We almost did it. We almost made it the entire day without posting about Borat (besides a little mention in the While You Were’s). Almost.
Borat was on Leno last night and, as expected, he was absolutely hilarious. Not so much during his own interview– at this point we’ve pretty much heard it all before– but when Martha Stewart came out for hers. Even if you’re sick of Borat you have to watch this. Watching an uncomfortable Jay Leno try to keep up with this comic genius is too funny for words. And when Jay awkwardly asks Martha if she’s ever had 2 men at the same time? Niiiice. Click below to watch (in two parts).
What’d you miss while you were working today? Well, for starters, you missed the only ten men on the planet who know the words to “Lady Marmalade” rocking out on The Megan Mullally Show. You heard me: rocking out.
Man, those guys sure were happy, weren’t they? Happy. That’s the only way to describe them. Happy as hell.
Here’s recipe for great television: Have a cognitive neuroscientist take advantage of the policy on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire:
Since the producers allow contestants unlimited time to work out answers (as long as they’re not just stalling), I knew that I could employ the most basic of priming tactics: talking about the question, posing scenarios, throwing out wild speculations, even just babbling — trying to cajole my prefrontal neurons onto any cue that could trigger the buried neocortical circuits holding the key to the answer.
Well la-dee-da, Mr. Scientist Man! Judging from his game-playing tactics, he’ll either end up a millionaire, or snag a coveted panelist seat on The View. Read his engaging account of his Millionaire experience here to find out how much he walked away with. For the dumbest Millionaire contestant of all time, click here. For our favorite Millionaire finish of all time, click here. And for the best Millionaire parody, click here.
That’s exactly what our own panelist Paul Scheer had to say about this commercial for a Star Wars movie marathon on Cinemax, and that kind of accurate statement is exactly why Paul is on TV and you are not. This hamfisted crap has George Lucas written all over it.
The following plays like a celebrity video yearbook from the “Old West.” It’s the new music video for the Johnny Cash song “God’s Gonna Cut You Down,” featuring Chris Martin, Sheryl Crow, Johnny Depp, Owen Wilson, Chris Rock and Kate Moss’ ass. There really doesn’t seem to be a point to this video, other than celebrities trying to look/be cool. Which is reason enough for us. But would Johnny approve?
When we asked Uncle Grambo from Whatevs.org if he’d like to participate our iPod shuffle this week, he gave the exact response we were hoping for: “Obvs!” The man who represented D-town, created his own language (“bovs on YOUR tees”) and who has an unhealthy obsession with Amanda Bynes currently sits 15 feet away from me and guess what; he doesn’t give a damn about indie-cred. Below are the first 5 songs that popped up on his iPod shuffle. When you’re done reading, add your own Shuffle in the comments. Or don’t. Whatevs.
1) Bob Marley, “Stir It Up” - Well f*ck me in the goat ass. I just knew that revealing the contents of my iPod would turn me into “that guy”. You know, that guy down the hall from you freshman year with the giant subway poster of Bob Marley thumbtacked to his dorm room wall who bought his incense by the gross?
2) Underworld, “Rez” - Great, just great. Apparently now I’ve graduated from weed to ecstasy. Thanks for nothing, iPod!
3) Counting Crows, “Speedway” – I just came to a realization. Why worry about burning my indie cred? It’s not like I had any in the first place. With that in mind, buy me a beer sometime and I’ll give you my dissertation on why “This Desert Life” is of one my all-time favorite LPs.
4) Floyd Cramer, “Last Date” - Right up there with “Sleepwalk” (Santos & Jonny stizz) as one of my all-time fave instrumental jams.
5) Oasis, “Live Forever” – Bonehead and Guigsy, may you rest in peace.
Caption This! brought to you by Stranger Than Fiction, in theaters November 10th.
“GET OFF THE SHED!!!! I WILL DOUSE YOU IN GASOLINE AND LIGHT ON YOU FIRE LIKE THAT BUDDHIST MONK IN VIETNAM IF YOU DON’T GET OFF THAT DAMN SHED!”
Your turn. Leave your best Will Ferrell Captions in the Comments now!
I’ve always thought that Comedy Central’s Reno 911! was a hit-and-miss show capable of being either boring or hilarious. But by the looks of this trailer, the Miami-based movie version seems to fall firmly in the latter category. Could this be most hilarious thing to happen to cop comedies since Steve Guttenberg last donned his patrolman Blues?
We’ve put together four Simi-lebrities for your perusal, who all have the distinguishing feature of looking older than they actually are thanks to their seasoned hair coloring.
Ted Danson & Bob Barker
American Idol‘s Taylor Hicks and America’s Sweetheart Bea Arthur