It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, October 30th! Giulia is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Deal or No Deal, Prison Break and Heroes!
Here are some of today’s most memorable pictures. Click the orange “left and right” arrows to flip through them all.
Like a moth to the flame, attention-starved blowhard Bill O’Reilly bends over David Letterman’s knee for the second time to have his bottom publicly spanked on issues like President Bush’s incompetence, the ongoing threat of terrorism, and the war in Iraq – an issue on which he seems to be the very last individual outside of elected Republicans who is still willing to gingerly defend this costly and tragic disaster of a war. If we’d been doing The Daily Douche for as long as Bill has been saying retarded sh*t on television, this would be approximately the 47,279th time he was awarded the honor.
The following video is so incredibly awesomely hilariously scary, we won’t ruin it with too much talk. Here is the music video for “Ready For Freddy”, performed by The Fat Boys (i.e. “The Fat Boiiiiz!”, aka “No, Literally, They’re Morbidly Obese Boys”) for 1988′s A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. If Freddy Krueger terrifies you, this video will be your Room 101… in that Freddy raps.
Caption This! brought to you by Stranger Than Fiction, in theaters November 10th.
Even J-list pseudo-celebs get into the Halloween spirit, and this picture features the costume-wearing prowess of Travis Barker, Kimberly Stewart and Brandon Davis, who continues beating the dead horse of “firecrotch” jokes into a glue-like pulp.
Sure Family Guy may beat the s**t out of American Dad in the laughs department, but who would win a head-to-head kung-fu fight? Peter or Stan? Stewie or Roger? Lois or Hayley? If these questions have been keeping you up at night, first seek help, then head over here to play the American Dad Vs. Family Guy Kung-Fu Flash game. The one liners that the characters spit out during the fights make it a must-play for fans.
Just be warned: if you’re playing as Chris, you’re probably not going to win. You’ll see.
We’ve been through this before, people, but the wounds never stop hurting. TMZ.com is reporting that our favorite brother-n-sister Hollywood couple, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe, are filing for divorce after 7 years of marriage. Go ahead. Find your rosary beads. Are you clutching them? Good. Because we are on the verge of losing all hope. Just 11 days ago, the couple was overheard fighting at the Flags of Our Fathers premiere. Since then, Reese has contacted famed divorce attorney Robert Kaufman, and released a statement asking to “please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.” The couple has two children together and one Oscar.
We’ll definitely respect their privacy, though we do want to let Reese know: We are 100 percent on your side, honey! As handsome as he is, Phillipe has always have what experts refer to as a “bastard face”. It always seemed like Reese was the better parent of the two, frequently photographed with her kids, with Ryan nowhere to be seen. We’ve also heard rumors that he is a Major Cad, but seeing as we’re respecting their privacy, we won’t delve further. We will, however, give Reese full permission to get just as fat and bitchy as she wants for the next year or so without any judgment calls whatsoever. Though we’d love to see her hookup with Anthony Michael Hall, just to continue that Aryan bloodline we so envy.