Joy Behar Eagerly Anticipates Crappy Cell Phone Video of Anna Wintour’s Dangling Corpse

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saddam2.jpgYou gotta love the ladies of The View- they don’t hold back.

On today’s show, our hosts were predictably peeved over the media’s fascination with Tyra Banks’ weight gain. As expected, they pointed out how absurd it was to criticize a supermodel for putting on a couple of pounds and, naturally, it was the fashion industry that deserves most of the blame. But it wasn’t until Joy Behar called the folks at Vogue and Elle magazine “war criminals” that the conversation went from clichéd to AWESOME. Check it out here.

ICYMI: Donald Trump Emerges As Greatest Pro Wrestling Jackass Millionaire Since Ted DiBiase

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trumpWWE.JPGLast night Donald Trump followed in K-Fed’s FUBU footsteps as the latest celebuclown to show up on WWE Raw. Apropos of nothing, Trump appeared on a large video monitor and launched into one of his classic blowhardy “I’m a rich successful businessman” speeches, then dropped a bunch of cash down from the ceiling onto the rednecky audience, many of whom had likely never even SEEN a hundred dollar bill before, much less stood in the midst of a money shower sent from the Event Center heavens by His Holiness the Donald. This display of pseudo-generosity sent WWE ownder Vince McMahon into a predictable Professional Wrestling fury, defeatedly stalking backstage like a hunchback with the worst case of hemorrhoids in recorded human history. The Donald’s bizarre appearance set many wrestling insiders’ tongues a-wagging with speculation of Trump reviving the Million Dollar Man character once portrayed by Ted DiBiase for the upcoming Summer Slam, featuring a no-holds-barred cage match in which he would completely decimate Rosie O’Donnell and her fat face.

PROPPED: Zombie Wedding Absolutely Terrifying

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Back when I worked as a caterer in college I ended up bartending a ton of weddings. It was fun making cocktails for grown-ups and teenagers with bad fake ID’s (I’m just kidding, I never asked for ID) and then watching them hit the dance floor. But it was around that time that I made a very important decision: When I get married, white people aren’t allowed to dance at my wedding. We never, ever, ever look cool. This video of an entire wedding party doing the Michael Jackson “Thriller” dance only proves my point.

Okay, maybe that was cool. I can’t tell.

Yeah, it’s old, but it was Propped by roxdy so we thought we’d post it. Do you have something you want us to see? Drop it now!

What’s The Point Of Making Another “Best Superbowl Commercials” List?

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It seems like every year a handful of websites, newspapers and magazines make a list of the 10 Best Superbowl Commercials ever. And since we’ve been trained to believe that Superbowl commercials are somehow more important than regular commercials, whenever we see these lists we’re instantly inclined to check them out. Like we’re going to learn something. Or like the list of commercials isn’t also kind of a commercial itself. Well, I propose that we stop paying attention to these lists. Why? Because every year it’s the EXACT SAME THING! The Budweiser Frogs, Mean Joe Greene, MJ vs. Larry Bird. And, without fail, the number 1 commercial is this Apple ad from 1984 (below). Enough is enough. I refuse to read another word about Superbowl ads until we find a new number 1. Come on. Back when MTV played music videos, even they would bounce back and forth between “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Thriller”. Variety is good. Let’s work on that.

Skoo-Be-Doo Michael Bublé Is a Be-Boo-Bop A-Hole

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BUBLE.JPGThere is a lot that bothers us about the NY Daily News‘ report on Michael Bublé‘s (aka the Poor Man’s Matt Dillon) Grammy-related antics, but before we delve into our cauldron of Haterade, here is the report:

Poor Emily Blunt won’t get to wear her Grammy frock. Her boyfriend, singer Michael Bublé, is refusing to go to the Feb. 11 awards ceremony in L.A. In the first place, he says, his category doesn’t get any TV time. “They give away our Best Traditional Pop award at a dinner before the Grammys, so I just think that’s bull-,” Bublé told the Canadian Press. “I think it’s absolute crap.” But he also confesses, “Why should I go to the Grammys? Because I’ll lose. They might as well have already scratched Tony Bennett‘s name into the damn thing. I’m not going.”

