It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, November 13th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including How I Met Your Mother, Prison Break, Heroes, and Studio 60!
First things first, we want to point out the striking similarities between Tobey Maguire as “Evil Spiderman” and Hitler as “Hitler“:
Moving along! Forget that other Spiderman 3 trailer you saw a few days back… Here is the super-sized, un-cut, kick-ass trailer scheduled to be released in theaters this spring. Parts of it are still animation only, and while it’s not fully glossed over, this trailer is a welcomed donkey punch to your cerebral cortex. Plus, the last frame is so startling and scary that we kind of can’t believe it’s in the movie.
[removed for legal reasons! feel free to search Google Video, though.]
Here are some of todayâ€™s most memorable pictures. Click the orange â€œleft and rightâ€ arrows to flip through them all.
Meet Justin Seay. This killer college dude-bro is best known for his star-making turn in the Borat movie, in which he gives a tour-de-force perfmance playing himself in a scene that consists of pouring cheap beer down his bloated throat, making matter-of-fact racist remarks about the “good old days of slavery”, and disrespecting women in ways that would make Howard Stern blush. Despite the fact that his dream of becoming the most unlikable human being on the face of the earth has been given a big boost by the box office success of Borat, Mr. Seay claims to now be suffering “humiliation, mental anguish, emotional and physical distress, los sof reputation, goodwill and good-standing in the community” on account of on-screen behavior. Now, I just can’t imagine why Mr. Seay, who so amazingly represents himself all on his own (nice shirt stain, Porky!), would be negatively affected by being featured as one of the very funniest parts of the funniest movie of the year. Furthermore, Seay wasn’t coaxed or tricked into behaving the way he did. He is the living, breathing, eating (lots of eating) embodiment of frat culture in this country (particularly the Southern region of this country), and his special kind of slack-jawed, mouth-breathing, unblinking and unbelievable ignorance is exactly why the rest of us have to deal with so much sh*tty sh*t like Girls Gone Wild, Triple Bacon Double Fried Pizza-Stuffed Cheeseburgers, retarded SUVs, Widespread Panic and America’s Next Top Loss of Dignity every time we turn on a f*cking television. This guy is the Daily Douche because he’s such a total douche literally every single day of his worthless little (okay, not so little) life.
Continuing with our musical theater theme today… You might think that View co-hosts Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth “Don’t Mame Me” Hasselbeck are bitter enemies when the cameras shut off, but it appears the case is the opposite: When they’re not forced to butt heads about gay marriage and abortion, they’re two unevenly sized peas in a pod! So it was with great enthusiasm that they attended the opening night gala of Les Miserables (Lez Mis?), an event Rosie realized needed to be caught on camera for the show. Watch as the two Bff’s drunkenly slur along to “Castle In A Cloud” on the drive over, and marvel at how, when she’s not spewing factless hate, Hasselbeck seems almost charming.
Also, we are definitely buying tickets to this show… Donald Sutherland* as Jean Valjean? I feel my soul on fire, ya’ll.
*Or his spitting image?
Now that the midterm elections are over it’s time to start making some very serious decisions. Namely, who are you rooting for Jim from The Office to get with: Pam or Karen?
Lindsay Robertson and Claire Zulkey have chosen sides (Lindsay = Pam, Claire = Karen) and have posed arguments on each others’ blogs. They’ve even made T-shirts. We already know which one we’re ordering… Sorry Pam.
To read Claire’s pro-Karen piece, click here. For Lindsay’s pro-Pam, click here. And to see John Krasinski singing karaoke on Ellen (just because), click here.
Lance Bass takes a meeting with Prunella Jones, the oldest living Fag Hag in America.
Now you. In the comments. With the captions.
(Wrap your face in tin foil if you don’t want to be spoiled.) It’s pretty much universally agreed that the Cho Brothers are great guys. Smart, sweet, respectful, cute: The Amazing Race is turning into a weekly personal ad for these guys. But their whole “let’s team up with the suckiest teams” tactic seems so backwards and self-defeating we can’t really figure out what the hell they’re thinking! The idea is that if they bring the worst teams to the final three, they’ll almost certainly win the $1 million cash prize. But the reality of it is that they end up running the race for three teams instead of just themselves – the Bama Sisters and David and Mary (eliminated last week). Last night’s episode was a classic, with teams running side-by-side to make it to the Philimination mat. Traversing through Finland, cycling limestone uphill (and how much do you you hate that smack-talking Rob, we ask you?), and a muddy obstacle course all made for fantastic TV.
And just when the episode is hitting its climax, just when you’re on the edge of your over-sized rattan throne, you realize that it’s 8:57 pm. Which is when Team Zoolander cracked the clue ordering them to “KEEP RACING!” If you haven’t caught the show this season, next week is a perfect pick-up episode: There’s nothing like an additional leg of the race when the teams are cranky and running out of steam! Unsurprisingly, it looks like the Bama Girls leave the Cho Brothers in the dust, a back-stabby move we could’ve called weeks ago.
Finally, we are psyched to learn that The Amazing Race has caught on globally! The Amazing Race Asia debuted last week, complete with their own version of beefcake Phil. You can watch the entire thing on Youtube — though it’s been broken up into 6 separate parts. It’s always nice to see the relationship between left-hand driving and a swift kick in the crotch.