Angelina Dislikes Ryan Seacrest; The Feeling is Myootch

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RYANSEACRESTISSAD.JPGMany were wondering what the deal was with Angelina Jolie on the red carpet at the Golden Globes Monday night. Some claimed she looked strung out, others wondered if there was tension with the husb, many worried she was a couple Lean Pockets shy of passing out. Today, we have an answer: She hates awards shows, and specifically, Ryan Seacrest, (wax figure seen right, looking sad.)

On his morning radio show, Seacrest launched into an Anti-Jolie diatribe:

“I asked her four questions and she didn’t even answer me,” he complained. “I literally stood there and tried to ask a couple of questions. At one point I just kind of let the E! microphone sit in front of her for a second to see if she was going to acknowledge it, and she clearly wanted nothing to do with me or my question or my answer or any of it.”

Seacrest was more forgiving of Jolie’s other half, Brad Pitt, who was standing next to her during the interview and did most of the talking. “Brad was fantastic.”

“Don’t go. Don’t go support your man. Don’t go.”

This sounds like the ideal situation for Seacrest: Charm the mullet right off Brad while Angelina is at home busy hand-feeding her mini-army of children. Because when the man who learned everything he knows from Merv Griffin lets his microphone dangle in front of your face, you best slap a smile on your face ASAP dammit.

While You Were Already So Over The New Season Of American Idol

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  • A newly single Cameron Diaz insists that she’s happy with the direction her life is taking. When reached for comment, a naked Justin Timberlake surrounded by 15 beautiful women said, “What? Who? Uh, yeah… me too.”
  • Eva Mendes is eating excessively to make her breasts bigger. She’s already put herself on a stirctly silicone diet.
  • 80-year-old Hugh Hefner wants another kid. To raise, not to date. We think.
  • Pink was left devastated after discovering her dog, Elvis, had drowned in her swimming pool. She found no solace in the note Elvis left which read “If Pink was owner, you know you’d drown yourself too.”
  • According to an In Touch poll, Charlize Theron has the best legs in Hollywood. And in a related poll, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were all tied for first for The Worst Thing We’ve Seen Between 2 Legs In Hollywood.

TRAILER MIX: Here Is a Movie About Reigniting the Sun

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Before you check out the below trailer for Sunshine (see post title), directed by Danny Boyle of 28 Days Later, we’d like to relate a short story. A story about how a few years back I made the silly mistake of seeing the movie 28 Days Later, about ravenous zombies, in the evening — meaning that by the time the movie ended, the sun had gone down. My friend and I, exiting the theater into the dark streets of New York City, both decided to cab it home out of fear (even though we were making a combined salary of a handful of ramen noodles at the time), spoke on the phone throughout the ride to reassure our safety, and then locked ourselves in our rooms with the lights on out of fear our necks would be devoured by the walking dead.

Below is the trailer for Boyle’s new movie, Sunshine, about people sent to reignite the sun. Let’s just say we won’t be buying any Vitamin D lamps anytime soon.

…OF THE DAY

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  • MOST UNEXPECTED EXPECTED NON-SHOCKING SHOCKER: Lindsay Lohan enters rehab. We’re trying really hard to “respect her privacy”, but truly hope the people in charge know the difference between “water” and “party water”. (TMZ)
  • SEX TAPE: Whenever we read about sex tapes featuring someone engaging in water sports, we always picture something along the lines of “doggystyle on a jetski.” In the case of Paris Hilton‘s bestie Kim Kardashian‘s tape, sounds like it’s otherwise. (DListed)
  • FAVORITE HEADLINE: “How do you solve a problem like Maria Menounos?” The answer: Muzzle. Also, it pains that they sullied the good name of The Sound of Music. (Entertainment Weekly)
  • WORST IDEA: Here’s quick recipe for the worst TV show ever: Celebrities + Improv. Also, sob on your pillows tonight for the future of the very talented Bryan Cranston, i.e. Malcolm in the Middle‘s Dad, slated as a star. (Bracing for hate mail from the Whose Line fan club.) (Variety)
  • STONED VIDEO: If you happen to be a fan of watching two stoned guys trying to remember their lines while getting progessively more stoned, might we suggest the short film Two Dudes? Note that we do not condone smoking pot, drinking beer, or wearing red skull caps. (Youtube, Language NSFW)

The Creepiest F**king Thing We Have Ever Seen

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Ah-Guh. We would love to meet the maniacal wax-worker at Madame Tussauds Las Vegas responsible for hand-crafting the following wax figure of Ryan Seacrest, so that we could grab his hand in ours, a rubber mallet in the other, and mangle the ever-living God out of it Casino-style. Because the hands responsible for creating the following wax dummy of Ryan Seacrest must be stopped:

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Though the added detail of the fake tan is a nice touch. And even in wax, Simon Cowell and Ryan’s sexual tension is palpable.

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CAPTION THIS! (Wo)Man In The Mirror

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Nicole Richie works on new hairstyle to distract the public from whatever stupid thing she decides to do next.

Your turn. Leave your captions in the comments now. And for more pics of Nicole’s beauty salon trip, click here.

UPDATE: Dane Cook’s Publicist Responds (Sorta)!

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tourgasmsndtrk.jpgIn a moment of supreme Alanis Morissette-esque irony, I received a Dane Cook promotional email from Special Ops Media only moments after posting my MySpace correspondance with Dane earlier today. Apparently, his publicity folks would like me to “review/preview” the Soundrack From Dane Cook’s Tourgasm, which features tracks including (I swear to God):

  • “Ball Sack”
  • “Fart King”
  • “Brokebutt Mountain
  • “F**king Turtle”

    When it comes to “reviewing” this soundtrack, or Dane’s talent as a comedian, those song titles pretty much speak for themselves. The full tracklisting/press release can be found after the jump.

    Read more…