BRAFF BEAT: Zach Still Sad, An Outsider, Preparing For Inevitable Foray Into “Hipster Becomes A Dad” Realm

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zach_braffers2.jpgAccording to People, in the latest edition of the underground indie alt punk zine Parade, angst-ridden filmmaker Zach Braff opines on his vague feelings of sadness, being an “outsider” in Hollywood who has no famous friends and only wears sweatpants, and the next chapter in his “pseudo-hipster guy handles inescapability of adulthood like a whiny baby” oeuvre:

“I think I suffer from some mild depression…So to have millions of people go, ‘I watched your movie and related’ was the ultimate affirmation that I’m not a freak.”

Braff, 31, who wrote and directed Garden State, says that he stands out in Hollywood – and he doesn’t mind. “I don’t have any famous friends other than the guys I work with on Scrubs, he says. “I don’t care about image and all that nonsense. I’m in sweat pants every day. I don’t play the game at all.”

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“If I’m going to have kids, how will that change things? I like to think that all of the introspection leads to something really funny.”

If Zach ever manages to pull himself out of that black hole of melancholy he’s currently stuck in, it sounds like he might treat us to a Pursuit of Happyness sequel in which a thirtysomething indie dude finds out he’s the father of an 8 year-old and must learn to grow up together, an internal journey told mostly through slow-motion camera dollies into Braff’s uncertainty-stricken face, all so perfectly underscored by meaningful sounds of The Decemberists’ latest album. I’m not even joking.

HOT, NOT OR DEAD: Steven Tyler

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Let’s play a round of “Hot, Not or Dead”, where you, our readers, decide if a celebrity is hot, not or, actually, dead. Today’s contestant: Steven Tyler. So, folks, is he hot, not, or dead?

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For the record, that’s not his daughter. Via TMZ.

TRAILER MIX: Like The Cutting Edge, Except Not So Gay

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Here’s the trailer for Blades of Glory, the new figure skating comedy starring Will Ferrell and that guy who played Napoleon Dynamite and I can’t believe still gets acting work. Like most Ferrell movies, this looks like it’s either going to be tear-your-face-off hilarity or an incoherent series of gags involving Will running around in his underwear and screaming. I’m leaning towards the former, but take a look and tell us what you think!

Liveblogging the Golden Globes!

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GOLDENGLOBES.jpgFor those people planning on toasting a box of Pop Tarts while doing shots of vanilla vodka, plopping down on your couch, and watching the Golden Globe Awards alone tonight, take heart: I bought a brand new gown (of the flannel, butt-flapped variety), borrowed some jewelry (my roommates harmony ball), and will be liveblogging the Golden Globe Awards all night long. (or until 11 pm when they end.)

Here’s to hoping that the audience is completely sh*t-faced (they usually are) so that my job gets a little bit easier. And get this! Arnold Schwarzenegger is presenting an award! Five bucks says he holds the trophy up to his head, telling the crowd “It’s naht a tumah!” (Let me know where I can Paypal you.) Join BestWeekEver.tv tonight at 8 pm for non-stop commentary and, likely, outrage. It’s our favorite fake awards show!

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Overcoming Adversity

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stompyard.jpg1. If Step Up, Take the Lead and Save the Last Dance left you craving yet a little more “overcoming adversity through the miracle of dance” feeling, you’re in luck, because now there’s this$22 million

2. Thanks to all the money this movie has made, we can expect to see “Ben Stiller and Robin Williams having zany hijinx overcoming wacky adversities one would not expect” movies for a long time to come – $17.1 million

3. Nothing makes my cold heart melt quite like watching a man overcoming adversity through the pursuit of happiness, no matter how it’s spelled – $9.1 million

4. And who doesn’t love the classic “overcoming adversity through the power of pure fame-whoring star wattage (and Eddie Murphy)” picture? – $8.1 million

5. But for me, it all goes back to the pinnacle of the form, the “idealistic educator is forced to use unconventional teaching methods in order to help a class of violent, unruly drug dealers and gang members from the hood overcome adversity” movie – $7.1 million

ICYMI: Jake Gyllenhaal Is Comfortable With His Sexuality

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We are proud to announce that Jake Gyllenhaal has finally broken his live sketch comedy cherry, hosting Saturday Night Live and giving the world 2 coveted tickets to his ever-expanding gun show. And in a bid to make us love him slightly more, Gyllenhaal treated us to a high pitched, strangely erotic song performance from the motion picture you must see, Dreamgirls. We’re not going to point to any conspiracies (check out Queer Beacon for those), but we’ll just leave you with this video — likely to be pulled by NBC in negative 3 seconds — and to your own fantasies. He must work out.

While You Were Having A Dream

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  • David Beckham asked buddy Tom Cruise for advice before signing with the L.A. Galaxy. Tom reportedly pushed him to take the money, move to Los Angeles, and stop wearing those bothersome shirts in public all the damn time.
  • Newsweek obtained a chapter from O.J. Simpson’s “fictional” book If I Did It that describes how he *might* have killed his ex-wife if he was the murderer. The pages were mailed to them in an anonymous envelope labeled “If I Wanted To Drum Up Publicity For My Book/Confession, Here’s How I’d Leak A Few Pages.”
  • Kelly Osbourne says being Ozzy’s daughter ruined her pop career Because her average looks and subpar voice would’ve taken her so much further if her daddy wasn’t a famous musician. Naturally.
  • Britney Spears and her new boyfriend reportedly spent the night together in the $40,000/night Hugh Hefner suite at the Palms in Vegas. Coincidentally, K-Fed spent the night passed out with a Playboy magazine open across his face on his friend’s couch in Fresno.
  • Jimmy Fallon says he’s done performing good deeds after a recent act of heroism went unappreciated. America now desperately waits for Jimmy to announce he’s done performing, period, after his recent act of awfulness went unappreciated in Taxi.

Best Night Ever for Sunday, January 14th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, January 14th! Desiree Burch is here to walk you through the best moments of Sunday night TV, including: Extras, Desperate Housewives, Beauty and the Geek, and part one of the 4 hour premire of 24!

Best of the Best Week Ever

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HERESY!: A Nipplistic Abomination Before God On The CW, Hellfire And Brimstone To Follow

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nipgategeek.jpgTVGasm has blown the lid off the CW Nipplegate Scandal of ’07 with exclusive pictures of lthe 1/100th of a nipple that managed to slip into last night’s episode of Beauty and the Geek on account of some very poor camera framing. As a survivor of the Janet Jackson Superbowl Mammary Crisis of ’04, I will not stand for this flagrant assault upon decency – it shakes the very foundation of the standards and practices we hold dear as a nation, and it will NOT be tolerated. Now is the time to pick up your pens and write your representatives demanding swift justice to the heathens who allowed this sliver of an areola to find its way into the minds of America’s children.