You’ve already met Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens – the two long-haired rapscallions repsonsible for turning a publicity stunt for a cartoon program into a Paralyzing Terror Nightmire that sent the entire city of Boston into a fear-ravaged fetal position. At the conclusion of their mandatory imprisonment for their wanton acts of nightmarish evil, our two young protagonists gave a press conference in which they chose only to discuss the finer points of various hairstyles, mostly those of the 70’s, which then sent reporters and Fox News into a predictable rabble of anger and confusion. These guys are AWESOME – can we give them a reality show? Can we can we pleeeease?
- The Rawking Refuses To Stop has some live Shins tunes, including a great take on “New Slang” with Iron & Wine.
- Can’t wait for the new Bloc Party album? Jonk’s Music Blog has another new track, “The Prayer”. Check it out.
- Sonorama.net posted five songs by The Pastels, including “I Picked A Flower” featuring the one and only Jarvis Cocker.
- The Cowmonkey has a great mix today, featuring tracks by Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Travis and more.
- And finally, A Beef Sandwich posted three Fats Domino mp3s that you pretty much need to have. You know, do it for New Orleans.
File this one under “Are You F*cking Kidding Me!?!”, because what you are looking at is Mandy Moore publicly making out with “DJ AM”. That dude should write a book called How To Trick Chicks Into Thinking You Are Cool and Talented for those of us who lack the ability to comprehend his baffling ability to consistently convince attractive women to sleep with him. Sure, Nicole Richie and Kristin Cavallari aren’t exactly the Holy Grails of Sexual Conquest, but Mandy freaking Moore!?!
This has gone too far. At the risk of sounding like a bitter jealous asshole (which I am), I’m going to come right out and say: THIS DUDE’S SOLE SKILL IS PLAYING OTHER PEOPLE’S MUSIC. Seriously, isn’t the DJ-as-celebrity thing over yet? With the advent of music blogs, iTunes, Satellite Radio, et al., pretty much anyone with ears and an Internet connection can find out about the coolest, most indie-awesome-underground sh*t there is out there, plop it into a playlist, and blast beats from their MacBook while they stand there trying to look purposeful by playing with buttons. Even Lindsay Lohan.
1. He’s a Prince. An honest to God Prince.
2. He was wealthier as a baby.
3. He looks a little bit like his Dad.
4. His Mom is a nurse.
5. He’s the original Suri Cruise.
Give up?? Answer after the jump.
According to our friends over at I Don’t Like You In That Way (via HowardStern.com and OhNoTheyDidn’t), Girls Gone Wild founder/ sleazeball Joe Francis called into the Howard Stern Show Wednesday morning to
brag about banging most of young Hollywood complain about Parisexposed.com and talk about his pending lawsuit. Of course, since Joe isn’t exactly the private type and Howard isn’t exactly the shy type, we ended up learning a lot. More than we wanted to, actually. We learned things like:
- Joe has slept with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart and Tara Reid
- Paris is better at going downtown than Lindsay
- Tara is terrible in bed
- Tara is terrible in bed, potentially because Joe “only used protection” with her
- Tara is terrible in bed, potentially because she just laid there
- Tara is terrible in bed, potentially because she has a “big smelly loose vagina”
- Joe doesn’t plan on sleeping with Paris again now that he’s seen her medical records
And so much more! Of course, according to the person who reported listening to this, Joe sounded “extremely drugged up, or hungover, or still drunk” so who knows if any of this is true or not. We don’t know what to believe. Well, except for the Tara Reid vagina part. We have a feeling that’s right on the money.
Unless you spent the last week in a sensory deprivation chamber, the chances are that some blog, magazine, website, jackass co-worker, TV show, Bravo themselves, or any combination thereof ruined the outcome of this season of Top Chef for you by breathlessly announcing the winner prior to last night’s finale. If you haven’t already tasted the exquisite flavor of having a season’s worth of suspense spoiled for you, allow me: Ilan Hall out-foamed, out-fried and out-fricasseed Marcel Vigneron all the way to the title of Top Chef! After last week’s shocking misjudgements, the big showdown (two guys who are sort of d*cks to each other FACE OFF!) ended up feeling sort of anti-climactic, even for devoted fans of the show. However, the night was not without it’s highlights, which include:
- Ilan trying to pee on Marcel after the Oompa Loompa/Wolverine hybrid got himself stung by a jellyfish.
- Sam and Michael punking Marcel by choosing to work on his team solely for the purpose of taking a few more jabs at him.
- Betty proving, once again, that she’s the most universally unlikeable personality in the biz.
- Marcel thinking the Top Chef finale is the appropriate venue to d*ck around with his experimental recipe for “salad dressing encapsulated in crystallized unicorn tears”.
Sure, we all know Kevin Federline is making his Superbowl Ad debut this Sunday, as a fast food worker for Nationwide. But did you know he’s actually starring in two commercials? Crazy, right? Here’s the other, lesser known commersh. We think it’s some of his finest work!
UPDATE: Really, folks? Cammannnnnm.
In his self-parodying Super Bowl commercial, Kevin Federline called down the fast food industry thunder and now’s he’s got it. Greg Creed, President of Taco Bell and the man who brought us the Grilled Stuffed Fiesta Burrito, has said “f*ck it, let’s get in on some of this sweet Federline publicity”, thrown down the gordita gauntlet and written an open letter challenging the Fresnoian wannabe rapper to work one eighth of a single shift at a Taco Bell of his choosing:
Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We’ll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We’ll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.
Your watering mouth is most certainly the result of imagining a fantasy world in which you served a delicious Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquito, free of charge, for simply being fearless enough to allow a smiling Kevin Federline to prepare your food. “Yo quiero” indeed.
In case you haven’t heard, some people over at Turner Broadcasting are in a teensy weensy bit of trouble because of an Aqua Teen Hunger Force guerilla marketing campaign gone wrong. Yesterday a couple of struggling artists in Boston were arrested for hanging up blinking electronic signs to promote the Aqua Teen movie. Of course, since Bostonians love to create drama (Um, Boston Tea Party anybody? Hel-lo), somebody thought the city was under attack by terrorists and panic ensued. Apparently it was “wicked scary.” Anyway, here’s a video of the two dudes hanging the ads around Boston. Or, as the prosecution will call it, Exhibit A.
Great job, Boston. Way to be on top of terrorism… now.
Just when you think “Can he get anymore annoying?”, and just when you think “Oh, he’s in anger management! Thank god, it looks like the end!”, news comes out that Andy Bernard, the most annoying character in Office history and Michael Scott‘s stalker, has been upped to regular cast member. Regular. Freaaakin. Cast. Member. Meaning that there will be no shortage of a cappella related jokes and smarmy flirtations with Pam in the near future.
Our feelings on this news are mixed. On the one hand, we’ve always liked Ed Helms, but on the other hand, the Andy character is so absolutely annoying it’s kind of a bummer to learn he’ll always be around. For one thing, ever since his arrival on the show, Michael’s been acting depressed… and poor Dwight will have a permanent nemesis to work against. When will it end? He was a fun change for a few months, a new broom in the Dunder Mifflin cog, but we have trouble picturing our favorite cast functioning as regularly scheduled with his included presence. For God’s sake, why couldn’t they make Todd Packer a regular??? Check out this clip from tonight’s brand new episode of Todd and tell us you wouldn’t mind seeing that in Scranton every week. Also, no word on how much longer Karen will be there, but hopefully the answer is not much longer, if you catch our drift.