on who you think deserves the title of Ugliest Woman of ’06.

This is far from an informal poll– The Bastardly folks have it all covered. There’s a point system, there’s a submission deadline, and there are dozens and dozens of fugly celebrities to choose from. So who do you think deserves to be on the list? Let us know… but more importantly, let them know.

LISTEN UP: Friday the 13th

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  • What better way to get into the blood-curling spookiness of this cursed day than by heading over to Rewriteable Content and grabbing a track from The Blood Brothers!
  • It’s scary how prolific and talented those Bishop Allen kids are, and You Ain’t No Picasso knows what I’m talking about.
  • What are you dressing up as for Halloween? Based on what I’m hearing over at Indieblogheaven, it would appear as if Sean Lennon will be going as a third-rate version of his father – again!
  • MyExBestFriend tells us that The Horrors are frighteningly awesome.
  • Shotcallin’ knows that, just like Jason Voorhies, Jay-Z’s career simply…won’t…die!

The Office: Hitting My Soul in the Crotch with a Frozen Sledgehammer

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DWIGHTRECORDER.JPGBefore we do a mini-recap of last night’s episode, we want to bring something slightly disturbing and very entertaining to your attention. Actress Kate Flannery, better known as Purell-ingesting Meredith, wrote a fantastic short story for the website Fresh Yarn called “Not Really a Star F#*ker.” It tells the tale of Kate, on the road as Alice the Maid in The Real Live Brady Bunch, and her months-long passionate love affair with… wait for it… DAVY JONES from The Monkees. Makes us love Kate/Meredith even more.

Moving along… Grief Counseling last night returned The Office back to it’s brilliant season 2 form, with enough quotable quotes to fill up at least an entire 13 minutes of watercooler chat. Most noteworthy thing: Ryan has a personality! He speaks! He’s involved! He had by far the funniest moment of the night, which I’d recap, but it would probably take me like a minute and half to tell that whole story. Also, I’m a sucker for beak humor, so this one really hit it out of the park. And Jim and Karen? Still pretty cute, albeit in a scripted kinda way. Leave your favorite moments/thoughts in the comments. (The deleted scene over at NBC should please you Toby fans out there.)

Finally, it appears that the writer’s of this show have seen one of my favorite movies ever: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. Dwight’s robot drawing looked very similar to the drawing of John Travolta‘s portable orange bubble suit. Well played.