Bublé did accompany Blunt to the Golden Globes when she was nominated for her scene-stealing turn in “The Devil Wears Prada,” but he wasn’t there when she clinched Best Supporting Actress. “When she won the thing, I was outside having a cigarette,” he declared.

Let’s start off with the fact that his last name is Bublé, with an accent mark. Meaning that whenever I want to shoot out a hate mail, I gotta use MS Word symbols, taking me an extra 10 seconds. But more than that, could the guy have a worse attitude? He’s crooning adult contemporary easy listening music, not rewriting the Book of Love. Admittedly, the Grammy’s have horrible taste in music (Fergie‘s got a slew of em, right?), but you bet your ass even I was nominated for “Best Native American Grammy” I’d gladly don my glitziest headdress and sidle up next to Chris Isaak or whoever else was at my table. And you know what? When the Little Jeans Band is called up to accept their award 7 hours before the actual televised ceremony, I’d clap my hands til they bled. And if Tony Bennett won? I’d join a cult and kill myself. Out of joy.

But perhaps the worst cardinal sin is what an a-hole of a boyfriend he is to Emily Blunt! Not only is he denying her the single opportunity to flirt with real musicians, but he’s completely indifferent about missing her big Golden Globe win. Are crooners even allowed to smoke? Tony Bennett is rolling over in his 24K Gold isolation chamber right now.

While You Were Worshipping False Idols

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  • Miss USA admitted to using cocaine, then said, “the more that I get it off my chest, the better I feel about myself”. Whatever, we liked her better when she still had coke all over her chest.
  • K-Fed has reportedly turned down a $25 million offer from Britney to give up custody of their kids. THAT is how concerned he is about leaving them in her care.
  • Brandy is being sued for $50 million in a wrongful death suit filed by the family of ther woman killed in her December car accident. The sum reflects the $40 million they would have sued her for a month ago when the accident happened, plus a $5 million “cover-up fee”, plus $5 million interest.
  • Here’s a video of Paris Hilton singing a racist song while some douchebag looks on hoping he will get to have sex with her later.
  • A clubgoer who tried to take pictures of P. Diddy and Sienna Miller had her memory card taken by one of Diddy’s security goons. She did, however, get to keep the memory of watching those two drunkenly dance together, which will be burned into her brain forever.

Best Night Ever for Tuesday, January 30th!

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It’s the Best Night Ever for Tuesday, January 30th! Mindy Raf is here to walk you through the best moments of Tuesday night TV, including: American Idol, Big Day, The Real Housewives of Orange County and the new season of Road Rules: Viewers Revenge!

…Of The Day

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  • PUDDING POPS: Ben Stiller and Scarlett Johansson are this year’s recipients of the Harvard theater group’s Hasty Pudding Award. Not sure why that matters, but it’s a good excuse to post a Scar-Jo pic. (Yahoo)
  • MORE THAN JUST GREAT PROSTITUTES: It turns out Kazhakstan is damn good at hockey too, as indicated by their 52-1 drubbing of Thailand. (Deadspin)
  • OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE CRAZY: Does American Idol plan on replacing Paula Abdul with Courtney Love? Um, I really, really hope so. (Faded Youth)
  • SCREECHED!: Apparently Dustin Diamond is not a pleasure to work with. But we knew that after watching his sex tape. (Celebrity Warship)
  • WINO: Teri Hatcher likes to bathe in wine. So there’s another thing that Teri Hatcher has in common with that homeless guy who sleeps in front of your building. (I’m Not Obsessed)

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: The Mighty, They Fall

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Usually, we love watching models tumble to the ground (examples here, here and here). But little did we know that the model falling down the stairs on today’s Good Morning America was not just any model, but rather an intern at Vogue. And you can imagine our shock to learn that this “intern” was actually Whitney, star of MTV’s The Hills. We’re surprised Andre Leon Talley would dare let an intern set a decrepit foot in his Christian Louboutin’s! To her credit, she is a million times less nightmarish than the girl in the Streisand outfit, who actually never blinks.