Lindsay & Harry: Did They Ever Have A Chance?

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lindsay_lohan.jpgThought we’d always be together,
I was sure our love would last.
Here I am, all alone, wond’rin’ what went wrong.
Did we ever have a chance?

Did they ever have a chance? That’s the question on the lips of so many Americans today as the news of Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton’s breakup spreads around the country. Two youngsters so full of promise and so full of love, splitting and going their own separate ways on this crazy planet we call Earth. Optimists will say that they are young, and perhaps this breakup is nothing but a stepping stone for the pair- an obstacle that the two will overcome that will ultimately strengthen their bond. Others will say that this is it for MortHan (if that happens to be what you call them), and that even though they weren’t right for each other, the experience of being together will make them better people and provide them with memories that will last a lifetime. Either way; that crazy little thing called love died a little bit today. And nobody– nobody– could ever say otherwise. MortHan… you will be missed.

What did we promise to each other?
What were the words we said?
Lookin’ back to yesterday,
When we started off,
Did we ever have a clue what love was all about?

You said it, Zack Attack. You said it.

YOUTUBULAR: Saturday Morning Cartoon Fever

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I have no idea what this video is, where it came from or what it means, but it’s insanely awesome and it’s Friday and you really need to see it. Anyone who can translate it so I can figure out what the hell’s going on gets a special prize. (via CC Insider)

Shuffling Towards The Weekend

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shuffle.jpgThere are legends and then there are legends. Actors like Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando- they’re legends. But a guy who starred in Creepozoids, Vampires On Bikini Beach, and an episode of 21 Jump Street? That, my friends is a legend.

This week’s iPod Shuffler is Ken Abraham, an actor/writer/producer who sports a first-ballot-Hall-Of-Fame imdb profile. You have classic dramas like Six Feet Under, classic comedies like Ally McBeal, and classic movies about busty police officers like Vice Academy. What more do you need? Let’s see what kind of music an actor who regularly showered on film with B-movie scream queens is listening to these days. Ken, you’re up:

Ken’s iPod Shuffle
1. “Hold On” Good Charlotte
2. “From Me To You” The Beatles
3. “Lithium” Nirvana
4. “Hung My Head” Johnny Cash
5. “The Way You Move” Outkast

Now it’s your turn. Leave the first five songs on your iPod shuffle in the comments now!

Jared Leto Was Right After All

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corykennedy.jpgOnly a day ago I was lambasting Jared Leto for saying “all blogs should die a sudden death”, and boy did I speak too soon because, today having stumbled upon the online presence of Cory Kennedy, it turns out that Leto hit the bulls-eyeliner. You’re probably wondering who Cory Kennedy is, and your curiousity would be justified as she’s an otherwise uninteresting human being whose sole claim to fame is being the waif-like teenage runaway girlfriend of the increasingly ubiquitous hipster photographer known as “The Cobrasnake” (Full Disclosure: In my spare time, I make fun of said photographer over at Gawker. Additional Disclosure: if I ever become a hipster photographer, I’m going to call myself “The Bobcatcat”). ANYWAY, as her boyfriend’s increasing fame has given her access to the Hollywood circles of which we usually speak around here, and about whom she posts on her blog (each nugget of celebrity encounter ususally titled with a lyric from some painfully obvious hipster anthem by The Smiths or The Strokes or Pulp or whatever), we thought you might be interested in her brilliant insight, such as:

nate, luke and i headed to paris’s house where it was just nutso. everyone was there. ‘i hate brandon davis i kicked him out of my house! i hate him….!’

oh by the way this is paris, nicky, and lindsey lohan talking by the pool.

‘look paris i just want all this drama to stop’
‘dont believe anything they say lins!!!! theyll say anything its not true. fuck brandon and fucking firecrotch shit. we love you so much.’
‘you look so hot btw’
-lindsey laughs-

My apologies to Mr. Leto.

LISTEN UP: Take Covers

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  • MOKB has almost as many cover tracks of Oasis’ classic song “Wonderwall” (including versions by Cat Power, Ryan Adams and Radiohead) as Liam Gallagher has statements he later regretted having said.
  • Aquarium Drunkard has a couple more tracks from Yo La Tengo’s new album I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass, which I will never get tired of typing.
  • The latest six-pack over at *Sixeyes has some fine brews from My Brightest Diamond, Spoon and Sprites. Very refreshing.
  • Gorilla vs Bear has a couple tracks from the buzzards in Ghostland Observatory, who set at Austin City Limits reportedly set their hometown on fire.
  • Berkeley Place has a “Best of The Killers” post that seems sort of like an oxymoron to me, but maybe you’ll enjoy it.

The Amazing Power of Candies in Liquid

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We write this post under the assumption that you’ve seen the famous “Mentos in Coke” video experiments. (We’ll wait.) But we bet you didn’t realize the other amazing powers of candies in liquid… thankfully, the Nobody’s Watching guys find out for us.

ICYMI: Fear and Loathing In Willie’s Tour Bus

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(Click image to view larger size.)

Just in time for the weekend:

“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls.”

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I like to party as much as the next guy, but that really seems like a lot of narcotics for a 73 year-old.

CHALLENGE: How Much Braff Can You Withstand?

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lastkiss.jpgBefore he became The Annoying Filmmaker Who Defined a Generation of Disaffected Youth, Zach Braff was just an annoying film student who, like so many of his peers, seemed to enjoy making meandering little movie projects that could test the patience of even the most trancendent Zen Buddhist. The only thing that’s particularly surprising about this little short film is that it preceded the “Use of Measured Senitivity and Ironic Humor to Cope With Late Twenties Existential Crises” creative phase our little auteur currently seems to be stuck in (much to the delight of college kids and other people who prefer to be beaten over the head with “meaning”). Not really sure what generational anxiety Zach was trying to address in this little opus, but I’m sure he was speaking for somebody (the schizophrenic, perhaps). Your challenge is see how long you can withstand watching it. Leave your time in the comments – and no cheating!

ICYMI: Clay Drops By The Office

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Last night’s episode of The Office touched on a very sensitive issue: coming out of the closet. Since we were too busy obsessing over Jim & Pam, though, we totally missed this scene.