…OF THE DAY

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  • RUBBERNECKERS: Now there’s shocking footage of the car wreck that didn’t hurt Nicole Kidman but injured eight non-famous people who do not matter. (TMZ)
  • DREAM I HAVE: That one day we will live in a land where idiotic redneck frat people don’t feel the need to dress up in racist costumes and post pictues of themselves on the Internet. (The Smoking Gun)
  • TIME TRAVELING 18TH CENTURY PIMP: The Archduke. This guy’s funny is a GOOOOOOOOOOAL! (SuperDeluxe)
  • LOHANVOLUTION MESSAGE: Our Adequite Leader Lindsay Lohan is “safe and happy” within the enemy rehabilitative compound called Wonderland, but those of us faithful in the movement know she’s just planning her next move. (People)
  • LESSON: Some sex offenders actually look like 12 year-olds. (CNN)

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: Family Feud Writers Lose Their Minds

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Every afternoon, I take 45 seconds out of my day to watch the Family Feud final round, where two family members are asked 5 questions (separately) in order to win $20,000. Today… today was a genuine treat. Meet today’s contestant Robert, who was on the unlucky end of some of the most ridiculous Family Feud questions we’ve ever heard. Kudos to John O’Hurley for keeping his hosty baritone in check and not dropping dead laughing. Watch the clip, and then reenact it for friends! We’ve gotta go saddle our bird up, it’s almost quittin’ time.

ICYMI: The Lighter Side of Bloodshed

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Hat tip to Gawker for catching this hilarious series of unfortunate events that took place on Today, where action news guy David Gregory is trying to fill Matt Lauer’s sockless loafers while his royal glibness takes a few days away from the tube. It’s a smorgasborg of TV talk show awkwardness, but the best part is undoubtedly Gregory’s cringe-inducing “on a lighter note” segue into a segment about someone getting murdered.

ZARF’S FINAL WORD: Is That a Bluebird On Your Shoulder?

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Oh thank you, God up in heaven, for this delightful Faberge egg of musical beauty, a melody sung by our beloved Zarf which tickles the tiny hairs in the back of our throat with its Aladdin-like sensbility. This man’s talents are endless, and we are literally… falling… in love.

Stay tuned, people. We have big Zarf news comin’ atcha!

ICYMI: When Boy Bands With Tattoos Fight On Video, The Only Person Who Wins Is You

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This video might be vintage, but I haven’t seen it before and it’s too funny not to post. After total badass-on-badass violence erupts between Good Charlotte lead singer Joel Madden and Crazy Town lead singer “Shifty Shellshock” (is he also a villain from Scooby-Doo?) backstage at some terrible party, KROQ’s wacky radio DJ with a fauxhawk is left completely baffled, yet cannot resist throwing in one of his patented “gay sex” knee-slappers. General hilarity ensues.

(via ONTD)

CAPTION THIS: Cameron Let That Go?

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In roughly 10 years, it seems the only place you’ll be able to go and remain Justin Timberlake free will be your local museum.

No, literally, we know this caption is lame. We were won over by that adorable expression! Take 5 seconds of your day to outsmart us in the comments.

LISTEN UP: Van Hell Yeah

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  • Culture Bully puts on their metal face and gets pumped for the possible Van Halen reuinion by posting a few VH classics.
  • Neiles Life finds The Go Find and goes crazy for them despite their having a name that gets awfully close to The Go! Team. Go!
  • The Music Slut bears some bad news about Stroke-gone-solo Albert Hammond Jr., but makes us feel better by posting one of his catchy songs.
  • A new Of Montreal track sends Fluxblog into deep introspective contemplation.
  • Berkleyplace has a bunch of demos and covers from Editors.

TOP CHEF INDIGESTION: Bullsh*t Tenderloin Topped With An Unfairness Foam Flambe

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Unlike my culinarily challenged co-worker Michelle (she’s a Project Runway Person), I was not particularly pleased with the outcome of last night’s shocking first part of this season’s Top Chef finale. Despite not wanting to like Sam (I simply can’t trust a man who wears rings on his thumb), he was clearly the most talented chef on the show, and that’s what naming someone “Top Chef” should be about. The problem with last night’s outcome is that, like almost every other so-called “skill-based” reality show, it is indicative of a decion on the producers’ part to cynically manipulate the show into a competition of personality rather than skill.

Marcel – all of his mindblowing douchebaggery aside – didn’t even deserve to be in the Top Six, much less the Final Two, when you consider actual culinary ability. However, as his personality (Or personality disorder, as it were – I suspect Asperger’s Syndrome.) has consistently created conflicts with the other chefs, he makes for better television (read: ratings), and the producers CLEARLY wanted the finale to be a “Team Ilan vs. Team Marcel” battle that viewers could choose sides on.

But in reality, the finale should obviously have featured the less sensational showdown between buddies Ilan and Sam. Elia, while mostly likeable, was way out of her league. And Marcel!?! This is a person who called chunks of fruit “Watermelon Steaks” and whose masturbatory love of Iron Chef-esque “neo cuisine” has instilled in him a compulsive need to turn every dish into some kind of pretentious chemical experiment with foam on top.

Read more…

The Original MILF: Estelle Getty

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We have a pretty horrible feeling that today will be dominated by lewd sexual innuendos inspired by the elderly. First, we were greeted by this article in UK’s The Sun featuring topless photos of this year’s Oscar nominees, courtesy of the tit-ectives at Defamer. It’s both NSFW as well as NSFSMWAETOBOW (not safe for straight men who are easily turned off by old women). Then, we were sent this video of original MILF Estelle Getty working out to Beyonce‘s “Check On It.” Somewhere, Dorothy Zbornak is in a silk pantsuit, raising a fist towards her terracotta’d roof yelling “Maaaa!”

(Sent to us by a Golden Girl loving friend at LOGO)

For those of you who still yearning for more Getty images, check out The Golden Girls doing Clueless, courtesy of Webjunk.tv, after the jump.

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