Ask BWE!

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We’re starting a new feature here at bwe.tv, cleverly titled Ask BWE! If you have a question you want answered, just send it our way. Email us at info@bwe.tv and we’ll answer your pop culture questions here on the site. Today, we start with Amanda from NY, who has a question about Nicole Richie’s ex, DJ AM. Why was he recently spotted with a black eye? Click below to hear all about it… in his own words.

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RIP: Tara… Your Implants Will Be Missed

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tara_reid_slip.jpgHow do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Friends. Family. Random dudes who have drunkenly hooked up with Tara after a long night at Hyde. Members of the media. It is with much sadness that we gather here today to say goodbye to Tara’s ridiculously large and somewhat deformed breast implants. During their brief time on Earth they touched so many people. So many people. They made a difference, and they won’t be forgotten any time soon. Every time we watch clips of Taradise on YouTube, we will remember. Every time we’re incredibly bored and/or hungover on a Sunday afternoon and catch Alone In The Dark on basic cable, we will remember. And every time a young starlet pops out of her dress in front of a room full of paparazzi and is too drugged out to realize what’s happening… we will remember.

Be strong, people. It’s not going to be easy. But we must do our best to accept Tara with open arms. She’s lost a two big part(s) of who she is, which can’t be easy. However, we should all take solace in the fact that we know they’ve gone on to a better place; running around with Pamela Anderson’s old implants and Punky Brewster’s original D-Cups at that great breast reduction center in the sky. Amen.

MySpace Profile of the Day: Paris Hitler

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PARIS HITLER1.JPGSure, this might just be some smutty hipster techno band’s strange Myspace page, and yes, they seem to genuinely appreciate/worship the real Paris Hilton. But Paris Hitler is a pretty fantastic nom de plume (and frankly, her song “Eye Wanna Nu Drug” is oddly addictive in an Atari-Pong kind of way), and an even better idea for a Halloween costume. (Wig? Check. Moustache? Check. Ass flap? Check.) Whether or not these techno folks actually hate the Jews, well, we’ll choose to believe they don’t… (though we’d easily believe the real Paris drops the k-bomb on a regular basis.)

Check out their profile here, and make sure to note the uncanny resemblance between Fred the Donut Guy and a certain you know who.

***WARNING: Avril Lavigne Is Violent, Extremely “Punk Rock” – Please Approach With Caution!***

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avril2.jpgThe following is a Public Service Announcement from the Office of Dangerous Celebrity Control.

All media professionals, paparazzi, doormen and random pedestrians in the Greater Los Angeles Area should heed this VERY IMPORTANT WARNING. Canadian pop singer Avril Lavigne is on the loose, armed and dangerous, and should only be approached, if absolutely necessary, with the utmost caution. Responsible for a slew of recent media attacks, Lavigne could stike anywhere, day or night (though probably at night, outside of some LA douchebag nightclub), employing any of the following terror tactics:

  • Liberal use of middle finger.
  • Shouting expletives (yes, even the dreaded “F-word”).
  • Spitting on those who get too close to her.
  • Making smooshed up frowny faces to show how tough she is.
  • Inexplicable angst.
  • Laughing and rambling incoherenly while drunk on two Smirnoff Ices.
  • Smoking Cigarettes.
  • Wearing Sex Pistols t-shirts purchased in a shopping mall.
  • Stumbling around like a drunk whore.
  • Blaring her “punk rock” music from the backseat of her Luxury SUV.
  • Hurling insults at no one in particular.
  • Disgustingly making out with her equally punk rock husband, the dude from Sum Charlotte 182.
  • Tragically lacking any self-awareness.

The Avril Alert Level is currently set to: RED (Extemely High). Consider yourselves warned.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The Temperature’s A-Droppin’

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We love the local news. Specifically, the people who do the weather on the local news. In this clip we present to you the hippest weatherman this side of Long Beach. And your first nominee for Best Dated Pop Culture Reference In A News Program is…

Wonderful. I can hardly wait for 2008 so he can deliver the line, “We’re bringing Sexy Back… along with the humidity!”

CHICK CORNER: Cancer Isn’t Funny… We Think.

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chickpic.JPGWe’ve been known to catch a Lifetime original movie every now and again, whilst basting ourselves in Ben N’ Jerry’s “Self-Pitty” and throwing pages of My Mother/My Self onto our emotional fires to stay warm. But pardon us if we cock a suspicious eyebrow towards Lifetime’s latest addition to their estro-genderrific lineup: A movie entitled Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy, featuring an original song by India.Arie called “I Am Not My Hair”. (Aren’t you, India? Aren’t you?)

Upon further research, this made-for-tv-movie is intended to be a comedy, and is based on the chick-litty book of the same name. (A-phew!) A noony comedy, no doubt. The movie premieres October 23 at 9PM ET*, so feel free to Tivo it and add it to your All-Cancer Film Festival lineup. In the meantime, we’ll be checking for karma-induced tumors in the show-show.

*For the record, we will watch it, and cry for hours.

LISTEN UP: Bloggers Destroy Everything They Love

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  • Gorilla vs Bear isn’t happy about being name-checked in the ill-informed charticle about how music blogs are destroying the bands they love in the latest issue of Rolling Stone (the “Hot Issue”, ironically with Fergie on the cover), but he is happy to post a new track from M.I.A. (who he’s clearly trying to destroy).
  • Cold War Kids were also referenced in said charticle, and they’re continuing down the path of total destruction over on The Larry Page, a dastardly music blogger who posted three of their hype-worthy tracks.
  • Stereogum is already trying to diminish the talents of The Diminsher by indicating he “likes” a couple of their songs. What a dick.
  • *Sixeyes is trying to destroy the entire “indie rock covers compilation CD” from The Believer by posting all the tracks with somewhat favorable things to say about the ENTIRE THING.
  • Even popular movie stars aren’t immune to the scourge of the Music Blog Death Sword, as one-time indie It-Boy Gael Garcia Bernal gets UTTERLY DEMOLISHED by You Ain’t No Picasso, who posted a track from The Science of Sleep Soundtrack.

CAPTION THIS! Life On The Oprah Road

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In an effort to prove to Oprah that Steadman will never love her as much as she does, Gayle King shows off her new ride.

Your turn. Leave your Captions in the Comments now. (via)

SIZZLER: Paging Dr. Toughguy!

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grey2.jpgThe celebrity sleuths over at The National Enquirer have an exclusive story on “one of Hollywood’s most shocking fights ever” (guess someone hasn’t seen the Carter Brothers Battle Royal?) between Grey’s Anatomy co-stars Isaiah “Love Jones” Washington and Patrick “McDreamy” Dempsey, whose heated disagreement escalated into a no-holds-barred on-set deathmatch culminating in a “chokehold”, “shoving” and someone being called “a bitch”. Ah, how frightening it can be when two highly paid pretty boy TV stars throw down in a slapfight of kindergarten playground proportions! Luckily, the violence and bloodshed was finally diffused when Washington “stormed off to his trailer to cool off” whilst Dempsey stood silently in utter “disbelief”. But don’t sigh relief yet, as “insiders” are reporting that “the feud is far from over”. What could these gladiators possibly have in store for round 2 of their raging rumble? Only time will tell, but if peace-keeping efforts aren’t made soon, someone’s agent could end up getting a choicely-worded letter.