ICYMI: FoxNews – “We’re Shady, Deal With It.”

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How could a cable news network possibly be expected to fit something so outrageously embarassing as a Republican Congressman caught having dirty cybersex with teenage boys into their shamelessly conservative agenda? Make the pervert a Democrat, of course! Yes, on last night’s episode of The “Oh, Really?” Factor, Rep. Mark Foley was labeled “D” for “Democrat” on THREE seperate screen shots. Was this just poor fact-checking on the part of our fair and balanced friends, or did the “D” actually stand for Disgusting Douchebag Republican? Be sure to tune in tonight for Bill’s hard-hitting expose, “Amish Killer: Best Friend of the Clintons”

SIZZLER: Hide the Jews, Melibu’s On the Sauce Again!

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gibsonbearddrinkjpg.jpgCould confessed alcoholic and amateur Jew-hater Mel Gibson actually be drinking in public again? Sure, it all starts with a cold brewski at a Texas BBQ joint. But next thing you know, synagogues are getting bombed, people are hiding out in attics to avoid being sent to special “work camps”, and an entire race of people is being systematically eradicated from the planet. If Hitler taught us anything, it is that Mel Gibson should not be allowed access to adult beverages, even ones as seemingly harmless as beer. You get enough of those things in the wrong Holocaust-denying Anti-Semite and you’ve got yourself some real trouble, mister.

PROPPED: Paris vs. Lindsay vs. You

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They’re bitter enemies, feuding famous people, sparring starlets. They insult each other in the press and they confront each other at clubs. They flat out don’t like one another. They’re Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, and they are… remarkably alike, actually. So much so, that they’re hard to tell apart. Here’s a quiz to test your knowledge on Paris & Lindsay. Do you know which party fiend did what? Post your results in the comments (for the record, I went 9/10. I’m incredibly saddened by this. I need a hobby.)

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This game was dropped by SethW. Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

SIZZLER: Vinnifer’s Over! Again! Seriously, You Guys! For Real This Time!

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According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston have broken up again, which is approximately the 57,821st time the unhappy couple has decided to part ways (not including their onscreen split while co-starring in The Break Up together) in the course of their year-and-some-change long relationship. Here’s what the venerable tabloid rag had to say about it:

After weeks of distance both emotional and real, the relationship ax fell the week of September 9 for Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. A source close to Vaughn tells Us that the split happened just before the actor left for London to begin work on his holiday comedy, Joe Clause. “It’s not common knowledge, but we’re not together anymore,” Vaughn told the insider September 13, adding that they solidified the breakup in a long phone conversation. “We’ve split up.” Confirms an Aniston pal: “They’re 100 percent done.”

From the mouth of babes, folks. They’re over until they get back together again.

ICYMI: Alvin, Simon, Superstar!

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Everyone’s favorite smooth-dancing, adult-slapping, chipmunk-esque Little Superstar is back, and he’s fighting again – this time in a tree! If you’re as curious as we were about where in the hell a tiny man of such beauty could possibly come from, these clips were taken from a Tamil movie called “Adhisayappiravi” (say that 3 times fast), and Little Superstar’s actual name is “Thavakalai”, which means “Frog”. BONUS: Yet another fight scene is available after the jump (Little Superstar is apparently the Chuck Norris of South Asian action films)!

Read more…

While You Were Dancing Fighting With The Stars

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  • Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both filed police reports early this morning; each celebrity claiming they were assaulted. Shanna allegedly punched Paris. Stavros Niarchos allegedly poured a drink on Shanna’s head. Castmembers from Dancing With The Stars were alleged witnesses. And Elliot Mintz is already spinning the whole thing. This news story was brought to you by the F-List.
  • Nicole Richie has stopped returning Mischa Barton’s phone calls. Nicole swears it’s not personal, she’s just too weak to pick up a telephone these days.
  • Lindsay Lohan was spotted at a club in Los Angeles with Keanu Reeves. Whoa!
  • Ashlee Simpson denies ever hooking up with Nick Carter. Of course, if you were Ashlee Simpson, wouldn’t you deny hooking up with Nick Carter too?
  • Donald Trump thinks Brad’s Pitt’s vow not to marry Angelina Jolie until same-sex marriage is legal was a crafty maneuever in an attempt to remain a bachelor… proving once and for all, Donald Trump is a sleazebag.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, October 3rd

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, October 3rd! Adira is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Dancing With the Stars, Friday Night Lights and True Life: Meth Addicts!

Read an interview Gothamist did with Adira here.

…Of The Day

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  • NEW FRIENDS: Meet Screech’s sex-tape partners. Their faces are blurred, which is unfortunate, but not nearly as unfortunate as leaving Screech’s face unblurred. (TMZ)
  • REASON TO LIVE: Terrell Owens has really been through a lot lately… but judging by what Philly fans are going to throw at him next week, it’s only just the beginning. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
  • RETIREMENT PLAN: Brad and Angelina have hired David Beckham as Maddox’s private soccer coach. He must need the money. (Daily Mail)
  • PROVE IT: Jessica Alba has been named the “most kissable” celebrity. We challenge her to prove it. (Hollywoodtuna)
  • WONDERLAND: Jessica Simpson’s body, which John Mayer may or may not be exploring. (A Socialite’s Life)

PSA: Manage Your Rights

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cricumventdrm.jpgWe’d like to take a brief pause from posting pictures of Paris Hilton’s assflaps for just a moment so that we might direct your attention towards something that actually matters (like, a lot) – today is the official Day Against DRM. Do you know what DRM stands for? If not, you should, because Digital Rights Management is an issue that will effect every single person who uses digital technology, and if you’re reading this, that means you. Right now a few very rich guys in the entertainment industry are trying to control what you are and are not allowed to do with the products you purchase online, be it a mp3 file, a movie, a ringtone or one of the other countless other forms of media that have now become a regular part of our day-to-day lives. They say this technology is to “keep honest people honest” by locking down their music and media in ways that restrict their privacy and freedom. As Boing Boing puts it:

DRM doesn’t stop “piracy” — the only people who get DRM infections are people who don’t pirate their media. You get DRM by buying your movies, music, games and books through authorized channels — the stuff you download from P2P or buy off of a blanket at a flea-market has already had the DRM cracked off of it.

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