…Of The Day

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  • SCANDAL IN A SCANDAL: What? Perez Hilton isn’t reporting on the most recent Paris Hilton scandal? That would probably be scandalous if it wasn’t so… lame. (Celebitchy)
  • MEATWAD: Aqua Teen Hunger Force the movie, coming soon. (Adult Swim)
  • (WO)MAN’S BEST FRIEND: Lucky for Paula Abdul, her dog doubles as a paparazzi deterrent. (CityRag)
  • SUICIDE SPOT: A Swiss ski resort has named a ski lift after James Blunt. If that doesn’t make you want to jump, I don’t know what will. (FemaleFirst)
  • WORD: He’s black– he’s a hipster– he’s a Blipster! I wonder which celebrity is going to misuse it and have to go to rehab first. (The Modern Age)

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: I’m Not As Bark As You Growl I Am

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Beer for dogs! From where else? The Netherlands, where we assume they also have “Puppy Pot”, which is actually just lawn grass stuffed into a snausage. In the meantime, this is the perfect way to get lil’ Fido into bed with you when he’s “not in the mood.”

How Many Things Are Wrong with This Picture?

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We are overwhelmed with the amount of things that are so, so wrong with this picture taken of Britney Spears, and feel it is our duty to list them out one by one. (Deep breath) Here goes:
1. There’s something to be said about mixing patterns; there’s a whole other thing to be screamed about combining various silk-screened prints of gold chains.
2. Especially when worn with mardi gras beads.
3. It appears as if she is clutching make-up bags given away by Clinique.
4. She is smoking mentholated cigarettes.
5. And drinking Red Bull.
6. She is starting to develop Howdy Doody mouth lines.
7. Her pants are too big.
8. They are also red and made of velour.
9. Her assistant has Luke Perry jean-holes.
10. And, we are guessing, killer cameltoe.

But the worst, the WORST, thing about this photo?

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She is feeding her chihuahua Red Bull. While it attempts to escape from his doggie sweater. OK, so not really, but the proximity of the can hole to the dog’s face taken together with his panicked expression led us to only one concloozh.

Can we please, please, get her children/dog away from her death clutch, please?

Also, feel free to let us know if we missed anything in the above picture. Honestly, we were hypnotized by little doggie feet.

AD WIZARDS: Tommy Lee Jones Looks Thrilled To Be Shilling For Some Japanese Coffee Drink

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A lot of American movie stars earn a little extra coin by appearing in Japanese television commercials (think Bill Murray in Lost In Translation). But while some of them just phone it in for the paycheck, Tommy Lee Jones, a consummate professional, turns in a harrowing performance as a man who seems to utterly hate himself for selling out so shamefully. Notice every nuance of steely-faced self-loathing in the midst of the incoherent Japanese chaos surrounding him. One imagines Jones just sat there, miserable, for take after take, refusing to move so much as a muscle fiber in his famous face for the million bucks he was probably paid for this. Or maybe he was just having a REALLY relaxing time with his Suntory Times.

Is It April 2nd Yet?

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right-said-fred_2004.jpgThe world has changed a lot over the past 16 years. The fall of the twin towers, the rise of the internet, the loss of Princess Di, the birth of Dakota Fanning, the end of Saved By The Bell, the beginning of reality TV and oh so much more. The point is, there’s a plethora of new things that Right Said Fred are too sexy for, which is why it makes perfect sense for the duo to re-release “I’m Too Sexy” on April 2nd this year. From Gigwise:

Although they’ve never really been away, playing Gay clubs across the globe, thanks to being plugged on a popular soap powder commercial, the brothers Fairbass are re-releasing their 1991 classic ‘I’m Too Sexy.’

The track hits the shelves on April 2 through Tug Records – the same label who originally released the track when it stayed at number one for six weeks.

I can’t wait to hear the updated version. I hope they raise the bar a bit. By now we’re all completely aware that they’re too sexy for their shirts, their chairs, their love, etc. But are they too sexy for their blogs, their Segways and their Ugg boots? I guess we’ll know the answer in three months. I’ll be counting down the days.

Link via Idolator. For the original “I’m Too Sexy” video, click below.

Read more…

K-Fed Superbowl Commercial as Catchy as His Diseases

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It’s here! It’s finally here!! The Superbowl commercial punchline that was given away last week is now ready and begging for your perusal! If you area’t aware, Nationwide (“is on your siiide”) cast Kevin Federline in their Superbowl ad to play a delusional fast food fry cook. We would love to sit here and say that this commercial sucks, that we sat stone-faced, stoic, still… but for some reason the line “If you need a dolla, holla, cause I got a whooooole staaaack” makes one corner of our mouths go up, like, a degree. Loop this bastard 4 times in a row, and agree that it’s better than PopoZao. (via Popsugar)

AD WIZARDS: Tana From The Apprentice Still Bedazzling Us With Her Marketing Savvy

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You might remember Tana as the runner-up from season 2 of The Apprentice, but the chances are you do not. Well, being that she appeared on “National Television”, from time to time Tana is called upon by various snake oil salesmen to hawk their wares in the wonderful world of TV infomercials. I bet The Donald is really regretting his decision to pass over this Business Women, and what might have been his only chance to break into the dynamic market for clothing with fake jewelry stuck onto it.

(via ONTD)

LISTEN UP: Where Everybody Knows Your Name

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  • Do you love “My Love” but hate having Justin Timberlake on your iPod? Then download the Klaxons cover from Zeon’s Music Blog. It’s *almost* as good.
  • Head over to Speed of Dark and check out Dearborn ASAP. That’s rock and roll.
  • Speaking of rock & roll, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club have a new album coming out in May. The Music Slut posted “Whatever Happened To My Rock & Roll” to get you excited.
  • Love the Cheers theme song but wish it rocked a little bit harder? Then download the Wedding Present’s cover of it over at BadmintonStamps.
  • And finally, one last cover. Rock Music Daily has Pearl Jam’s awesome version of Otis Redding’s “Dock Of The Bay.”