A few months ago, we told you about Hollywood’s burial of Idiocracy, the new film from Office Space director Mike Judge that barely saw the light of day before being inexplicably jerked from theaters. Well, the movie’s now available on DVD and I watched it a couple of nights ago. Basically, it’s a sci-fi satire about American society 500 years in the future, in which our entire country has been taken over by total dumbasses – and considering the state of things today, this comedic vision of the future ends up being both frightening and sad. The movie is slapsticky and over the top at times, but overall very funny and worth a look. Here’s the hilarious intro (language slightly NSFW):
For the past couple of days I’ve avoided posting this video of Mary-Kate Olsen’s *starring* role in the new film Factory Girl. I just felt bad picking on a young girl who had her part cut out of a movie and now has to live with the embarrassment of only appearing as an extra in a single party scene. But then I remembered it was Mary-Kate Olsen… bitch is worth something like a billion dollars. It’s time to rock and roll.
I think she nailed it, don’t you? Make sure you check her out in Pirates of The Caribbean 3- I hear she’s totally convincing as “Sword-Wielding Pirate #3.”
- While dining at an upscale restaurant, Dina Lohan showed off her old school whoring techniques when she let her date fondle her under the table to the shock and horror of nearby diners, once again proving that Lindsay is only an apprentice to this Sith Lord of sleaziness.
- Having grown bored of neglecting her own children, Britney Spears has adopted a puppy she will be too busy partying with unemployed rap moguls to actually take care of.
- Paris Hilton’s sidekick (the human, not the phone) Kim Kardashian reportedly appears with an R&B singer in a graphic sex tape with a “golden shower” at the end. Wow, I know these girls are spoiled and all, but a shower made of gold? Seems sort of excessive.
- Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have officially confirmed their split in a joint statement. He said, “It’s over, yo” and she was like, “But why”, then he’s all, “Because you’re old and every chick in the world wants to bone me”, to which she quietly responded, “Ok.”
- In an as-yet-untitled new reality show, four dudes who used to be in the boy bands N*SYNC, 98 Degrees, LFO and Color Me Badd will live together for a month, try to create new music, and put on a show performing together. That is if they find the time between gelling their hair and having sex with each other.
Itâ€™s Best Night Ever for Thursday, January 11th! Mindy Raf is here to walk you through the best moments of Thursday night TV, including: Smallville, The Office, Scrubs, The OC, and Nashville Star!
- AMERICAN IDOL: The 8-year-old boy who caught a glimpse of Jessica Alba in a bikini is having the best life ever. Now if only he understood why. (DoubleViking)
- HUMAN TOILET: Kim Kardashian allegedly engages in water sports on her rumored sex tape. And just like that, Paris Hilton becomes the “classy” friend.(IDLYITW)
- PRIVACY SHMIVACY: I don’t care if John Mayer is a private person– if you’re dating Jessica Simpson, it’s your duty to start bragging. To EVERYBODY. (A Socialite’s Life)
- SURPRISE SURPRISE: O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend allegedly dumped him because he was paranoid and jealous. Let’s jump ahead a bit and report this before anybody else– O.J. Simpson murders another white woman! (Celebitchy)
- F YOU BALTIMORE: The language is NSFW… which is why this is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Enjoy. (Collegehumor)
Your wish is my command! Here is yet another clip from our new favorite show, All My Children, and what we consider to be the best two-worded line read of 2007. It’s no “I Have a Penis” (and what is?), but it’s better than nothing.
Nobody hates fratty drinking games more than myself (not including this past Thanksgiving, when I was roped into a game of beer pong against my will, mind you, only to find that I had a preternatural talent for landing neon balls in faraway cups, a skill you would think I had learned back in college, but then you would be mistaken as I went to a school full of anti-frat nerds. Point being I hated beer pong until I actually tried it, and now it’s “not so bad.” This information shall, of course, not be repeated.)
Moving along, it wasn’t until earlier today that a drinking game so caught our fancy that we were forced to pour the current martini we were nusring in some urine sample cups and down them right here at our desk. The game is called DRINKO, a play off of The Price Is Right‘s Plinko (Best Game Ever? Yes.) The game is simple: Drop a little colored chip (which you presumably win from a tiny lazy-susanned price game run by a blonde dwarf) into the pegs, watch as it works its way down the board and lands in a shot, remove chip, and drink shot.
The saddest thing about this whole affair? The Drinko Amazon.com page has only one related search: Father’s Day. Sob. Double sob? Target has stopped selling it. Where the hell can a damn young lady buy Drinko these days? We wanna try to get in a few rounds with Bob Barker before he… you know… “goes.” (via TVTattle)
More high res shots here if you dare.
Are you in dire need of 13 new MySpace “friends”? Of course you are. Well, today’s your lucky day.
douchebags contestants of VH1’s ridiculously popular show I Love New York have all set up MySpace pages, and you can find their profiles over at Young, Black, and Fabulous. I recommend you check out Mr. Boston first. Not only does he look and sound like Tom Brady if everything went wrong, but his “Who I’d Like To Meet” is perfect. Oh, and don’t waste your time visiting Chance’s page; it’s actually harder to understand than he is.
After visiting their pages and sizing up the suitors, let us know who you think New York is going to end up with. After discovering that Onix’s profile song is “Slam” by Onyx, I’m pulling for him now. I loved that song… when I was 13.
Lindsay Lohan is running through the streets in a bikini while smoking a cigarette because…why?
(pic via Yeeeah!)