If you’ve ever wondered what it might sound like inside the batty brain of Michael Jackson, I would say it’s one part Hunter S. Thompson on a 4 day ether binge, one part Blue’s Clues, one part Liz Taylor and one part scary boat ride from the original Willy Wonka movie. Watch this red carpet arrival footage from last night’s World Music Awards to see what I’m talking about.
If you’ve noticed a hop in your step, an increase in whistling, a craving for all things cinnamoned, no need to panic. It’s the week before Thanksgiving, our favorite time of the year, the week when all things Christmas are shoved right into our faces. And it’s a precious time — for about 7 days, you forget that you’ll be hearing/watching/smelling Christmas for the next month straight, and you actually can enjoy it for a second without crying mint-flavored blood tears. Keeping this in mind, click here to see a hilarious teaser trailer for Fred Clause, possibly the only Xmas movie we’re jazzed about. It stars Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti as “The Clause Brothers”, and a psychotically star-powered cast. It’s like Wedding Crashers — in the winter! And the best part? (laughing) It’s coming out in November… of 2007! Hahahah! (sobbing) WE CAN’T WAIT!!!
It’s hard not to crack up while you watch this clip of Robin Williams rocking a variety of his world famous impressions* on The Ellen Degeneres Show yesterday. Whether it’s with him or at him, I guarantee you’re going to laugh. See for yourself.
*impressions, racist stereotypes… whatever, it’s all the same.
- Tyra Banks held her much anticipated “Paaanty Paaaarty!!!” yesterday, and here is one thing we learned: Changing lingerie while wearing a nude bodystocking is incredibly disturbing. If you missed it, no sweat. Today she’s has on Ultra-Sexy Meth Addict “Maaake-Oooooversss!!!”
- Our favorite showdown might be the 6-year grudge Jeremy Piven holds against Jack Black for beating him out for that hilarious role in High Fidelity. Oh, and also, you know Jack Black’s got most of his natural hair… that’s gotta sting.
- Whitney Houston‘s $6 million New Jersey estate is being handed over to the state, after she failed to pay over $1 million in taxes. Her cries of “Don’t make me close one more door!” fell on deaf ears.
- A Lakers fan is suing Kobe Bryant for intentionally elbowing him in the stands last year, and wants a $75,000 apology. It’s not so much that he got shoved, but that it was done without consent.
- Listen, if you were Rachael Ray‘s husband, you’d also have a debilitating addiction to sex and drugs. And earplugs. And mime nooses.
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, November 15th! Lang Fisher is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Next Top Model, Dancing With the Stars, Daybreak, and BET Hip Hop Awards!
- BAD DAY: Perez Hilton gets served, denied, then is forced to listen to that Daniel Powter song on repeat for a few hours. (Gawker)
- LESS DIRTY DOZEN: Britney removed the message urging fans to buy Kevin’s new album from her MySpace page. And she took him off her Top 12. There’s no coming back from that. (Faded Youth)
- ADAM SANDLER HOMAGE: Michael Scott & Dwight Schrute make “The Hanukkah Song” their very own on The Office. (Gorillamask)
- STAR SWAPS: If you needed another reason to dislike James Blunt, just take a look at this– he bears a striking resemblance to a certain Scientologist. Oh, and he’s absolutely terrible.(Cityrag)
- RUSSIAN ROULETTE: Even if you make it out of a relationship with Lindsay Lohan STD-free, you still shouldn’t press your luck by hooking up with Paris. (IDLYITW)
Hey Pete Wentz, I know that being a whiny emo mall-punk rocker means wearing guyliner, ironic t-shirts and various other mismatched articles of clothing you purchased at ridiculous prices under the misconception that “vintage” (another way of saying used) means “edgy”, but dude, if you’re going to rock girls’ jeans to make sure your legs are the skinniest thing at the anorexic model coke party, don’t tell the press about it:
E!: “Are you sharing jeans with Ashlee Simpson?”
Pete Wentz: “We would definitely share jeansâ€¦we’re just buddies, though”
Hear that, aspiring totally edgy indie rockers? If you want to be “real” and “street”, the Mick Jagger Huskies aren’t gonna cut it. You’re going to need to get yourselves some straight up Simpson Sister spandex leggings, or else your music won’t mean sh*t, and you’ll never get to be the Daily Douche.
I know… shocking!!! Don’t believe us? Have Bob Saget sing it to you himself, to the tune of “I Want It That Way”. No, really, listen. Any fan of Full House needs to hear it. Seriously. He talks about Kimmy Gibbler sex. Shudder.
(via eagle-eyed posters at ONTD)
The only real news about Katie Holmes’ upcoming betrothal to Tom Cruise and his Love Cult that is coming out of Italy is the news that the media actually creates itself out of a desperate need to cover something that has been meticulously designed to be a private affair. So when CBS’s The Insider told us to visit Italian-Weddings.com to get a better gander at the wedding castle chosen to mark the spot of this most intergalactic of unions, you knows we did that sh*t. But as we gazed fawningly at the wedding slideshow, hoping that we too can someday find a place equally as charming for our own fake marriage, something jumped out at us. Specifically, Kevin Nealon jumped out at us. So this weekend, as you’re getting all wrapped up in the TomKat marriage media circus, just know that the Nealonator boated those waters first.
As shouting at suitcases under the watchful gaze of Howie Mandel is a little too “low brow” for some people, our good friends at ABC have unveiled their latest attempt to up the bar of what we can expect from prime time TV game shows (a bar that is already set pretty high). So what CAN we expect? How about The Shat, a SUPER stoked gay guy, maniacal screaming, unnecessary dancing, awkward banter and a whole team of clueless showgirls who seem to have no idea what they’re doing there, all combined with the artful precision of a master composer to create a symphony of mind-blowing game show awesomeness.