The Office: Dr. Crentist Will See You Now

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DWIGHTSHRUTE.JPGLast night’s episode of The Office was ground-breaking. It proved that the writers, along with Steve Carell, have finally created the quintessential douchiest (and somehow likeable) character on television past and present. And it all happened when these four words were uttered: “Hug It Out, Bitch.” The famous line uttered by Ari Gold on Entourage, the line that has defined douchey men for the past two years now. Round of applause for the attention to Massengil detail, writers.

Three episodes into season three, the storylines are blossoming. Jim has a new love interest in Scranton, Karen (played by the daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton, Rashida), who is kind of like a Pam 3000 — sophisticated, sexy but not without a sense of humor. Is JAM not meant to be? And Dwight and Michael had their first real breakdown of power last night. Their Peanut M&M showdown made us crave chocolate and conflict and dental insurance.

And, our usual reminder, peruse the generous deleted scenes on NBC.com. Thoughts on the episode or the season as a whole? Funny, Bad, or Building?

ICYMI: Bushes Stick Together!

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When somebody calls your son “the devil”, how do you respond? Well, if you’re former President George H.W. Bush, you go on Larry King Live and call him an “ass”. Oh snap! I’d be careful though, guys. Men have fought wars for less. Much… much less.

Get Your Foleys Straight!

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If there’s one thing douchebag Republican Congressman pedophile Mark Foley has taught us, it’s the importance of having the correct information, lest an innocent person (or an entire political party) have their reputation soiled by a scandal in which they actually played no part. So to clarify this confusing realm of politicians turned cybersex offenders, we’ve created the fun new game: Get Your Foleys Straight!

Christian Finnegan’s Tower of Hubris

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Christian Finnegan’s blog is a must-read. This week, during the height of the Mark Foley controversy prank-gone-awry, he was able to put everything in perspective, reminding us that Mr. Foley’s actions aren’t all that bad when compared to the actions of other current House members.

finnegan.jpgCURRENT HOUSE MEMBERS WITH SKELETONS MORE DISTURBING THAN MARK FOLEY’S

REP. KEN CALVERT (CA, 44th Dist.): Recently caught masturbating at the Vietnam Memorial.
REP. LANE EVANS (IL, 17th Dist.): Plays online Scrabble with Ayman Al-Zawahiri.
REP. VERNON J. EHLERS (MI, 3rd Dist.): In 1987, had one-nighter with Terri Schiavo. Never called.

To read the rest of the entry, click here.

While You Were Starting a Page Program…

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SNEAK PEAK: Paul F. Tompkins Visits the Future

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Take a look at Best Week Ever‘s resident technology expert Paul F. Tompkins, as he meets n’ greets the kabillionaires of tomorrow at the 2006 Wired NextFest. You can catch more footage of this and more on Friday’s new episode of Best Week Ever at 11 pm ET!

…Of The Day

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  • FOOL WORTH PITYING: Anybody who doesn’t watch Mr. T’s new show, currently available at Yahoo TV. (Pop Candy)
  • JOKE: Knock knock. Who’s there? Mark Foley. Mark Foley who? Mark Foley, who’s filthy instant messages were nothing more than a prank gone awry, that’s who! Get it? Neither do we. (Drudge Report)
  • LOST & FOUND: Was there more to last night’s episode of Lost than 5 awesome minutes? Paul digs deeper. (Paul Scheer)
  • ALIAS: Clinton Portis, the NFL’s most exciting rusher (off the field) is back to dressing up during press conferences. Today he introduced Dolamite Jenkins. (Deadspin)
  • FUN FACT: How did the Killers become the Killers? Jimmy Kimmel found out last night. (Tubewad, via Gorillamask)

Prepare 2 B Scarred: Travolta & Co. Nakies in Lake

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1MARTINTIM2.JPGThe image you see to your left is a picture of William H. Macy‘s ass. It was taken during a wet and wild photoshoot for the upcoming film Wild Hogs. Why did we choose to only post this tiny 70×44 pixel photo of Bill Macy’s ass? Well, let’s put it this way. The photoshoot consisted of John Travolta squeezing his sizeable man breasts together, Macy fingercombing his crotch hair, Travolta in an open robe and black briefs, and one picture that looks as if Martin Lawrence is reaming an undeniably pleased Tim Allen (cue Home Improvement caveman noise). In other words, this little picture of William H. Macy’s ass is by far the most appetizing thing you will see if you are brave enough to click here for the rest.

OK, Fine, Go There… & Other 90′s Slang

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KRISSKROSS.JPGA couple of years ago, it became cool to talk about the 80′s, to reminisce about Saturday morning cartoons and t-shirt clips and Family Ties. But all the while, another decade looked on, the mere middle child, ignored, uncool, unloved: The 90′s. But maybe it’s about time we started paying more attention to this neglected decade. Fark points us to a Glossary of 90s Slang, and while it’s borderline TMI, find some heady nuggets, quit icin’ those grills, get blazed, and take a look. Some of the terms never made their way into our ear canals (“Whatever You Reckon” sounds more like slang from the 1890′s). But after a quick perusal, we can honestly pray that 90′s culture doesn’t get hip until at least 2021, when a metal robot is sent back from the future to save the world from nuclear holocaust, making Hasta La Vista even more ironic/deadly.