SIZZLER: Bush Twins Gone Wild

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It’s been all over the news that the U.S. embassy has asked the Bush twins to leave Argentina. Thanks to this video, we finally know the real reason why.

I’m no conspiracy theorist… but this makes perfect sense! Though I think I’m going to need to see the video. You know. As evidence.

AD WIZARDS: A Christmas Story Goes Corporate

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If there’s one thing we don’t like corporations tinkering with, it’s our beloved childhood memories. So we’re a little conflicted over this Cingular ad, which parodies America’s favorite holiday film A Christmas Story. On the one pink rabbit ear, using beloved scenes to schill for a cell phone company that we know for a fact sucks ruins it a little. On the other ear, it’s a solid remake. Worlds colliding!

Set Your Skivos: Doublemint Skanks to Co-Host Awards?

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PARISBRIT.JPGYou’ve got to hand it to the talent coordinators at the Billboard Music Awards — they might be secret geniuses. Because next week’s normally unwatchable Billboard Awards will switch gears into Can’t Miss Television, when the newly-cemented “Gyno-Flash Posse” Paris Hilton and Britney Spears will don their crotchiest dresses and co-host the show together in Las Vegas, People Magazine revealed yesterday. Watching these two try to make their way through over 200 scrolling teleprompter words over the course of 3 hours sounded like re-re bliss to us. The clouds parted, God stepped out of a car with a short dress on, and sunbeams shot down to earth from his nethers.

But, of course, when something seems too good to be true… you know the rest. Because today, US Magazine reports that Britney Spears will not, in fact, co-host with Paris. Cut to God yanking his skirt over his knees and wonky-eyed frogs raining down from the skies. Paris Hilton hosting alone is about as fun as a 20-Please, Britney, deliver us a Christmas miracle and get your drunk ass on stage stat!

ICYMI: God Bless Jessica Simpson’s Cameltoe

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This nifty little bit of film footage, taken prior to an ironic performance of the song “God Bless America”, prominently places J-Simp’s spandex-clad cooch front and center, right where it belongs, making us want to proudly wave the stars and bars all across this land of ours. Behold…the Camelcrotch!

(via WebJunk)

While You Were Planning Your Journey to Rockefeller Center

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  • Snoop Dogg was arrested for the third time in three months after police found weapons and drugs in his car. They knew something was up when they asked him “what’s your name, fool?” and Snoop failed to break into song.
  • Cameron Diaz says boyfriend Justin Timberlake gets frustrated with her because she’s absolutely flawless. And like, totally totally modest.
  • Michael Richards’ publicist has upset Jewish leaders by claiming that Richards is allowed to use anti-Semetic language in his act because he’s “Jewish by association.” This should work slightly better than last week’s theory that Richards can use th n-word because he’s “black from the waist down.”
  • Human rights organizations will help decide whether Madonna is fit to adopt. She should ace the swimsuit and evening gown portions, but her lawyers are really worried about the talent competiton.
  • On average, people who visit YouTube are older than analysts initally thought. And interestingly enough, way more into underage webcam girls than people half their age.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, November 28th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, November 28th! Mindy Raf is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, House, and My Boys!

You can check out more videos of Mindy HERE.

…Of The Day

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  • NOISY BOB: Clerks director Kevin Smith is apparently a little miffed that Apple wasn’t interested in running his rambling drivel hilarious insights on Anthrax and Sinead O’Connor for their “Celebrity Playlist” section. (Kevin Smith’s Diary)
  • BLACK POWER: Jesse Jackson is calling for a boycott against the latest Seinfeld DVDs, teaching that unemployed actor guy who played Elaine’s dumb boyfriend a really unfortunate lesson about racial sensitivity. (TV Squad)
  • LOST JUNKIE METHADONE FIX: This list of 50 Loose Ends From Lost doesn’t answer any questions and only makes you want to see the next episode even more. Just like the show! (IGN TV)
  • LIMBLAHBLAHBLAH: “Let’s Just Have The Civil Wars…Just Blow The Place Up”, Rush Limbaugh, on Iraq, right as always. (HuffPo)
  • AWESOME WEBSITE: Now when you’re going on a date with that fugly person you met on MySpace, you don’t have to count on your drunken roommate to bail you out with the mid-meal fake phone call. (Mobile Alibi)
  • HOLIDAY BARGAIN BLOW-OUT: Since your dad still loves those topical Brokeback Mountain jokes, get him one of the hilarious t-shirts from our online store for cheap! (BWE.tv Store)

What’s On Borat’s iPod Walkman?

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borat1.gifGosh, it’s been way too long since we’ve annoyed you by posting about Borat. Well, it’s time to fix that. Stereogum stumbled upon a list of our #1 Kazakh’s favorite tunes. Since we refuse to accept that the whole Borat thing is getting old, here are the first couple of songs on the list:

1. “Beat It” – Michael Jacksons
I a huge fanny of this new song by dancing negro, Michael Jacksons. We have many major exports in my country -first is potassium, second is apples and third is small boys to Michaels ranch. Why not? Is niiice!

2. “You Be My Wife” from Borat Musical Listenings….
This is romantic song that I wrote about a woman’s in my moviefilm, whom I wanted to make romance inside off. This feature Belinda Bedekovic, our famous keytar player and was produced by Korki Buchek!!!

The rest of the list is right here. It’s very… wait for it… what am I gonna say?… hold on… here it comes… NIIIICE! Get it? Niiiice! Ahhhh. Yeah.

Lindsay Lohan Just Another Dumb Girl Who Thinks Her Life Is Like Sex and the City

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SATC.jpgSex and the City Syndrome. Scary Sadshaws. Morons. Call them what you will, but you have undoubetdly noticed the phenomenon of women who seem think their lives are JUST LIKE those of the girls on Sex and the City. You know the type – always trying to figure out with their friends which of the four characters they most resemble (“Oh my god you’re totally Samantha you slut!”) If so, fear not, for you are not alone. In fact, the latest party-loving lass who’s blaming her bad behaviour on the poor examples set by the jet-setting Manhattan lifestyles of Carrie Bradshaw and Company is none other than Lindsay Lohan! Lindsay clearly gets her sassy fashion style from Carrie, her slutty man-eating from Samantha, her hot-but-annoyingness from Charlotte, and her firecrotch from Miranda.

WWJS: What Would Jay Say? The Answer!

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space2.JPGYesterday we tried to figure out which corny, lame, groan-worthy joke Tonight Show host Jay Leno would make regarding the Pamela Anderson / Kid Rock split. We came up with three options and you added a bunch too (our favorite: “It’s okay, though, Pam has already found another scummy man to fill the void in her life: Kevin Federline” from bestblogever). Well, we tuned in last night and sure enough, Jay delivered. Did he go with one of the cheesy ones we predicted (check them out here) or did he come up with his own? Click below to find out.

Thanks for playing! Another WWJS? is coming soon!