Mel Gibson’s Grass-Roots-ography

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apoc.jpgThe LA Times is reporting that Mel Gibson has launched a grass-roots marketing campaign to garner the support of Latinos and Native Americans for his upcoming film Apocalypto, which depicts the fall of the Mayan Empire. Gibson is clearly banking on the hunch that the growing US Hispanic population, along with the handful of Native Americans we have left, will be interested enough in their sort-of-but-not-really ancient ancestors to give Mel’s latest epic the box office boost he needs to get his post Jew-hating career back on track. Let’s take a look at a few of Mel’s previous grass-roots campaigns to determine his chances of success:

Movie: The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Mel’s Marketing Challenge: “Hmm, it’s a movie about a guy getting tortured relentlessly by evil Jews for two and half hours, and it’s all filmed in a language that hasn’t been spoken for two thousand years.”
Grass-Roots Strategy: “I’ll convince millions of gullible people they’ll go to hell or whatever unless they go see it, over and over, bringing a friend along each time.
Resulting Success: “Thanks for the 300 million bucks, suckers!”

Read more…

PROPPED: Posse Or Poser? A Quiz.

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How much do you know about the people you really shouldn’t know anything about? That’s essentially the question this AOL Quiz titled “Posse or Poser” poses. So if you’ve been holding onto nuggets of information about Brandon Davis, Stavros Niarchos and Brody Jenner, now’s the time to put them to good use. Sadly, I got 7/10 (and even sadder: I spelled Stavros Niarchos correctly on my first try). How about you?

Thanks to sethw for dropping this? Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

The Internet’s Super Sweet 16!

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In case you didn’t know, today is the Internet’s 16th Birthday. And what would a 16th birthday be without a Sweet 16 party, we ask?

The Internet’s Super Sweet 16
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WWW: OMG. I cannot wait for my party to get started.

Google: You look so pretty. Where’d you get your dress?

WWW: Overstock.com.

(They all LOLZ.)

WWW: JK! Like I talk to that broke b*tch. Jeff Bezos sent this to me. So, listen, my Dad –

Moveon.org: Al Gore?

WWW: Yah. He told me to expect a big surprise tonight… I think he got me the Maserati I wanted! I swear, if I don’t get it I will f****ing freak. OMG, U GUYZ, look who just walked in. (They all turn) It’s YouTube.

Yahoo!: Yahoo!

Google: How do I look?!?! (Excessively primping.) How’s my hair?

Drudge: Oh, please, honey, you look absolutely fabulous! (Pause) Well LOOK who decided to grace us with her presence, ya’ll…

Mapquest: Hi you guys!! (Air kissing.) I’m so sorry I’m late. I got lost on the way over here. Bad directions.

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Mac Guy Still Accepted By Apple

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justinlong.jpgLast week we were excited when we read Radar’s Exclusive! story that Justin “I’m A Mac” Long was getting dumped by Apple. We’re not sure why we were excited– he seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe it was because a rep for Long said “Justin’s a movie star, not a commercial guy,” presumably with the same air of smugness Justin delivers his “I’m a Mac” lines in the ads.

Well, apparently Justin’s rep was wrong and Mr. Long is STILL a commercial guy. According to Justin’s blog, “I don’t know where that report came from that said I wasn’t going to do it anymore – I’m literally setting my alarm right now to wake up for a Mac shoot tomorrow -we’re doing some holiday spots now which I think will be pretty funny.” So there you have it: Justin Long IS a Mac guy. And a commercial guy. And, apparently a blogger. Well, you can’t win them all.

Read more about Mac-Guy-Gate ™ at RadarOnline, Gawker, & The AppleInsider.

CAPTION THIS! More Like Geen Simmons

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Dennis Rodman realized that, even in full on KISS regalia, he couldn’t keep the gold diggers away.

