Forget Suri, forget Shiloh and forget the latest “SPF”-initialed future therapy patient Britney and K-Fed crapped out this month – Tinseltown’s newest bundle of joy is wrapped in Urban Outfitters’ finest Diesel swaddling, which is only befitting of a baby girl whose parents are super hipster indie actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard (double-voweled surnames are the new trucker hats). And you’ll be happy to know that your friends here at BWE have once again turned to our shady network of famous offspring operatives to acquire the very first picture (which has just been sold to VICE Magazine for $50, a pack of Parliaments, and a baggie of pills) of this future indie superstarlet. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our distinct honor to introduce you to Ramonaa Kierkegaard Gyllenhaal Sarsgaard. See her very first picture after the jump – and our sincere congrats to the happy couple!
Fleshbot discovered that the folks over at Gay.com have unearthed some footage from 1997 of Las Vegas’ Josh Duhamel beating Chris Ashton Kutcher for Male Model of The Year. This video has it all: funny hair, ridiculous outfits, and a Hansel-esque dig by Duhamel about poor little Ashton. “The guy… I forget his name from Iowa, was exceptional.” Sadly, the segment ends before Ashton tells Josh that he can dere-lick his balls.
How could a cable news network possibly be expected to fit something so outrageously embarassing as a Republican Congressman caught having dirty cybersex with teenage boys into their shamelessly conservative agenda? Make the pervert a Democrat, of course! Yes, on last night’s episode of The “Oh, Really?” Factor, Rep. Mark Foley was labeled “D” for “Democrat” on THREE seperate screen shots. Was this just poor fact-checking on the part of our fair and balanced friends, or did the “D” actually stand for Disgusting Douchebag Republican? Be sure to tune in tonight for Bill’s hard-hitting expose, “Amish Killer: Best Friend of the Clintons”
Could confessed alcoholic and amateur Jew-hater Mel Gibson actually be drinking in public again? Sure, it all starts with a cold brewski at a Texas BBQ joint. But next thing you know, synagogues are getting bombed, people are hiding out in attics to avoid being sent to special “work camps”, and an entire race of people is being systematically eradicated from the planet. If Hitler taught us anything, it is that Mel Gibson should not be allowed access to adult beverages, even ones as seemingly harmless as beer. You get enough of those things in the wrong Holocaust-denying Anti-Semite and you’ve got yourself some real trouble, mister.
They’re bitter enemies, feuding famous people, sparring starlets. They insult each other in the press and they confront each other at clubs. They flat out don’t like one another. They’re Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, and they are… remarkably alike, actually. So much so, that they’re hard to tell apart. Here’s a quiz to test your knowledge on Paris & Lindsay. Do you know which party fiend did what? Post your results in the comments (for the record, I went 9/10. I’m incredibly saddened by this. I need a hobby.)
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According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston have broken up again, which is approximately the 57,821st time the unhappy couple has decided to part ways (not including their onscreen split while co-starring in The Break Up together) in the course of their year-and-some-change long relationship. Here’s what the venerable tabloid rag had to say about it:
After weeks of distance both emotional and real, the relationship ax fell the week of September 9 for Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. A source close to Vaughn tells Us that the split happened just before the actor left for London to begin work on his holiday comedy, Joe Clause. â€œItâ€™s not common knowledge, but weâ€™re not together anymore,â€ Vaughn told the insider September 13, adding that they solidified the breakup in a long phone conversation. â€œWeâ€™ve split up.â€ Confirms an Aniston pal: â€œTheyâ€™re 100 percent done.â€
From the mouth of babes, folks. They’re over until they get back together again.
Everyone’s favorite smooth-dancing, adult-slapping, chipmunk-esque Little Superstar is back, and he’s fighting again – this time in a tree! If you’re as curious as we were about where in the hell a tiny man of such beauty could possibly come from, these clips were taken from a Tamil movie called “Adhisayappiravi” (say that 3 times fast), and Little Superstar’s actual name is “Thavakalai”, which means “Frog”. BONUS: Yet another fight scene is available after the jump (Little Superstar is apparently the Chuck Norris of South Asian action films)!
- Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both filed police reports early this morning; each celebrity claiming they were assaulted. Shanna allegedly punched Paris. Stavros Niarchos allegedly poured a drink on Shanna’s head. Castmembers from Dancing With The Stars were alleged witnesses. And Elliot Mintz is already spinning the whole thing. This news story was brought to you by the F-List.
- Nicole Richie has stopped returning Mischa Barton’s phone calls. Nicole swears it’s not personal, she’s just too weak to pick up a telephone these days.
- Lindsay Lohan was spotted at a club in Los Angeles with Keanu Reeves. Whoa!
- Ashlee Simpson denies ever hooking up with Nick Carter. Of course, if you were Ashlee Simpson, wouldn’t you deny hooking up with Nick Carter too?
- Donald Trump thinks Brad’s Pitt’s vow not to marry Angelina Jolie until same-sex marriage is legal was a crafty maneuever in an attempt to remain a bachelor… proving once and for all, Donald Trump is a sleazebag.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, October 3rd! Adira is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Dancing With the Stars, Friday Night Lights and True Life: Meth Addicts!
Read an interview Gothamist did with Adira here.
- NEW FRIENDS: Meet Screech’s sex-tape partners. Their faces are blurred, which is unfortunate, but not nearly as unfortunate as leaving Screech’s face unblurred. (TMZ)
- REASON TO LIVE: Terrell Owens has really been through a lot lately… but judging by what Philly fans are going to throw at him next week, it’s only just the beginning. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
- RETIREMENT PLAN: Brad and Angelina have hired David Beckham as Maddox’s private soccer coach. He must need the money. (Daily Mail)
- PROVE IT: Jessica Alba has been named the “most kissable” celebrity. We challenge her to prove it. (Hollywoodtuna)
- WONDERLAND: Jessica Simpson’s body, which John Mayer may or may not be exploring. (A Socialite’s Life)