Aw.. They Can Adopt a New Third-World Ringbearer

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Well, it’s finally here, the wedding you had previously all been waiting for until you decided you didn’t really care anymore: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They plan to wed in Africa, in a small village outside of Johannesburg, and don’t think of the wedding so much as a traditional wedding but more of a spiritual affirmation. We think of it as Shiloh‘s Partial Debastardization. This will be the third marriage for Jolie, who spent her previous two marriages tattooing the names of her “eternal loves” Billy Bob Thornton and Johnny Lee Miller across her body. Brad, who’s pocking in at a whopping 43-years of age, only has so many years left on his “hottest man alive” moniker (approx. 35 more years left, to be exact), so we’re glad to see he’s finally settling down before the classic “he-used-to-be-so-hot’s” ring in.

And side note: Oprah is actually invited to this one! We’re sure she’ll give the happy couple a (screamed like Oprah) Reallllly Expensiiiive Preseeeent!!!!

PROPPED: Go Elf Yourself

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elf mel.JPGI feel bad for our parents.

Because not only did they grow up in a world without cell phones, plasma screens and Nintendo Wii, but they also grew up in a world without an internet. So they never got to experience online crushes, stalking people on MySpace or Googling ex-lovers. They never had to say “thanks for the add” or “why did you block me?” They never wrestled over whether to update their profile status to “In A Relationship” and they never emailed their favorite music bloggers to thank them for a great mp3. But perhaps the saddest thing of all… they never experienced the joy of taking a picture, putting it on the head of an elf and then watching it dance around like a maniac.

Sillyolblair dropped a link to Elf Yourself, OfficeMax’s holiday gift to the world. Go have fun. I totally elf’d the s**t out of Mel Gibson. Check it out here.

Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

LISTEN UP: The Most Amazing Year End List Period.

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  • Block a good 4 hours from your work schedule today to peruse The Late Great‘s Top 2006 Songs from 2006. Our freshly brushed obsesive-compulsive hats off to the compiler of said insanity.
  • Merry Swankster brings you a taste of the Bristol music scene with the as-of-yet unknown band You & The Atom Bomb.
  • FLASHBACK FRIDAY! The Toms’ “I Wanna Be A Teen Again” at The Poor Ditching Boy will do for today.
  • No, The Besnard Lakes have absolutely nothing in common with The Barenaked Ladies (except for all the same letters in their name), but Idolator swears you’ll still like them.
  • Set the mood right this weekend by playing Asobi Seksu‘s “Strawberries” on your stereo real loud. Hear/translate them at Metro Distortion.
  • Finally, spend this weekend getting comfortable with one of Minneapolis’ hottest indie bands, Coach Said Not To, over at Collecting Mass.

WEST COAST READERS ALERT! Tori Spelling’s Garage Sale Starts Now!

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TORISPELLING.JPGWest Coast Readers, this one goes out to you: Tori Spelling‘s garage sale, her down-to-earth way of telling America that her Mom really screwed her over, is beginning right now! That’s right, at 9 am, Tori will get out her jewel-encrusted folding tables and lay out some of the finest clothing, accessories and home decor that 1997 had ever seen. Says the ex-trust-funder:

I’m having the sale because we’re moving and my taste has changed.

TRANSLATION: “Sure, 3 years ago a 12-piece chinchilla couch with crocodile feet seemed like a really tasteful way to spice up a living room. But, since my dad died, I realized it’s a little tacky… plus, Ikea’s having a sale.”

I’m a notorious pack rat; I keep everything.

TRANSLATION: “That Peach Pit leather bomber jacket is only $12.99.”

And I wanted to get organized before the baby arrives.

TRANSLATION: “Do you have any idea how much diapers cost?”

So this seemed the perfect time to clean house. It feels good!

TRANSLATION: “Life has never been more dire.”

If you do happen to stop by the sale, send in your purchases/pics to info@bwe.tv.