While You Were Feeling Fabolous

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  • Britney Spears is looking into adopting an African baby now that her idol, Madonna, has. Now if only somebody could talk Madonna into jumping off a bridge… 2 birds with one stone.
  • Madonna says her new adopted baby, David, is “just the best little baby ever.” Rocco & Lourdes, meanwhile, have begun their inevitable search for a good therapist.
  • Rapper Fabolous was shot in the leg early Tuesday morning. He’s in stoble condotion.
  • Rod Stewart said Paris Hilton would have been on the top of his list if she was around when he was a little bit younger. It’s assumed he means his list of “People Who May Have Given Me That Uncomfortable Rash, You-Know-Where.”
  • The U.S. population officially hit the 300 million mark at 7:46 a.m. today. So thank you Kevin Federline– we couldn’t have done it without you.

Best Night Ever: Monday, October 16th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, October 16th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including How I Met Your Mother, Two and A Half Men and The New Adventures of Old Christine!

…OF THE DAY

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  • PERMANENT VACATION: Lindsay Lohan thinks it might be time to take a vacation from the vacation that is her life. (The Scoop)
  • ANIMANIAC: Donald Trump continues his domination of the lucrative Masturbatory Self-Exploitation market, this time diversifying “The Donald” brand into an animated series. Now he’ll be a cartoon both figuratively and literally. (TV Squad)
  • SWEDISH ‘MEATBALLS’: Okay, so it was Norway, but you know the 22 year-old college girl who showed up to the late-night with Bill Murray was crowned Queen of the Party. (CNN)
  • CASTING OUTRAGE: With all the controversey sorrouning Borat, Sascha Baron Cohen’s addition to the cast of Sweeney Todd is sure to draw protest from the Serial Killing Barber/Baker community. (Production Weekly)
  • SPELL CHECK: I’m partially responsible for several of “Yahoo’s top 20 most misspelled web searches”, but was surpised that “cristina agulera noodz” didn’t make the list. (Pop Candy)

THE DAILY DOUCHE: Dirty Hippie-ocrite

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aviator.jpgI generally like Leonardo DiCaprio as an actor, and I’m certainly a supporter of environmental awareness, but there is simply no denying the glaring douchitude of producing a bleeding-heart choir-preaching documentary about global warming while simultaneously jet-setting yourself and your friends all over the planet you’re trying to save in a fuel-guzzling private luxury plane that makes even the most jackassiest stretched-out Hummer look like a hippie’s peace-sign-covered Prius. This kind of guilty-about-my-privileged-life “limousine liberalism” gives regular people who genuinely care about the environment a bad name, and gives Bill O’Reilly a smug sense of satisfaction. So even though I loved you in The Departed, Leo, your blatant hypocrisy has earned you the honor of being today’s Daily Douche.

SHOW AND TELL: NEW FEATURE ALERT!!!

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Show and Tell is a new daily feature here at BWE, where we take the day’s most noteworthy and strange photographs, and put them in a spiffy and convenient digital player for your perusal, with our requisite snappy captions. Just click on the highly obvious yellow arrows to see the rest of the photos!

ICYMI: Pam Ups The Ante

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Gawker directed us over to this video that has absolutely brightened up our day. It’s Pam & Jim like you’ve never seen them before. If only they really spoke like this on The Office… (audio NSFW)

LISTEN UP: Pickin’ Slim

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  • Langhorne Slim’s drunk-on-rye brand of quick-pickin’ neo-folk might sound like it was recorded during the Great Depression, but it still makes me – and Dirty Bronson – smile. If you’re digging that, grab some live tracks over at Daytrotter.
  • With CMJ just around the corner, rock jockeys everywhere are preparing for this year’s big race to become the Next Big Thing, and based on what I’m hearing over at Metro Distortion, the boys in Oxford Collapse wouldn’t be a bad horse to bet on.
  • Cat Power might be the new face of Chanel, but Captain’s Dead knows she’ll always be the sound of tempestous soul princesses who’d whisper you a love song then punch you in the face.
  • The indie rock world was shaken this past weekend in Houston when the folkies from Two Gallants were arrested by “The Man” during a performance. MOKB has all the breaking coverage – and a track from the two jailbirds.
  • Out-of-nowhere newcomers Can Joann are burning their way through the blogosphere, and Faronheit has captured thier HEAT!

SIZZLER: WHO IS TYRA’S MYSTERY HUNK?!?

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If you are a devout follower of Tyra Banks‘ talk show Tyra (as we are), you know that she often casually talks about bein’ out with some man, some fine ass man, going to dinner, hangin’ out, and each time the story ends the same way: “Girl, he didn’t even call me!” We never understood what kind of man would not call Tyra. Sure, she’s borderline re-re, and fine, she thinks pretty highly of herself, but let’s face it: She’s a supermodel. We always figured these mystery hunks were the figment of a heavily mistaken imagination.

But yesterday at Miami’s Setai Hotel, Tyra was photographed with — gasp — a mystery man! Ohh… we love mysteries. Who is he? What’s his name? Why are his breasts so large? What is her ring all about? IS TYRA GETTING MARRIED?!?! Breathe… just breathe. Anyone know who this dude is? We want to look up their registry. Although having to listen to her wedding plans for the next 10 months might be a silent killer, like carbon monoxide. More pics after the jump.

GAMES: Make Your Own Simpsons Promo Contest!

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SIMPSONSTREEHOUSE1.JPGOn November 5, The Simpsons will air their 17th Treehouse of Horror episode. To honor the occassion, they’ve created a creative contest for all you fans out there: Treehouse Of Horror XVII: Slice-Dice-and-Win, where you can make your own Simpsons promo. They give you a generous offering of clips, transitions, sound effects and your own text from which to create your genius. Plus, they’re giving away limited edition prizes to the best entries. You have until Nov. 5, so shut the blinds, forget your loved ones, and get cracking.