SIZZLER: Miss USA Is Officially Coked-Up Slut!

by

MISSUSA.JPGOnly moments ago, Donald Trump made the announcement regarding the future of Miss USA Tara Conner, who tested positive for cocaine, has been seen underage drinking at nightspots around New York City, and even made out with her Miss Teen USA roommate. And the verdict it? Miss USA gets to keep her crown!! Quothe the Donald: “I’ve always been a believer in second chances.” Well, that is just fantastic. Considering that we’ve never known the name of a Miss USA contestant ever before, it seems fitting that Tara should get a second chance — because, frankly, slutty cokeheads are the American way, and clearly, Donald sees that. We can’t wait to see how next year’s winner tops this publicity stunt.

But seriously, do we even need to ask what went on in this morning’s meeting between the Trump and Tara that let her keep the job. Can you say BJ? (Blind Jousting?) Exactly.

ICYMI: The Notorious S.A.N.T.A.

by

This Christmas season, as you get nestled all snug in your beds and prepare to settle down for a long Winter’s nap, you might want to think about leaving Santa Claus something other than some bullsh*t milk & cookies. Something more like 40′s and blunts. Don’t believe me? Then check out Santa Claus: Steady Mobbin’.

While You Were Wishing Judith Regan A Happy Hanukkah

by

    paris sucks.jpg
  • Britney Spears has been voted the worst celebrity dog owner for 2006. And she’s an early frontrunner for “worst celebrity dog” in ’07.
  • Matt Damon said it was weird filming a sex scene with Angelina Jolie because Brad Pitt is a good friend. And in Hollywood people are supposed to do that to their good friends in private, not on the big screen.
  • Paris Hilton claims she’s been celibate for the past six or seven months. However, she doesn’t claim to know what “celibate” means.
  • 48-year-old Sharon Stone and 37-year-old Christian Slater have confirmed that they are dating. People are calling this the biggest celebrity power couple ever (if “ever” consisted solely of the year 1992.)
  • Scooby Doo creator Joe Barbera has passed away at the age of 95. Good friend Shaggy has already turned to drugs in an effort to cope.

Best Night Ever: Monday, December 18th!

by

It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, December 18th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Identity, Deal or No Deal, and Inside the Actor’s Studio!

…Of The Day

by

martha_stewartsexy.jpg

  • A GOOD THING: “The Thumper”, Martha Stewart’s vibrator of choice – it’s elegant AND tasteful. (NY Post)
  • SCHRUTE-INIZING: Here’s a nice interview with Rainn Wilson, better known as The Grinch Who Steals The Office, Dwight Schrute. (PopCandy)
  • CA$H CROP: The market value for weed is over $35 billion, “higher” than even corn and hay. For a country that’s currently trillions of dollars in debt, you’d think our homeboys in Washington would start thinkin’ about slangin’ that sticky icky. (LA Times)
  • BALLS TO THE WALL: When Yahoo! wrote on 22 year-old Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg’s wall that they wanted to give him $1.6 billion for his company, he was all like, “naw, dawg”. (Times Online)
  • ROADKILL: New Orleans Saints QB Adrian McPherson is suing the Tennessee Titans after being ran over by their Racoon Mascot, which left him injured throughout the 2005 NFL season. (The Smoking Gun)

The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #10: Best Celebrity Body Parts

by

10best2.JPGWith 2006 down to its final 13 days, everybody is rushing to put out their Best Of The Year lists. Going from site to site and magazine to magazine to find out what the 10 Best– well, everything is– can get a little tiring. We want to make things easier for you. Over the next two weeks we’ll be giving you the 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006. No need to go anywhere else. Here’s the first one: The 10 Best Celebrity Body Parts of 2006.

10. Matthew McConaughey’s chest
mmcsurf.jpgIt used to be a safe bet that Pamela Anderson would be the most frequently photographed topless celebrity in a given year. This year, Matthew McConaughey took the torch. Rain or shine, it didn’t matter; like a mailman, Matthew always delivered the goods. And he delivered them topless (and probably high as a kite.) (iFilm)
9. Anne Hathaway’s nipples
Celebrity nip-slips are supposed to be a beautiful thing. However, when Anne Hathaway dropped by Ellen and talked about how her see-through nipple pics made her cry, we felt really, really bad. For about 9 seconds. Then we went online and googled “Anne Hathaway + nipple” for the 8,765th time this year. (YouTube)
8. Lindsay Lohan’s ass cheeks
It seems like ages ago that Lindsay Lohan was known for her incredible rack. In 2006 she showed us another side of herself. The bottom side. We miss the good ol’ days.(Egotastic)
7. Clay Aiken’s hand
Clay’s hand was at the center of a big controversy this year. It caused Kelly Ripa & Rosie O’Donnell to fight, and it led to discussions about homophobia and politial correctness. Imagine what that hand could accomplish if it didn’t have such a weak wrist supporting it. (YouTube)

Read more…

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: You Got Sexed

by

Judge Mathis is no stranger to the tawdry tales of those who find themselves in the unfortunate position of having gotten “sexed”, as he makes so perfectly clear in this clip of classic Daytime Court TV:

SAD NEWS BEARERS: John Mayer Takes the Fun Out of Everything!

by

MAYER.JPGOne of the highlights of The Office Christmas Episode 2006 was Steve Carell‘s heartfelt and lovelorn version of the epic song “Your Body is a Wonderland.” It’s the perfect sappy, middle school, dough-faced song to embody a character as clueless as Dunder Mifflin boss Michael Scott. Well, it turns out singer John “Robin Williams” Mayer is totally in on the joke — when asked for permission to the song rights, he declined, thinking they would make fun of him. When producer B.J. Novak explained that, yes, they were going to, but in a cleverer way than most, Mayer agreed under one condition: He Wants a Dundie.

And a Dundie he received, for being the “Tallest Music Dude.” (Though, judging by this picture, we would have given it to him for “Being in Johnny Depp-esque Mode”) Well, it’s not actually any FUN to make fun of John Mayer if he kind of knows that his music sucks! Also, we are very jealous. You can read about his decision on his blog, and feel free to come to his defense musically in the comments section. We’ll keep an open mind for a full 24 hours, so get to it. (Link via TVTattle)