Yes, that is Dennis Rodman. And some ladies. While our brains explode, leave your captions in the comments! (pic via Deadspin)

LISTEN UP: All You Can Eat

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  • All Things Go posted an unbelievable hip-hop mixtape today, complete with printable album art. So head over there for a mix that includes Clipse, Outkast, the Wu-Tang Clan, T.I. and so much more.
  • But you know what that mix was missing? The Fat Boys. Luckily, today >bounce/oz posted 5 tracks from everybody’s favorite rotund rappers.
  • Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands also has a mix today, only theirs includes M. Ward and Death Cab For Cutie.
  • Jarvis Cocker’s solo album “drops” in the U.K. today, which is why you should visit ThaBombShelter and pick up 3 incredible Pulp-esque tracks.
  • And finally, do you remember Silverchair? We do… kinda. And so does Culture Bully, which is why they have an mp3 of the kids covering Midnight Oil.

A List of Things Oprah Can Give to TomKat

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TOM OPRAH.JPGIt’s been reported today that America’s Queen© Oprah Winfrey has not been invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes‘ wedding in Rome. We’re not sure why this is such a revelation — perhaps in some cultures jumping on one’s couch is a symbol of everlasting loyalty and friendship — but it doesn’t seem like Oprah minds all that much. In fact, she appears much more perturbed about what to give to the happy couple as a wedding gift! Well, fear not, Oprah. We’ve put together a handy little gift-giving guide for you that will make both Tom and Katie smile like the day they became contractually obligated to love one another.

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1. Cuddle Chimp. Double your Suri’s for only $24.99! Katie will certainly appreciate the gesture, as Suri will have hours of quiet fun playing with the toy in her air-tight isolation chamber. Most little tykes give this toy a 10 on their e-meter — entertainment meter, that is!

The list continues after the jump!

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SIZZLER: Katie Blows Three Grand on Lingerie That Will Ultimately Be Ignored

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Katie Holmesundies.jpgAccording to MSNBC’s The Scoop, in the final hours of her life outside of matrimony, Tom Cruise & Scientology’s bride-to-be Katie Holmes spent $3,000 on “lacy underthings” during a recent pre-marriage shopping spree in LA. While this news is most certainly adorable, it would seem that our naive little darling is either a) under the misconception that marriage will have a negligible impact on Tom’s sexual interest in her, or b) making one last desperate attempt at convincing herself that Tom’s “tendencies” can be controlled by $3,000 worth of panties. Either way, we wish her the best of luck and hope that, if the skimpy new skivvies don’t work out, not to give up entirely – there’s always roofies.

TRAILER MIX: Bond Through the Years

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DANIELCRAIG.JPGThis Friday marks a historical day in the realm of swanky British cinema, as a brand new James Bond is released into the wild. Daniel Craig will reprise the role made famous by so many other cads in the new Bond flick Casino Royale. So far, the reviews are nothing short of raving, and Craig is said to bring a much-needed seriousness to the part. But how will the movie stack up to its predecessors? Film site Cinematical has compiled every James Bond trailer from the past 45 years for your enjoyment. The earlier ones are campy in the best way, while those from the 80′s starring Roger Moore look more like a David Hasselhoff production. Try to watch as many as you can to gear up for Friday, and let us know which Bond movie is your favorite. Here’s our favorite one: Goldfinger with Sean Connery.

Seay It Ain’t So

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frat guy.jpgDo you recognize the pleasantly plump gentleman to the right? Of course you do! It’s everybody’s favorite racist frat boy from Borat and the reigning BWE Daily Douche, Justin Seay.

The fine folks at Collegehumor were able to hunt down the cache of Justin’s recently deleted MySpace profile. Studying the page, we learned that before Justin suffered “humiliation, mental anguish, emotional and physical distress” he was just a good ol’ boy like you and me. He looked up to Jack Bauer, loved the NFL and Nascar, played guitar, and didn’t read anything because he “don’t have to.” And, oh yeah, he hated minorities. For some reason he forgot to mention that.

You can check out Justin’s page here. But don’t be too hard on the guy– who hasn’t slipped up and said disparaging things about minorities to a man pretending to be a foreign reporter when they were in college? Everybody does! It’s college! That’s what you do! Right?