You might not have heard, but there’s this little movie called Borat opening today. We still can’t decide whether or not we’re going to see it. But now that people are incapable of recognizing the difference between the Kazakhstani reporter and some dude in LA with too much free time and not much creativity, we’re gonna go ahead say Borat’s prostitute-pulled wagon is curring sailing its way over the proverbial shark. (via Defamer)
Ebay has always been a treasure trove of brilliance, but the following listing may take the mud chocolate cake. One crafty seller is hand-sculpting a figurine called The Bathroom Man, featuring a small porcelain man on a small porcelain toilet taking, one would assume, a large hearty dump. The buying incentive — as though there wasn’t one already — is that you send in your picture and he sculpts YOU sitting on the toilet! (Can you say perfect Bridesmaid’s Gift?) In order to prove his sculpting skillz, the seller chose to model a Bathroom Man example after (who else?) Christian Bale. And frankly, we don’t know why, but this makes perfect sense to us. In fact, we’d rather buy Christian Bale on the toilet than ourselves! (Though Ralph Fiennes pinching a loaf would also rank highly.) And for only $139.99, what’s not to love??
I couldn’t think of a better way to spend 6 minutes on a Friday morning than watching this– the first 1/2 dozen minutes of the new Tenacious D movie. Let the Borat-esque viral marketing begin!
Link via Gorillamask
It is a scourge that plagues various neighborhoods in New York City: Bedbugs. Little, nearly invisible bugs that infest everything in one’s home, from beds, to furniture, to clothes. It has had us paranoid for a couple of years, to the point that when some plebe brushes against us on the subway, we click our tongues, let out an “uch”, and then slime ourselves with 625 oz. of Purell (we can’t wait until that pre-natal look is in fashion). Then you can imagine our disgust this morning upon learning that SNL alum Maya Rudolph and director hubby P.T. Anderson are suing their landlords for bedbugs in their loft. And the even worse part: It’s in the news! The couple was required to flee their apartment with their year-old baby and leave everything behind, as the elevator was broken. Now, they’re seeking for nearly half a million dollars in damages and for loss of all contact with friends and family. (We’re assuming.) (Pause for furious paranoidal scratching.)
Not listed as a possible bedbug-planting suspect, but obviously guilty: Donatella Versace.
Kanye West went from gold digging to stage crashing at the MTV Europe Awards. Kanye was upset that he was… um… upset by Justice and Simian in the “Best Video” category (ed. note: wouldn’t you be a bit disturbed if you lost to somebody named Justice and Simian too? Ew.) Kanye handled the loss with the grace and dignity we’ve come to expect from him.
“F*ck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J&S), but hell man.”
We happen to completely agree with Mr. West. How could something with Pamela Anderson in it NOT win something? There’s a reason Baywatch won all those Emmys in the 90′s. There’s a reason Barb Wire took home an Oscar AND a Golden Globe Award in 1996. And there’s a reason the Pam & Tommy sex tape won the hearts of millions of boys and girls across the globe. The woman is a proven winner.
And don’t even get me started on the canyons and sh*t.
- For this installment of Horrifying Anna Nicole Smith News of the Day, we confirm that Mommy Dearest was taking drugs while pregnant, that Larry Birkhead is the real father, and that her dearly departed son Daniel was on more drugs than we originally thought. Tune in tomorrw when we reveal the recipe Anna is planning to use to eat her newborn baby.
- Wesley Snipes has reportedly reached a settlement with the IRS and is expected to return stateside soon. So if you’re keeping score, you should always bet on black AND a movie star’s inability to exist outside of American luxury for any more than a week or so.
- Is Brangelina pregnant again? And if so, can Africa withstand another onslaught of celebrity so soon after Madonna’s raping and pillaging of its children?
- If you’re looking for a way to kill your boner on Monday around 4pm, Kirstie Alley will be on Oprah wearing a bikini.
- When Bo Duke from The Dukes of Hazzard starts getting shot at, for no reason, in Alabama, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that this country could use stricter gun control laws.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, November 2nd! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including The Office, The O.C., Grey’s Anatomy, and Ugly Betty!
Check out Dan’s sports blog, Teapot Dome Scandal
- XMAS TREAT: Little Jimmy will think you’re the coolest Dad on the block this Christmas when you wrap his red firetruck in “Rapping Paper”, giftwrap with rap lyrics on it: “If there was a problem yo I’d solve it. Check out this hook while the DJ revolves it.” Don’t forget to say Word to your Mother, Jimmy. (Si Hill Design via BoingBoing)
- STORY ARK: The first trailer for Evan Almighty is out. At first it’s like “Steve Carell and animals? Sounds High-larry Clinton!” Then you watch the trailer and it’s like “Criiiiinge.” (AOL Movies)
- 3 MONTHS OF HOBRIETY: Lindsay Lohan has been spotted with a “Ninety Days” AA chip around her neck, indicating how long she’s been sober (side note: Pshhhyeah.) T-minus-4-Days til Claire’s stockpiles them in every color. (Faded Youth)
- GESTURE: Tonight, sit down and take a few minutes to send Jay Leno a thank you note for turning down the opportunity to host the Oscars. (E! Online)
- RETCH GIRLS: Katherine McPhee continues schooling America on shark jumping, telling Nicole Richie to call her if she needs support for her eating disorder. (Star Magazine)
- CLIPGASM: The O.C. is on tonight. Sans Mischa Barton. Watch this clip reel and never forget. (TVGasm)
Here are some of today’s most memorable pictures. Click the orange “left and right” arrows to flip through them all.
- Close the curtains, swathe yourself in cashmere, and listen to 9 Crimes off of the new Damian Rice album over at Curiously Tasty.
- Did someone say “Jazz reinterpretation of the best song of all time, November Rain“? Undomondo just did. (Warning: The original’s better.)
- If you’re curious as to what exactly Brazilian Electronica means, You Can Call Me Betty tries to explain. Note: It’s not a hairless robot army.
- Post Mod Sky puts together an awesome playlist of covers, including The Editors interpretation of the Gorillaz‘ Feel Good Inc.
- Idolator breaks down the hottest band of the moment, 120 Days. They had us at “not every song is written for a laser show.” Mmmm, retinal cancer.