BWE Presents: Zach Braff’s Apocalypto

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We’ve all seen the trailer for Mel Gibson‘s Apocalypto, and we’re not quite sold on it. We think it would have been a lot better off if it had that famous Zach Braff touch… like this.

LISTEN UP: This Is Hardcore

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  • A song off Camera Obscura’s new album will be featured on Grey’s Anatomy tonight. Skatterbrain has the mp3 posted right now… you know, just in case you need to prepare yourself emotionally.
  • Snakes On A Blog has pretty darn good songs today, including tracks by Karen O, Thom Yorke, Loose Fur and more.
  • Instrumental Analysis is celebrating yet another Throwback Thursday with a bunch of tracks from The Psychadelic Furs.
  • Berkeley Place runs through the alphabet, offering up a ton of tracks by Snow Patrol and The Reindeer Section.
  • And finally, Fluxblog has a brand new track by Jarvis Cocker, as well as a couple of songs by the Basement Jaxx. Enjoy.

ICYMI: Keep Dreaming Of A Better World

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Today AdRants directed us over to this commercial for Che Magazine. I’m not sure if the ad is effective in making a person want to purchase the mag, however it definitely makes the idea of female tennis players exchanging their shirts after matches sound appealing. Come on, if it’s good enough for male soccer players, why not female tennis players? It’s a double standard and it’s not fair. Let’s make this happen.

ICYMI: Greatest Celebrity Smackdowns

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In light of yesterday’s slapfight on the Grey’s Anatomy set, our friends over at CRACKED posted this now-timely vintage Inside Edition report documenting the greatest celebrity fights ever caught on camera, including the Jim Rome vs. Jim “Christ” Everett Rumble, the Bjork Freakout, and the all-time classic Burt Reynolds vs. Mark Somers Dust-up on David Letterman.

MISTAKES IN CASTING: Man of the Year Edition

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All day yesterday, Man of the Year, the new Robin Williams movie about a talk show host who becomes president, ran ads all over the internets. And every time it we would happen upon it, we would mistake Williams’ face for someone elses. And that’s when it hit us: This movie was horribly miscast! So who should’ve taken over Mork‘s role? It should be obvious…

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TRAILER: Jude Law + Juliette Binoche = Lady Porn

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Fun fact: Director Anthony Minghella is actually the creator of underground secret lady porn. Look at his movies: The English Patient (Ralph Fiennes in bed for 3 hours); The Talented Mr. Ripley (Matt Damon in a speedo, spooning Jude Law‘s corpse in a boat); Cold Mountain (Law and Nicole Kidman dry humping by a fire). His latest film, Breaking and Entering, is no exception. Law is back to his fine-ass brooding form, and Juliette Binoche can simply do no wrong. Watch the following trailer, and for two minutes, pretend the Screech sex tape never happened.

(Ed. Note: We managed to write this entire post without making a single “Jude Law can Break and Enter us any time” joke! Oh, wait… damn.)

CAPTION THIS! I Immediately Regret This Decision

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And suddenly, the Goo Goo Dolls poster on your wall and the Toad The Wet Sprocket CDs in your collection don’t seem nearly as embarrassing, do they?

You can leave your captions in the comments, but I have a bigger concern that needs to be addressed here. Ladies: if you’re hooking up with a guy and he takes off his shirt to reveal a giant tattoo of Adam Duritz from the Counting Crows, how do you react? Seriously. I need to know.

Link via Collegehumor

Project Runway: Something Looks Unseamly

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JEFFSDRESS.JPGLast night was the first half of the always dramatic Project Runway finale, and those of you smart enough to actually skip over spoilers got something of a controversial surprise towards the end. We always love when Tim Gunn visits each designer’s home to opine on their collections and spend time with the famillies (Tim Gunn + Turtle Poop = Billion-dollar Comedy Franchise). Yesterday proved that we might have the wealthiest finalists yet – from Laura‘s huge New York loft/Discovery Zone (“Do places like that exist?” we wondered from the bottom of an Ikea-furnished well) to Michael‘s cozy Atlanta abode to Uli‘s beach retreat and Jeff‘s lovely L.A. townhouse.

But we’re here for the clothes. And while photos surfaced from the Olympus Fashion Week runway shows a few weeks ago, our opinions changed last night upon seeing the garments up close. Laura’s collection delivered no new surprises, other than that hideous green ruffle-coat that belonged on the mother-of-the-bride at some Renaissance Wedding somewhere. The grey-sequined-gown/yellow-belt dress remained the definition of elegance. Uli’s dresses looked less fabulous on the hangers than on the models, and poor, sweet “Braceface” (as Michael insisted he be called) really missed the boat entirely, with a collection better suited for Beyonce at the gynecologist than the real world.

After the jump, our thoughts on the Laura/Jeffrey debacle… and we want to know what you think!

Read more…

SIZZLER: Mickey’s Choo Choo

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goofy minnie.jpgIt looks like Screech isn’t the only celebrity with a sex tape coming out soon.

Some employees over at Disneyland Paris, dressed in full Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, etc. attire, shot a smutty video involving our favorite childhood characters and leaked it onto YouTube. The video has already been pulled, however this article describes a few of the acts: Goofy groping Minnie, Minnie nailing a snowman, Mickey engaging in a threeway– it’s all there. At no point, though, does Mickey stick his finger where the sun don’t shine and then rub it under Minnie’s nose… Screech has cornered the market on that.

Now, while some people may be shocked by this video or by the actions of the Disneyland employees who made it, I think it was a long time coming. When you look at the list of movies that Mickey and Minnie have appeared in, it’s easy to see how this could’ve happened. Just look at these titles.

Mickey’s Steamroller
Barnyard Olympics
The Plowboy
Puppy Love
Bath Day
The Delivery Boy
Mickey’s Choo Choo
Mickey Down Under
Steamboat Willie
Mickey & The Seal
Crazy Over Daisy
Two-Gun Mickey
The Fox Hunt
When The Cat’s Away
Mickey’s Man Friday
Mickey’s Amateurs
Tugboat Mickey
Mickey Plays Papa
Jungle Rhythm
Just Mickey

There’s something for everybody in there. Me, I think I’m going to go out and rent Mickey’s Amateurs tonight. Because the amatuers aren’t nearly as weathered or jaded as the other Disney stars. You know what I’m talking about.

PROPPED: Grind House Preview Action Enema

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If you’re feeling a little sluggish this morning, skip the double mochaccino, turn your volume up, bend over, and prepare to be f*cked by all the sound and fury of this preview trailer for Grind House, the upcoming collaboration between Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. Once your ears stop ringing, you can thank reader Fasthack for dropping this.