ICYMI: “I Just Called…Oy Vey…I’m Sorry”

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colbertjew.jpgOn Tuesday night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen decided to celebrate Yom Kippur by inviting viewers to apologize, via his special “Atonement Hotline”, for all the ways they’ve wronged him this year. Colbert holding up a white rotary phone with a Star of David on it made for a pretty good bit, but the really funny thing is that it turns out the number (1-888-OOPS-JEW) actually works, and you can leave him your very own apology message which may or may not end up being played on the show. Got anything you’re feeling guilty about that you’d like to unburden upon the empathetic ears of a man known for his unwavering truthiness? We’re looking at you, Mel Gibson.

(via Pop Candy)

ICYMI: Paul F. Tompkins on the Screech Sex Tape! Not Literally!

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PFT.JPGBest Week Ever‘s “Most Nattily Dressed Man”, Paul F. Tompkins, made an appearance on MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olberman last night, do discuss — what else — the Screech Sex Tape. While the two avoided making any mentions to they “rhymes with Flirty Fanchez”, Tompkins makes an excellent point: “If you’re with Screech, holding a threeway together is not easy. This girl’s starting to sober up, this girl’s passed out…” Those poor, poor things. Watch the entire video here!

YOUTUBULAR: Little Superstar Will Rule The World

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Everybody and their mother has seen this Youtubular video of a tiny (Latino? Asian? Indian? Norwegian?) midget popping and locking floating around the internets this week. Well, for those of you who just can’t get enough of Little Superstar, here’s some more. This time, instead of dancing, he’s slapping the hell out of a man. Enjoy it now; it’s only a matter of time before this guy becomes the next Chuck Norris. You’ll see.

Link via Gorillamask

While You Were Googling “Screech + Sex Tape”

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  • Jessica Simpson’s dad, Joe, wants to “beat the crap” out of Bam Magera for bragging that he slept with Jessica.. Because nobody is allowed to talk about having sex with his daughters but him, dammit!
  • Charlie Sheen is set to become TV’s highest-paid sitcom star for his role on Two And A Half Men. Friends, family, and local L.A. whores are incredibly excited about the news.
  • Analysts estimate that MySpace could be worth $15 billion within three years. Suddenly Tom just got a little more attractive, didn’t he ladies?
  • Rod Stewart has vowed to get a vascectomy after he fathers one more child. No joke here; just included it because we wanted you to think of a 107-year-old Rod Stewart having sex. You’re welcome.
  • Pete Doherty, who has vowed to stay clean for girlfriend Kate Moss, was spotted shopping for syringes just 15 hours after leaving rehab. When confronted he responded, “I meant to say I’ll keep my syringes clean for Kate. It’s a start.”

…OF THE DAY

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  • SEX MOVE: “The Dick Belding”. Try it tonight! (BWE.tv)
  • MUST HAVE MEMORABILIA: K-Fed’s resume, if you’re a true collector. (Rolling Stone)
  • HALLOWEEN COSTUME: Lt. Jim Dangle of the Reno PD. Those short shorts will give people nightmares far worse than Elm Street. (CC Insider)
  • INDIE DONNY & MARIE: Rocker Jeff Tweedy is a little bit funny, and comedian Fred Armisen is a little bit rock & roll! (Scenestars)
  • TRAGIC LESSON: “Just say no” to letting Anna Nicole Smith be your mother. (People)

ICYMI: The 39-Year-Old Virgin On Tyra

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Tyra Banks is all about making dreams come true. On today’s Tyra Banks Show, she got a member of her studio audience* to come on stage and make out with a 39-year-old virgin who had never even kissed a woman before. Not bad. On that note, I think it’s time I admit that I’ve never given a woman a Dick Belding before. Come on Tyra, hook a brother up!

*by ‘audience member’ we mean ‘paid actress’ in all likelihood. Come on. Nobody’s that friendly.

Gucci’s Fall Collection: As Designed by Uli Herzner

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Maybe Project Runway contestant Uli Herzner is a little ahead of her time. Take a look at some of the dresses from Gucci’s Spring Collection from Milan Fashion Week, and tell me “zat zey wouldn’t be puh-fect for, you know, ze night out in Miah-mi, by ze pool, or in St. Tropez, on ze beach.” These dresses scream Uli.

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Read more…

BWE PHOTOSHOP CONTEST: Billy Bob’s Board For Scoundrals

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Thanks to Jake for sending us this BillyBob photoshop submission. The contest is underway and we’ve already gotten a bunch of great ones. Now it’s your turn. Click here to get a blank board to work with, then email your submissions to contests@bwe.tv. We’ll post our favorites throughout the week and on Friday hand out a prize to the best of the best. We mean it this time.

Good luck!