Here are six reasons Prison Break’s Lane Garrison, should be put into a prison he can’t break out of. Last Saturday night he was 1)
probably driving drunk in his 2) SUV full of 3) high school kids as young as 15 when he 4) lost control and hit a tree, resulting in 5) the loss of one life and 6) critically injuring two others. How about one of those “Scared Straight” prison reality shows where some big bald homocidal rapist named Lunchbox redefines the kid’s understanding of the word “Hyde”.
I’ve been having trouble trying to choose between getting a PS3 or Nintendo Wii. This Mac parody ad has made my decision a whole lot easier. Not because it’s particular funny or anything, but because damn… that Wii is hot.
After years of playing professional ball, Derek Jeter must be used to having women throw themselves at him. But how about 75-year-old male talk show hosts? Today on Regis & Kelly, Regis just couldn’t stop himself from flirting with the Yankee captain. Kind of makes us wonder which team he’s rooting for…
Hey, we don’t blame Regis. The guy’s a stud.
A clever Atlanta Falcons fan wears a loving tribute to Michael Vick, also known as “Ron Mexico”, also known as the pro athlete who used a pseudonym to give herpes to half of Hotlanta. (via Deadspin)
World renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has accomplished a lot during his 64 years on this planet. Despite being a rendered a quadriplegic at a young age, he wrote a best-selling book, was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society, and created theorems that provided a set of sufficient conditions for the existence of a singularity in space-time. However, there’s one thing that’s missing from Mr. Hawking’s otherwise impressive porfolio: Reality TV Star. Well, maybe not for long..
SCIENCE genius Stephen Hawking has been invited on to the next series of Celebrity Big Brother.
The wheelchair-bound professor, 64, has been offered a â€œsubstantial feeâ€, according to a pal.
The friend said: â€œWhen Stephen heard, a big grin spread across his face. He thought it was very funny.â€ [keep reading]
Alright, so he’s probably not going to do it… but we can dream. How great would it be to see Stephen causing trouble in the Big Brother house? Imagine the wheelchair-bound scientist usetting some C-List celebrity who then turns to him and says, “Um, excuse me? What did you just say? I know you didn’t just blink that!”
C’mon Stephen… do it. For science. Please?
We weren’t invited to the Kennedy Center Honors that took place in Washington D.C. this weekend, but if we had been, we imagine our liveblogging would have gone something like this:
6:15 PM: Here we are at the Red Carpet Arrivals for the Kennedy Center Honors! This is one of the classiest nights in town, a night full of glitz, glamour, class, and top notch performances. Oh, there’s Jessica Simpson! Wow, she looks fantastic…
6:16: And look! She’s creepily hugging her dad/celebrity manager, Joe Simpson. Looks like that reality show is definitely paying his food bills, no?
6:22: Still hugging her dad… it’s getting weird.
6:26: Aaaaaaaand they’re done.
8:15: The audience begins to applued the next honoree, Dolly Parton. And as a thank you for her many decades of hard work, dedication, success and talent, the announcer welcomes to the stage Jessica Simpson, that blonde girl who thought there were chickens in the ocean.
8:16: Jessica starts singing Nine to Five, Dolly’s hit song. The irony that she hasn’t ever worked a real day job is not lost on us. But, ya know? So far, it’s not really that bad! Feet are tapping all around us.
8:17: Uh oh… she’s flubbing the lines juuuuust a bit.
8:18: OK, she’s… she’s cracking….
Four days into December, it’s time to start filling yourself up with holiday cheer. What better way to start than by watching this video by Sin Destroyers, the “world’s Christianest rock band.” We knew Jesus rocked, but we had no idea he rocked this hard.
Vid courtesy of CC Insider
Our first thought when looking at this picture was “Damn, Dakota Fanning looks really put together! Turtleneck, ankle boots, tights… we like it!” It was only then we realized that Dakota looked same as yoozh, but her company, in the form of Outkast’s Andre 3000, aka Black Soccer-Playing Pocahantas. (Click here for the big pic.) And it hit us: Dakota’s fashion sense ain’t going anywhere… which is why she needs to start hanging out with this rug-wearing maniac ASAP. Not only is he talented, but he might literally be blind, meaning she’ll look fabulous. It’s kind of like when you go nightclubbing with your really fat friends, and you start to feel beautiful and skinny for the first time in your life…? Anyway, may the above friendship last 4VR in our hearts and also in reality.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably endured hundreds of sleepless nights over the past 13 months wondering how R. Kelly’s epic “Trapped In The Closet” rap opera was going to play out. After blowing our minds with 12 videos that could only be described as brilliant, R. took a break. And although there were initally rumors of 20 more chapters to come, a national tour, a play based on the song and a potential TV series, nothing has come to fruition. For the past year we’ve been left in the dark as to what will become of Sylvester, Gwendolyn, Rufus, the midget hiding in the cupboard and the rest of our favorite characters. Would we ever see them again? Will anything get resolved? Would R. Kelly ever venture back into the closet?
Well, the folks at Idolator came upon a casting call for the next chapter(s) of the series, and oh man, are we excited! Apparently Kelly is looking to fill the roles of an African American couple in their 60′s named Myrna & Odell, a white mafia-type guy named Joey, and a 20 person choir. Why? How the hell would we know? I don’t even think R. Kelly knows. But if this means we’re one step closer to some closet closure… well, then this might be the best news we’ve heard all year.
To see the first 12 videos, click here. Come on. You know you want to.