1. Despite being panned by every critic in the galaxy save for two parental basement-dwelling geeks with their own “movie fan” websites, Generic Japanese Horror Re-Make Part 2 managed to usurp quality’s week-long reign at the box office, and restore homogenized garbage to its rightful place at the top of the trash heap – $22 million
2. Despite being praised by every critic in the galaxy save for the two aforementioned basement-dwelling horror-loving geeks, Martin Scorsese’s latest masterpiece wouldn’t even have made the top ten this week if not for the word-of-mouth about Jack Nicholson wearing a strap on, which has been bringing in the teenage girl demographic for repeat screenings – $18.7 million
3. Just in time for Halloween, a scary movie about the one man who could possibly be more frighteningly incompetent of a president than George W. Bush. Though, if it were during his “coke years”, Mork actually might have made a pretty decent Commander In Chief – $12.55 million
4. With all the generic horror flicks and all the generic animated movies, someone should do a CGI remake of The Shining, in which a family of woodland creatures moves into a haunted treehouse for the winter, and the father raccoon (voiced by Kevin James) slowly loses his mind and tries to axe-murder his furry family with a pocketknife he found in the yard of the human family next door. Heeeeeere’s Rocky! – $11 million
5. The Texas Chainsaw Saw Grudge Nightmare Evil Hostel of the Dead Who Have Eyes’ Omen Feast the 13th was really a no-brainer, I guess – $7.75 million
Ever wonder what Christopher Walken does on his downtime? We constantly do. So we were pleased when Walken, looking like Wolverine in a suit, described his typical afternoon during a Regis and Kelly interview last week. Never has reading a magazine sounded so… startling.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 15th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives and Girls Next Door!
Have a great weekend, all! We’ll see you back on Monday.
Because you can’t get enough of Ashlee and Jessica. Because you’ve often wondered what it’d be like if Ashlee had a wheelbarrow full of fast food and Jessica was lobbing hot dogs at her. And because you’re really really really bored at work. That’s why you want to play A Family Affair, the latest VH1 Game that pits Jessica against Ashlee. Or something. I haven’t exactly figured it out yet.
Anyway, this game should keep you busy for LITERALLY minutes on end. So go ahead; make like Joe Simpson and start playing with them girls.
Filing Nick Lachey under “D for Douche” is sort of like calling Paris Hilton “a little promiscuous” – it just goes without saying. But some d-bags are d-baggier than others, and when Jessica Simpson’s c*ck-loving cuckold told David Letterman that he deals with his divorce from that brainless boobjob by “throwing himself into a little bit of booze to kind of numb the pain”, he’s pretty much slamming his fist down on the bar after half a beer and drunkenly announcing to everyone within earshot, “I AM NICK LACHEY, AND I AM A PATHETIC DOUCHEBAG!” like the total Sorority Girl that he is. The mental image of that blonde-tipped baby crying into a bottle of Smirnoff Ice over the inevitable failure of his publicity stunt marriage makes it so much easier to understand why wifey would want to be the meat in the middle of a Jackass sandwich. Anyways, congratulations Nick – you’re today’s Daily Douche. And a total pussy.
Morning Theft is an NYC band via Boston that sounds a little bit like Nirvana, a little bit like The Replacements, and a whole lot like Awesome (does that even make sense?) They’ll be playing a Halloween show in Cambridge, MA where they cover Weezer’s blue album from beginning to end, so if you’re in the Boston area you can’t miss it (you can find out more about it and listen to a few tracks on their MySpace page, natch.) Lead singer Rob Holmes sat down in the BWE iPod Shuffle chair today and threw caution to the wind. Let’s see how he did:
1.) Jeff Buckley “Corpus Christi Carol” – I named my band after a Jeff Buckley song. But not this one.
2.) Hole “Miss World” – One of the best songs Kurt Cobain ever wrote
3.) The Pixies “Down To The Well” – God, i love this band. Boston represent.
4.) The Replacements “Alex Chilton” – Something bugs me about the lyric “children by the million wait for alex chilton.” Stupid Mark Foley, ruining everything.
5.) Dane Cook “Where’s the Handle” – I love listening to comedy CDs, and i used to really really like Dane Cook… but seriously, Dane, what the hell? What is wrong with you? You’re like the new Ben Affleck….a Boston boy gone wrong.
Alright, now it’s your turn. Shuffle your iPod and leave your songs in the comments. And don’t lie!
What can I say? Girlfriend has some straight up KILLER dance moves. This is what Justin was talking about with “bringing the SexyBack”.
The Bastardly wants you to vote on who you think deserves the title of Ugliest Woman of ’06.
This is far from an informal poll– The Bastardly folks have it all covered. There’s a point system, there’s a submission deadline, and there are dozens and dozens of fugly celebrities to choose from. So who do you think deserves to be on the list? Let us know… but more importantly, let them know.