“You’re fired!” “Schwing!” “I’m Rick James, bitch!” No, those aren’t just the annoying catchphrases that the awkward guy in your office blurts out whenever given the opportunity– they’re also 3 of the top 100 TV catchphrases of all time.
TV Land will count down the phrases we all know and love over 5 days, beginning December 11th. You can check out the list here. It has plenty of lines that belong (“Whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis?”), and a couple that don’t (“God’ll get you for that”– never heard it), but it’s definitely missing some. Where’s Sophia’s “Picture it, Sicily…” or Seinfeld’s “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”? Come on! What do you think is missing? Give us your suggestions now.
Thanks to reader thednafish for dropping this enlightening – and very YouTubular – clip from a 1980′s commercial from the National Coffee Association. The advertisement, set to the sounds of some super peppy 80′s music, encourages the viewer to become a “Coffee Achiever” – along with the likes of David Bowie, the Cincinnati Bengals, Kurt Vonnnegut, the Electric Light Orchestra, Jane Curtain and Cicely Tyson – by enjoying the “calming yet energizing” effects of coffee as part of the New American Society. Good thing I just finished slamming my second triple grande non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte of the day!
This Thanksgiving, when a friend served a delicious eggplant curry with jasmin rice that was made in a flash, we had to know “Where’d you get the recipe?” Well, we nearly spit the food right back into a baby bird’s mouth when we learned it was Rachael Ray. Most of the recipes we’ve seen her make on her morning talk show include “Take some Doritos, mash em up, and throw em in a Cup o’ Noodles” style preparation. But it wasn’t even her food we disliked so much as her tiny-armed hobbity presence and larger than life Chupacabra mouth. We know we won’t make friend when we say this, but Rachael Ray kinda sucks.
Which is why we were elaaaated when TV Tattle pointed us towards an entire Livejournal community of people who also think Rachael Ray sucks! Called Rachael Ray Sucks, it includes over 1,000 people who agree that she is a “talentless twit.” Fans of Ray should take a look and see if they don’t find one thing to agree on (like the genius invention of a Rachael Ray Mouth Guard.) But seriously, if I have to watch the girl chew one more thing on live TV, I’m going to lose it.
Nicole Richie fired her stylist, who fired back claiming that she left voluntarily, which pissed off some publicists, and blah blah blah, Nicole wrote this on her MySpace blog:
BLIND ITEM: What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?
HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup…
BLIND ITEM: What 26 year-old blogger doesn’t remotely give a sh*t about some spoiled trainwreck celebutard’s idiotic feud with her drug-addled ex-”stylist”, and feels ashamed for humanity that such inane garbage could possibly be considered “news”?
HINT: He regretfully wrote this post.
Post-Federline, we the American public have been forced to accept several different versions of Miss Britney Spears. In the few weeks since her split the woman has re-invented herself more times than Madonna. From the cleaned-up mother of two to the cootch-flashing party girl to the intellectual bookworm, Britney is keeping us on our toes. In fact, we have no idea what to expect next. Tomorrow the paparazzi could snap a pic of Britney dressed like a nun, fighting ninjas or even wearing blackface and we wouldn’t blink. Well… maybe we’d blink a little.
The point is, we’re tired of being f’d around with. Britney… please… pick one. Be classy, be a whore or be… well, whatever it is you are when you wear glasses and a stupid hat. Just be yourself, okay? We’ll love you no matter what (but especially if you choose “whore.”)
It’s so good, you will actually hate yourself for not thinking of it first. Please enjoy this parody of our favorite Dateline NBC feature, whose name will tell you all you need to know: To Catch THE Predator.
Our nerdy step sibling over at Web Junk has discovered a list of the top ten Internet “Viral Vidz” of all time, based on the number of times each clip has been viewed. Coming it an the top spot, with over 900 MILLION views, is the legendary “Star Wars Kid”, in which a portly young fellow wages a suprisingly skilled lightsaber battle against no one in particular (we’ve posted the clip below in honor of his Jedi-like achievement). At number two we have the infamous “Numa Numa Kid” clip, depicting an equally husky young lad (in fact, they could almost be brothers) executing a flawless choreographed dance routine to a Romanian techno song, all while sitting down in front of his computer. And the bronze medal, with 400 million views, is “One Night In Paris”, the hilarious tale of some spoiled whore who allowed a sleazy producer-type to film her sexual incompetence. Way to go, kids!
It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, November 27th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including The Bachelor: Rome, How I Met Your Mother, Studio 60, and Wifeswap!