Listen, we’re not going to rag on Lindsay Lohan for releasing a long and rambling statment regarding the death of Robert Altman yesterday. Different people deal with grief in different ways. Some people internalize it, others feel the need to share their thoughts through a publicist. That’s FINE. We’re not going to mock. However, we are going to request one simple thing: if you’re friends with Lindsay Lohan, please don’t die. Do whatever it is you have to do to live forever… or at least outlive her. Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs… basically, look at what Lindsay does and do the opposite. That’s a start.
We’re not cracking wise here. We’re being sincere. Don’t die. It’s cute and endearing when Lindsay writes things like “Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on” now because she’s young. But if she keeps it up, eventually we’re going to have to make fun of her. We’d have no choice. And we don’t want that to happen. So do us a favor– don’t die. Any of you (yes, even you Paris.) Thank you.
Our friends at Defamer point us towards the latest YouTubular development in the Kramergate Scandal: a clip of Michael Richards playing a black person, which now carries with it an entirely new meaning.
The online detectives at Oh No They Didn’t have come across an interesting/career-killing blind item on a blog written by an anonymous entertainment lawyer. The gist of it is that a woman who made a living as a back-up singer was asked to record some demo songs… only to hear her voice on the radio a number of months later being passed off as a famous female singer’s. This woman would end up becoming the voice behind the name, even recording special “live” tracks for the singer’s tour. Very few hints are given as to who the singer could be, but there are some clues: The singer rose to popularity around 2000, and her second album did even better than her first — which was also a success.
The comments have speculated on a few singers — Jennifer Lopez being one. At first, we thought this made perfect sense, but what are the odds that this back-up singer has the same affected Latina accent as JLo? Unless the entire thing is made up? Any other ideas as to who it could be?
To pass the time before you’re sitting at your Turkey Day table, shoving bird down your gullet, here’s an amusing little short from Pete & Brian, who you might recognize from their work with us on Best Night Ever, about two cops who transcend all stereotypes. Enjoy!
It’s fun when you stumble upon earlier versions of your favorite characters. Like when you see old pictures of Mickey Mouse before he became Mickey Mouse. Or old videos of Robin Williams before he became terrible. Stuff like that. Well, Popoholic found this old clip of Borat from before he was Borat. Meet Cristoph, the Albanian predecessor to everybody’s favorite Kazakh reporter.
Despite the fact that this is 8 years old, I bet somebody from Albania still decides to sue him.
You know it’s a slow news week when 1. Someone covering someone else’s mouth is a top story; 2. Kelly Ripa is in the news; 3. Said controversy is used as a platform to confront germ/homophobia. Well, Aiken’s much-hyped appearance on Regis & Kelly last week has now reached the heights of self-parody, as evidenced on last night’s American Music Awards. Check out this clip of Clay Aiken and a pregnant Tori Spelling introducing the next act… If only to see Spelling pulling a Heidi Klum in the “looking better pregnant” department.
At a recent New York City gig, pianoman Ben Folds decided to take a break from singing about abortions long enough to punk a few thousand fans. Suck on that, ticket-buying public!
With the help of Improv Everywhere, Folds fooled a sold out Hammerstein Ballroom into thinking that he and his band had been caught lip syncing. But rather than dance off stage a la Ashlee Simpson, they came up with a much better way to get out of trouble. You know what, I’m not doing this justice. Read about the whole thing here.
Link via Stereogum
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, November 21st! Alex Blagg is here to walk you through the best of The American Music Awards!