…Of The Day

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  • A GOOD THING: “The Thumper”, Martha Stewart’s vibrator of choice – it’s elegant AND tasteful. (NY Post)
  • SCHRUTE-INIZING: Here’s a nice interview with Rainn Wilson, better known as The Grinch Who Steals The Office, Dwight Schrute. (PopCandy)
  • CA$H CROP: The market value for weed is over $35 billion, “higher” than even corn and hay. For a country that’s currently trillions of dollars in debt, you’d think our homeboys in Washington would start thinkin’ about slangin’ that sticky icky. (LA Times)
  • BALLS TO THE WALL: When Yahoo! wrote on 22 year-old Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg’s wall that they wanted to give him $1.6 billion for his company, he was all like, “naw, dawg”. (Times Online)
  • ROADKILL: New Orleans Saints QB Adrian McPherson is suing the Tennessee Titans after being ran over by their Racoon Mascot, which left him injured throughout the 2005 NFL season. (The Smoking Gun)

The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #10: Best Celebrity Body Parts

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10best2.JPGWith 2006 down to its final 13 days, everybody is rushing to put out their Best Of The Year lists. Going from site to site and magazine to magazine to find out what the 10 Best– well, everything is– can get a little tiring. We want to make things easier for you. Over the next two weeks we’ll be giving you the 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006. No need to go anywhere else. Here’s the first one: The 10 Best Celebrity Body Parts of 2006.

10. Matthew McConaughey’s chest
mmcsurf.jpgIt used to be a safe bet that Pamela Anderson would be the most frequently photographed topless celebrity in a given year. This year, Matthew McConaughey took the torch. Rain or shine, it didn’t matter; like a mailman, Matthew always delivered the goods. And he delivered them topless (and probably high as a kite.) (iFilm)
9. Anne Hathaway’s nipples
Celebrity nip-slips are supposed to be a beautiful thing. However, when Anne Hathaway dropped by Ellen and talked about how her see-through nipple pics made her cry, we felt really, really bad. For about 9 seconds. Then we went online and googled “Anne Hathaway + nipple” for the 8,765th time this year. (YouTube)
8. Lindsay Lohan’s ass cheeks
It seems like ages ago that Lindsay Lohan was known for her incredible rack. In 2006 she showed us another side of herself. The bottom side. We miss the good ol’ days.(Egotastic)
7. Clay Aiken’s hand
Clay’s hand was at the center of a big controversy this year. It caused Kelly Ripa & Rosie O’Donnell to fight, and it led to discussions about homophobia and politial correctness. Imagine what that hand could accomplish if it didn’t have such a weak wrist supporting it. (YouTube)

Read more…

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: You Got Sexed

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Judge Mathis is no stranger to the tawdry tales of those who find themselves in the unfortunate position of having gotten “sexed”, as he makes so perfectly clear in this clip of classic Daytime Court TV:

SAD NEWS BEARERS: John Mayer Takes the Fun Out of Everything!

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MAYER.JPGOne of the highlights of The Office Christmas Episode 2006 was Steve Carell‘s heartfelt and lovelorn version of the epic song “Your Body is a Wonderland.” It’s the perfect sappy, middle school, dough-faced song to embody a character as clueless as Dunder Mifflin boss Michael Scott. Well, it turns out singer John “Robin Williams” Mayer is totally in on the joke — when asked for permission to the song rights, he declined, thinking they would make fun of him. When producer B.J. Novak explained that, yes, they were going to, but in a cleverer way than most, Mayer agreed under one condition: He Wants a Dundie.

And a Dundie he received, for being the “Tallest Music Dude.” (Though, judging by this picture, we would have given it to him for “Being in Johnny Depp-esque Mode”) Well, it’s not actually any FUN to make fun of John Mayer if he kind of knows that his music sucks! Also, we are very jealous. You can read about his decision on his blog, and feel free to come to his defense musically in the comments section. We’ll keep an open mind for a full 24 hours, so get to it. (Link via TVTattle)

LISTEN UP: Pitchfork Releases List Of The Top 100 Songs Of 2006 You Must Like If You Want To Be Cool

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  • The staff of Pitchfork has put together their latest “Top 100 Tracks of the Year” list, which you will now download and listen to repeatedly lest you find yourself being brow-beated by the rock snobs at your local indie record store.
  • I Guess I’m Floating posts their not nearly as long, not nearly as cool list of the 25 Best Songs of 2006.
  • You can find my own pretentious Best 5 Albums of the Year list over at Scenestars.
  • If you’re looking for a Pitchfork Antidote, head over to The Late Greats, where you will find decidedly uncool tunes from the Love, Actually Soundtrack.
  • MOKB stuffs your stockings with a few bonus remix tracks from Editors.
  • And because we just can’t get enough of the Best Of lists, Rewritable Content has their list of the 10 Best Albums of 2006.

ICYMI: England’s “Kelly Clarkson” Actually Sucks

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We were really excited to check out the latest winner of X Factor (England’s American Idol) Leona Lewis, who has been called “England’s Kelly Clarkson, Minus the Dad Issues.” Notorious curmudgeon Simon Cowell absolutely adores her, most likely because he’s second only to Michael Douglas in the “Following Your C**k Around” Department… but even still, we were genuinely excited to hear her cover Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This.” And, well, we’ve put up both videos for your comparison… Kelly’s version and our reaction after the jump.

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ICYMI: Gays Of Our Lives

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Attention Soap Opera aficianados – America’s beloved idol of masculinity Clay Aiken is scheduled to appear as himself on an upcoming episode of Days of Our Lives. Check out the special “Behind the Scenes” clip below and watch Clay show off his acting chops in a steamy scene in which a man with an eyepatch tries to give the Idol “a ride home” after his show. You’ll have to wait for the actual episode for the tinkling piano music and the dramatic dolly into a close-up of a nearby vase of flowers.

Time Really Needs to Sell Magazines, Ya’ll!

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Congratulations, you guys, we finally did it! We slacked off our jobs, spent literally billions of collective hours f**king around on the net, and our combined manpower became too much for Time Magazine to ignore. So much so, that they named “You” — look in the mirror, fatty, YOU! — their “Person of the Year.” Why? Because, according to the issue, “You” control the digital information age. Well, that… and they, like, really need to sell magazines to idiots stupid enough to believe they’re actually the “Person of the Year.” (The cover will be mirrored, so that you can watch yourself call up your ex-wife and break the big news to her.) Who knew that hours and hours of masturbating to internet porn would lead to such an honor, ya’ll???

*Our condolences to runner-up Kim Jong Il. Hope this cheers you up!!!