What Came Out Of Britney’s Vagina?

by

britneys baby.jpgWhat would you do… if you discovered… that everything you thought you knew about what came out of Britney Spears’ vagina… turned out to be… wrong?

No, that’s not the tagline for a new (awesome) movie. A Britney baby controversy is brewing, and it has to do with the sex and name of the pop star’s latest offspring. According to The Daily News, some diehard fans suspect the baby’s name isn’t Sutton Pierce Federline since Britney never confirmed it. Instead, they think the baby’s name is actually Jayden James. Interesting. Throw that in with X17′s argument that Britney gave birth to a baby girl instead of a boy, and we have a full fledged conspiracy theory on our hands.

What do you think came out of Britney’s vagina? A boy? A girl? Sutton Pierce? Jayden James? Or if she *really* had a C-section, nothing at all? The world may never know.

[Head over to Faded Youth for even more in depth coverage]

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Blame Blaine

by

prestige.jpg1. First there was The Illusionist, and now this? Could movies about magicians be the new animated talking animal adventures? And if so, is David Blaine responsible? – $14.8 million

2. See, Hollywood? All you really need to make a decent movie is Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and Martin Scorsese directing an adaptation of Chinese smash-hit blockbuster – $13.6 million

3. Sure, the image of these brave WWII soldiers hoisting the stars and stripes over the blood-soaked battlefields of Iwo Jima is pretty iconic – but so is slapping a “support the troops” yellow ribbon flag magnet onto the back of your gas-guzzling Ford F-350! – $10.2 million

4. Wait, what if the animated talking animals could to do magic tricks? Jackpot! – $8 million

5. Talking animals and magic tricks are great and all, but the “little girl who learns how to be a grown-up with the help of her affectionate horse” genre will always be my personal favorite – $7.7 million

BWE SPORTS: Philadelphia Really Is The City Of Brotherly Love

by

eagles.JPGMemo To Philadelphia Eagles D-Back Joselio Hanson: When a teammate is talking to reporters in the locker room, it might not be the best idea to– how do we put this tastefully?– drop your pants and reveal your defensive “back” and offensive “front” to the world.

Who knows how much longer this NSFW (unless your job is cool with full frontal man-dong) video is going to remain on the site. But know this; if your girlfriend comes home wearing a brand new Hanson jersey tonight, it’s probably not because she enjoys his style of play.

Happy Anniversary, You iPod You

by

Five years ago today, Apple introduced the iPod to the American public. Since then, just about everybody you know has purchased one (or two), you’ve made approximately 3-6 visits to your local Apple store to ask a “genius” why your entire music library is missing, and you’ve downloaded more Journey songs for $.99 a piece than you ever thought imaginable. As a way to pay tribute to five years of portable music and obnoxious dancing shadow commercials, here’s the original iPod introduction featuring Moby and the guy from Smashmouth. Man… a lot really has changed in five years.

While You Were Cancelling That Pesky Adoption…

by

BRITNEYBABYPIC.JPG

Best of the Best Week Ever: World Wrestling Federline

by

slammed.jpg

  • Kevin Federline gets body-slammed on TV, and the world experiences it’s first simultaneous orgasm.
  • The latest season of Project Runway finally gets sewn up, leaving us with nothing to obsess over other than the far less-fabulous culinists of Top Chef.
  • Speaking of, The Borat Movie just can’t come soon enough.
  • We introduce “Show and Tell”, our new feature wherein you can find all the ridiculous celeb photos you’re looking for in one convenient slide show.
  • So much douche, yet only so many days.

UsWeekly Exclusive: Watch Man Grow Beard

by

beard.JPGUsing space age technology, a little bit of magic, and some sort of program involving something called “morphing”, the folks at UsWeekly were able to re-create the unthinkable. Evolution? No. The splitting of an atom? No… better.

If you click here you can watch Matthew McConaughey go from clean shaven to full-blown beard in a matter of SECONDS. I S**T YOU NOT!

Since discovering this marvel of modern technology, I’ve watched it approximately 1,100 times. I’m still blown away. How did they go from clean-shaven Matt to bearded Matt in a matter of SECONDS? It’s a mystery. One that will probably never be solved. Thank you UsWeekly. Thank you for going where no entertainment site has gone before.