The edgy comedy writing geniuses over at SNL made this topical Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto trailer “re-cut” by simply placing funny Jew-hating subtitles over the actual preview (which is in Mayan). Even though I feel like I’ve already seen this on the Internet a hundred times (as recently as Friday’s startlingly similar version from Eat the Press), you’ve got to hand it to them for resisting the temptation to have the Mayans rapping.
- The American Film Institute has named Borat one of the Top 10 Films of the Year, alongside United 93. No joke here, we just want you to start off your morning picturing a world where a movie featuring a naked man-on-man wrestling match gets nominated for an Academy Award. (As it should, p.s.)
- Rosie O’Donnell is telling Asians to “chill out” regarding some “ching-chong” comments she made on The View last week. We’ve been saying for years that the only thing The View is missing is a huge gong and Barbara Walters in a rice paddy hat.
- Britney Spears did some redecorating this weekend, and finally bought drapes to match the carpet.
- Paul McCartney is reported to be scrounging up a sizeable divorce package for ex-wife Heather Mills, in the range of $235 Million, or roughly 1,206,818 half-pedicures.
- Courtney Cox-Arquette has left the door wide-open for a Friends reunion show, in a soon-to-be classic known as “The One Where Everyone Kind of Looks Like Sh*t And Feels Sorry for Themselves.”
Itâ€™s Best Night Ever for Sunday, December 10th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including: The Wire, Dexter, the season finale of The Amazing Race, and Animals in the Womb [how exotic].
Michael blogs at perpetuallynauseous.blogspot.com
- We create a Britney Spears‘ Vagina Hilarity Index, and then the girl goes ahead and ruins it for everyone.
- Singing in front of large, sparkly, orbular objects makes Jessica Simpson nervous, as evidenced by her 9-to-5 flub in front of Dolly Parton.
- The Lohanvolution is upon us people. Set your pubes on fire, raise your blackberries in the air, and be adequite!
- The perfect gift for your ailing Grandmother this Christmas? The Screech Sex Tape, aka The Final Nail In the Coffin II: Is That Chocolate Pudding?
- Zarf or Mary Cheney? Not as easy as it sounds.
- The World of Advertising delivers two Christmas miracles! Bad acting and Celine Dion!
- Easiest way to test for a-holes in the workplace? Announce a Grammy Award pool and see who puts their money into it… aaand they’re the a-holes.
- And Vince Vaughn tosses Jennifer Aniston for (say it with us) a Stage 5 Clinger. (We have seen Wedding Crashers approx. 514 times on Cinemax over the past 3 months, and are really psyched when given a reason to quote it… so lock it up, for serious.)
We premiered this video a few weeks back, but what with the release of the movie, we felt the time was right to reintroduce it into your lives. We hope you enjoy… Zach Braff‘s Apocalypto.
Well, it’s finally here, the wedding you had previously all been waiting for until you decided you didn’t really care anymore: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They plan to wed in Africa, in a small village outside of Johannesburg, and don’t think of the wedding so much as a traditional wedding but more of a spiritual affirmation. We think of it as Shiloh‘s Partial Debastardization. This will be the third marriage for Jolie, who spent her previous two marriages tattooing the names of her “eternal loves” Billy Bob Thornton and Johnny Lee Miller across her body. Brad, who’s pocking in at a whopping 43-years of age, only has so many years left on his “hottest man alive” moniker (approx. 35 more years left, to be exact), so we’re glad to see he’s finally settling down before the classic “he-used-to-be-so-hot’s” ring in.
And side note: Oprah is actually invited to this one! We’re sure she’ll give the happy couple a (screamed like Oprah) Reallllly Expensiiiive Preseeeent!!!!
Eat the Press has obtained some exclusive still shots (complete with subtitles) of Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto, which opens tonight. Turns out that my perception of what the movie’s about was waaaaaay off. Click here to see for yourself.
If this clip of Patton Oswalt’s set is any indication of the hilarity levels we can expect from Comedy Central’s Last Laugh ’06 on Sunday night, we know where we’ll be eating our KFC Bowls. (Via CC Insider)
I feel bad for our parents.
Because not only did they grow up in a world without cell phones, plasma screens and Nintendo Wii, but they also grew up in a world without an internet. So they never got to experience online crushes, stalking people on MySpace or Googling ex-lovers. They never had to say “thanks for the add” or “why did you block me?” They never wrestled over whether to update their profile status to “In A Relationship” and they never emailed their favorite music bloggers to thank them for a great mp3. But perhaps the saddest thing of all… they never experienced the joy of taking a picture, putting it on the head of an elf and then watching it dance around like a maniac.
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This sort of reminds me of that wedding picture with Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and David Gest, except without Prozac.