1. Listening to Wilford Brimley read from a high school history textbook for two hours would have been more entertaining than this movie, and way funnier – $24 million
2. I love movies where impoverished people who are really nice keep getting held down by The Man, but through sheer Willpower and determination somehow manage to overcome the oppressive hopelessness of the American class system. Because, really, that’s how life is – $13 million
3. “Quietus. You decide when.” But seriously, this movie is amazing. Go see it – $10.2 million
4. YES! Yet another movie in which an idealistic educator is forced to use unconventional teaching methods in order to get through to a class of violent, unruly drug dealers and gang members from the hood – $9.7 million
5. I heard that someone is making a musical about the cast of this musical. It’s called Famewhores – $8.8 million
It’s Finding Nemo: Impossible. Coming soon.
Thanks to Tonygarcia for dropping this. Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
Itâ€™s Best Night Ever for Sunday, January 7th! Michael Cyril Creighton is here to walk you through the best moments of Sunday night TV, including: Desperate Housewives, Grease: You’re the One that I Want, Surreal Life Fame Game, and the Donald goes to Cali with the Apprentice Los Angeles!
Michael blogs at perpetuallynauseous.blogspot.com
The folks at Radar decided to take one for the team and dive head first into the wonderful world of breasts. Those lucky bastards.
“With 2007 marking 100 years since the invention of the brassiere, it would seem that boob obsession is alive, robust, and more pervasive than ever…”
Um, ya think? If you want to learn more about why Suzanne Somers had a career, check out In Loving Mammary. It’s quite titillating*.
*Yes, I know that’s a terrible joke.
**Yes, I’m overcompensating. I’m sorry.
Gyno-in-Training Akira demanded a medical school refund when he learned he wouldn’t be seeing a real human vagina for at least another 3 months.
Yes, we know we told you about robo-vagines yesterday, but the above picture still disturbs us immensely. Look at her face! That was literally my expression while watching National Lampoon’s European Vacation 15 some-odd years ago.
Leave your caption in the comments!
We know this video is, like, SO OLD (it was posted on YouTube on December 28th. In blog years, that makes it ancient) but we had to share this video anyway. Here’s the inevitable response to SNL’s “D**k In A Box”– Box In A Box. You knew this was coming.
Thanks to Saphronjenkins for dropping this. Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
Rejoice, America – for today our venerable legal system served justice in a most inspiring manner! Almost all criminal charges filed against Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis for filming underage girls have been dropped. Yay! It’s nice to know we live in a land of liberty, where all men are created equal, and all men (who own a video camera) have the right to ply naive, insecure children with alcohol until they become so intoxicated that they agree to waggle their little breasts around so some sleazebag multi-millionaire can slap them onto a DVD and sell them to drunk frat guys and insomniac pedophiles on infomercials at two in the morning. Not since Brown vs. the Board of Education have our courts so supremely held up the values of what is right and just in our society. Congratulations, Joe Francis – you are a patriot and a hero. Child pornography is legal!