ZARF BAG: He Is So Quick On His Feet!


There were many, many funny Zarf clips to choose from today, but we always like it when he-she evades those out to capture him. It gives actor Jeffrey Carlson the opportunity to show off those Juilliard dance moves he so rarely gets to use. And — spoiler alert — if you’re wondering “what’s in the vials”… hint: It rhymes with “we’re obsessed-rogen.”

What’s Wrong With This Picture: Piven It Up



Above, a photo of Jeremy Piven and “Guest”. What’s Wrong With This Picture:
1. Who is that blonde woman, and in what ditch did she shove Jeremy Piven’s mother?
2. That’s no guest, that’s Melrose from America’s Next Top Model.
3. What the hell is Jeremy Piven doing with Melrose? And really, people, who is winning here?
4. I mean, on the one hand, Piven’s a tiny little guy and the captain of the his own smarmy, but then again, she’s just a reality show contestant — and not even the winner. Though, full disclozhe, it was a modeling reality show
5. Speaking of which, is Piven in heels? Because we clearly recall passing him on a New York street (dressed in a Che Guevara hat no less) and he barely came up to our bellybutton implant scar. In the meantown, Melrose and him are the same height. I call lifts.
6. Does he have any idea how annoying and insane this woman is?
7. They were seen making out all night.
8. They deserve each other.
9. All of the above.



We always suspected thatRosie O’Donnell was an Around The Way Girl. Well, now we have definitive proof.

Is it just me, or does that clip kinda make you like Rosie a little bit more? She just won me over.

PROPPED: Littler Superstar


Since it’s been way too long since we’ve laughed at a little person dancing on YouTube, we think it’s time to Prop this video that was Dropped by oomsadotcome. It’s Little Superstar meets Tom Cruise… and it’s awesome.

Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

CAPTION THIS: The Missing Link



After eating the entire Legend of Zelda inspired cupcake-cake, the birthday girl was immediately forced to play 500 consecutive hours of Wii Sports to work it off.

Your turn. Leave your Captions in the Comments now. And for more pictures, click here. (Link link via our pal Sophie)

Butter-Faced MILF Fans: Real Housewives 2 Airs Tonight


REALHOSUEWIVES.JPGIf you looked up guilty pleasures in our dictionary, you would find three things: 1. Dressing up a pug like a British schoolchild; 2. Chinchilla thongs; and 3. Bravo fake-ality show The Real Housewives of Orange C*nty — County! County, sorry. We can’t explain why, but there is an addictive quality to this show that is not unlike our future addiction to botox and laser resurfacing. If you’ve never seen it, fear not: The second season begins tonight, and trust us, the only thing you need to know is that most of these women are wealthy, and most of them are despicable mothers. Take Lauri for example (Skeletor, left) whose daughter is a spoiled b*tch and whose son spent months in a juvenile detention center while mom demanded her olives be stuffed with blue cheese. (We’ll let you decide if that’s a euphemism for something.)

Then you have your dysfunctional engaged couple, the 24-year-old Jo and her fiance, a man named SLADE SMILEY. SLADE. SMILEY. Or Jeanie, a chubby former Playboy model whose kids are the essence of everything and everyone we hate – except for the 14-year-old stutterer, who we truly feel for. We could go on and on about the highs and lows of this show, but this review sums up the entire show nicely — you really need to see it for yourself to realize how awesome it is to not be incredibly wealthy and/or Re Re Ricardo.

ICYMI: Prince Had Something Better To Do


When you’re little, talented, ambiguous and purple, people can’t just ASSUME you’re going to show up every time they want to hand you an award. There’s a good chance you’ll be too busy… or too purple… to make an appearance. It’s an occupational hazard. So don’t blame Prince for standing up the the folks at the Golden Globes (and Justin Timberlake) last night. He was just too busy being purple somewhere else. And that ain’t easy.

Nice save JT! Do you think this was the best moment of the night? If not– what was?

LISTEN UP: Mp3′s ‘R’ Good Enough


  • Python Eats Alligator For Breakfast has a brand new Ted Leo + Pharmacists track off his upcoming CD. Stop smirking at the name of the blog and go download it ASAP.
  • Indie Mp3 thinks The Postmarks are going places in 2007. I trust them.
  • Tha Bomb Shelter posted 3 tracks off the new Shins album today. Mentally prepare yourself for next week’s release by listening to them now.
  • I can’t get enough of the song “Secret Identity” by How I Became The Bomb. Cable & Tweed has the mp3, as well as another song by this band that’s destined to break out.
  • And finally, The Lost Turntable has not one, but TWO versions of Cyndi Lauper’s classic “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough.” If you have no desire to download them, I’ve given up on you.

That Jack Bauer Is Such A Doll


bauerdoll.JPGI stopped playing with dolls when I was a little kid (after my mom informed me that Barbie doesn’t like to be touched “there”), so I don’t get pumped up about action figures all too often. But when Todd McFarlane of McFarlane toys declares “Jack Bauer is our Batman” and announces he’ll be producing a Jack Bauer doll by August, who doesn’t get excited?

The action figure will showcase the character in a bulletproof vest with his gun raised and will sell for $10 – $12. In the future, the figures will have Bauer “pouncing, diving and running” and another Bauer seen kicking down a door will be released during the Christmas holidays.

That’s a good start, but I’m gonna need more than pouncing, diving and running. I want Jack torturing people with household appliances, eating terrorists’ throats and shooting his good friends in the neck. That’s the Jack we all know and love.

But I still can’t wait until these dolls come out. If, for no other reason, than to see how quickly somebody produces a YouTube re-enactment of the Kiefer Sutherland Christmas tree incident.

VIDEO HITS ONE: The Affair, “Honey”


Excuse me while I put on my Stereogum hat for just a moment and attempt to introduce you to a band that you may not have heard of yet. Their name is The Affair, they have an album “dropping” (as they say in the industry) next week, and today they just so happen to be Spin’s Artist of the Day. Check out this video for their song “Honey”, then head over to Spin to download another mp3.

Now, if I was a respected journalist or a music blogger I’d take a second to mention that I’m good friends with these people (and I’d probably start by saying, “In the interest of full disclosure, blah blah blah blah.) Thankfully I’m not respected and just barely a blogger, so I should be all good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to remove my Stereogum hat and go back to listening to my old Toad The Wet Sprocket CD. Don’t judge me.