SIZZLER: Diaz v. Timberlake, The Public Fighting Begins

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TIMBERLAKE2.JPGWe were overjoyed to learn that the recently broken-up Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake were both at the Golden Globe Awards Monday night, and even moreso when we saw that Diaz was dressed up like Geena Davis as the bride in Beetlejuice. However, a report in the Post this morning about Diaz’s behavior at the post-Globe parties has flipped our switch from “Celebrity” to “Oh, Right, They’re Real People with Feelings and Emotions”, i.e. has made us feel uncomfortable.

Turns out, the two tried their best to avoid each other, but with Diaz slyly following Justin to his various soirees, you can imagine this became difficult. Well, the ess hit the eff when Cameron caught her ex-man flirting with the very girl who brought SexyBack, Jessica Biel, and lost it on the poor girl. People Magazine goes on to say the two had a 40-minute spat that included Timberlake transposing Diaz’s face onto a cabinet door and then slamming his fist into it.

But honestly: How the hell is Justin gonna score with the Hollywood elite when he’s got a cupcake-inspired hellion hot on his tails? Though, from a humorous gossip blogging perspective, this could be Hilario Dawson, watching her have multiple public breakdowns instead of doing the what she should be: Lightly sanding her face, learning how to read, and taking advantage of that new Match.com guarantee.

While You Were Placing Bets On The Next American Idol

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  • Shanna Moakler has slammed reports that she’s reconciled with Travis Barker. She’s just slammed Travis Barker– there’s a difference.
  • Jennifer Aniston is rumored to be interested in adopting a baby. Though it’s unclear which one of Brad and Angelina’s kids she has her eye on.
  • Katherine Heigl isn’t happy that Isiah Washington used a homophobic slur to insult a co-star last year. She felt he should’ve gone with a racist one instead.
  • Rachel Ray’s daytime talk show has been renewed through 2010. No joke here, we just wanted to warn you. You’re going to have to deal with it.
  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have moved their family to New Orleans to get away from the paparazzi. In a related story, the paparazzi have coincidentally also moved to New Orleans. Small world.

Best Night Ever for Tuesday, January 16th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, January 16th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best moments of Tuesday night TV, including: Dirt, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Golden Globe Awards Fashion Police and thankfully a new season of American Idol!

…OF THE DAY

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  • THE BEGINNING OF A HILARIOUS JOKE: So, Jennifer Lopez, Posh Spice, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in a car. Tom is sitting on Katie’s lap, and Posh is making out with the driver. All of a sudden, J-Lo exclaims “What the f*ck am I doing here?”, jumps out of the moving vehicle, and is saved by the cushion of thetans surrounding her body. The end. (ONTD)

  • PREVIEW CLIPS: Yahoo TV has some hilarious preview clips up for The Office on Thursday. Here’s a hint: Oscar returns! Uh-finally. (Officetally)
  • TOOT TOOT, MONSIGNOR COMING THROUGH: Looks like Donatella Versace has jumped aboard our Father Georg Gaenswein train, basing her new collection on the clergy. We can’t wait to see hot gay priest models, ya’ll. (Times UK)
  • WALK OF SHAME: Donald Trump was honored with a star on the Walk of Fame. Check out the photos to define the word “tight-lipped smile”. (Just Jared, though we prefer this one.)
  • JUST BECAUSE WE WANT TO: “I love gay. I wanted to be gay. Please let me be gay.” — “Grey’s Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington. (Access Hollywood)

ZARF BAG: He Is So Quick On His Feet!

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There were many, many funny Zarf clips to choose from today, but we always like it when he-she evades those out to capture him. It gives actor Jeffrey Carlson the opportunity to show off those Juilliard dance moves he so rarely gets to use. And — spoiler alert — if you’re wondering “what’s in the vials”… hint: It rhymes with “we’re obsessed-rogen.”

What’s Wrong With This Picture: Piven It Up

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Above, a photo of Jeremy Piven and “Guest”. What’s Wrong With This Picture:
1. Who is that blonde woman, and in what ditch did she shove Jeremy Piven’s mother?
2. That’s no guest, that’s Melrose from America’s Next Top Model.
3. What the hell is Jeremy Piven doing with Melrose? And really, people, who is winning here?
4. I mean, on the one hand, Piven’s a tiny little guy and the captain of the his own smarmy, but then again, she’s just a reality show contestant — and not even the winner. Though, full disclozhe, it was a modeling reality show
5. Speaking of which, is Piven in heels? Because we clearly recall passing him on a New York street (dressed in a Che Guevara hat no less) and he barely came up to our bellybutton implant scar. In the meantown, Melrose and him are the same height. I call lifts.
6. Does he have any idea how annoying and insane this woman is?
7. They were seen making out all night.
8. They deserve each other.
9. All of the above.

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: LL Rappin’ Rosie

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We always suspected thatRosie O’Donnell was an Around The Way Girl. Well, now we have definitive proof.

Is it just me, or does that clip kinda make you like Rosie a little bit more? She just won me over.

PROPPED: Littler Superstar

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Since it’s been way too long since we’ve laughed at a little person dancing on YouTube, we think it’s time to Prop this video that was Dropped by oomsadotcome. It’s Little Superstar meets Tom Cruise… and it’s awesome.

Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

CAPTION THIS: The Missing Link

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After eating the entire Legend of Zelda inspired cupcake-cake, the birthday girl was immediately forced to play 500 consecutive hours of Wii Sports to work it off.

Your turn. Leave your Captions in the Comments now. And for more pictures, click here. (Link link via our pal Sophie)

Butter-Faced MILF Fans: Real Housewives 2 Airs Tonight

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REALHOSUEWIVES.JPGIf you looked up guilty pleasures in our dictionary, you would find three things: 1. Dressing up a pug like a British schoolchild; 2. Chinchilla thongs; and 3. Bravo fake-ality show The Real Housewives of Orange C*nty — County! County, sorry. We can’t explain why, but there is an addictive quality to this show that is not unlike our future addiction to botox and laser resurfacing. If you’ve never seen it, fear not: The second season begins tonight, and trust us, the only thing you need to know is that most of these women are wealthy, and most of them are despicable mothers. Take Lauri for example (Skeletor, left) whose daughter is a spoiled b*tch and whose son spent months in a juvenile detention center while mom demanded her olives be stuffed with blue cheese. (We’ll let you decide if that’s a euphemism for something.)

Then you have your dysfunctional engaged couple, the 24-year-old Jo and her fiance, a man named SLADE SMILEY. SLADE. SMILEY. Or Jeanie, a chubby former Playboy model whose kids are the essence of everything and everyone we hate – except for the 14-year-old stutterer, who we truly feel for. We could go on and on about the highs and lows of this show, but this review sums up the entire show nicely — you really need to see it for yourself to realize how awesome it is to not be incredibly wealthy and/or Re Re Ricardo.