GAMES: Guitar Face or O-Face?

by

oface.jpgOur friends at Fleshbot (yeah, we have friends at the NSFW Fleshbot, what’s it to ya?) directed us over to the best quiz we’ve seen all week: Guitar Face or O-Face?

It’s not as easy as you’d think. For example, take the picture of Jared Leto here on the left. Is the 30 Seconds To Mars frontman / Urban Legend star rocking out to one of his kick-ass songs about how nobody truly understands him, or is he finishing up with another young wannabe actress who’s only there because they totally loved Jordan Cattalano in 1994? It’s a tough call.

Take the (pretty NSFW) quiz here. And good luck… perverts.

ICYMI: Supermarket of the Stars is Brilliana Douglas

by

What happens when celebrities take a job at a supermarket to make some extra cash? Supermarket of the Stars answers all of those questions, as both the awesome Illeana Douglas and Justine Bateman strap on their pink aprons to find out, in scenes that include “price check” line readings with the Indian manager. This is one of the best vids we’ve ever seen on Youtube, we swear it.

Mel Gibson Hates The Jews, Danny Glover, Mayans

by

apocalypto.jpg

After upsetting the Jews who own Hollywood with an anti-Semetic movie (The Passion Of The Christ) and anti-Semetic rant (the one with the word “sugartits” in it), Mel Gibson has decided it might be in his best interest to move on and upset a group that doesn’t own much of anything: The Mayans.

Indigenous activists in Guatemala are calling Mel’s new movie, Apocalypto, racist. And they haven’t even seen the movie yet– just the trailer! So you know it’s racist.

“Gibson replays, in glorious big budget Technicolor, an offensive and racist notion that Maya people were brutal to one another long before the arrival of Europeans and thus they deserved, in fact, needed, rescue,” said Ignacio Ochoa, director of the Nahual Foundation that promotes Mayan culture. [keep reading]

I’m actually starting to feel bad for Mel. If the guy can’t say that the Jews killed Christ, that the Jews start all the wars in the world, and that the Mayans were bloodthirsty animals, what can he say? “I’m getting too old for this s**t!” No wait… that was Danny Glover’s line.

He’s got nothing.

Britney Spears’ Vagina Jokes: Officially Dead

by

Yesterday, we posted our handy-dandy “Britney Spears Vagina Jokes Hilarity Index“, charting the rise-and-inevitable-fall of humor that is Britney’s swollen chassis. We assumed that the lowest point of hilarity would be the inevitable thong joke dropped by Jay Leno chin-minus-3 years from now. But we forgot to take into consideration an almost unfathomable lower point — something unfunnier than Jay Leno’s monologue: Britney Spears… making fun of herself. A reader tips us off to a message on Britney’s website:

BRITNEYUNDERWEAR1.JPG

In a way, we’re relieved. It’s kind of like how Seinfeld went off the air in their prime, before “jumping the shark.” By making fun of her own self, Britney has essentially removed the fire from her own vagina. And we thought she’d need a special cream… Bless.

The good news? She’s just getting started, everyone! Keep your eyes peeled for a Paris/Britney Goatse pic at Hyde any day now.

ICYMI: Topher’s Pee-Pee Gun Strangely Arousing

by

We don’t remember this preview for the 2006 MTV Movie Awards featuring Topher Grace, Flava Flav and Jessica Alba. Perhaps the over-abundance of the term “Pee-Pee Gun” rubbed the censors the wrong way, or perhaps we ourselves went to the toi-toi during a commercial break on Date My Mom… anyway, men, women and Brigitte Nielsen should really enjoy this one.

(Via College Humor)

While You Were Drunk Texting

by

winky2.jpg

  • Lindsay Lohan’s latest rambling letter to no one in particular falls somewhere between “homeless guy yelling about the apocalypse on a street corner” and “Michael Richards screaming the N-Word” on the Crazy Talk scale.
  • Meanwhile, Britney Spears’ lastest missive of truth encouragingly suggests that the starlet has finally come to the realization that we’re all tired of seeing her vajooj every time she exits an automobile.
  • Across town, Kevin Federline’s latest plea for continued relevance informs us that the wannabe rapper is doing great despite, you know, not selling any albums, getting divorced, having no money and being regarded as America’s Biggest Douchebag.
  • Then we’ve got Joel Madden and Nicole Richie forming an unholy union of who gives a sh*t.
  • And can someone please tell us why Britney is borrowing bad ironic T-shirts from her bodyguard?

Best Night Ever: Wednesday, December 6th!

by

It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, December 6th! Shea is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including: King of Queens featuring an ice cream truck, Tyra and crew has chosen America’s Next Top Model for us, the Biggest Loser a la Wylie, the always peaceful Real World has made it to the glorious land of Denver, and MTV has a new series about poor guys trying to act rich in LA on TwentyFour Seven.

…Of The Day

by

    hayden.jpg
  • TAKING THE HIGH ROAD: We agree with Egotastic– HeroesHayden Panettiere keeping her top on is a good thing. That wasn’t easy. (Egotastic)
  • TO DO LISTS: Everybody makes to do lists. These are just funnier than the rest of them. (CC Insider)
  • JESSICA WHO?: What happens when you take Jessica Simpson’s sexy “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” video and replace Jess with a sexier British model? The answer is: good things. (Hollywood Tuna)
  • SO CLOSE, SO FAR: Jenna Bush is spending Christmas with her unemployed boyfriend. Sadly, it’s not K-Fed. (Wonkette)
  • FINAL SOLUTION: Finally, somebody figured out how to solve the problem in Iraq. Get this video to Washington, ASAP. (Jossip)