SIZZLER: Cameron Not Getting a D*** In a Box?

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JUSTIN CAM.JPGStar Magazine certainly has a way of toying with our emotions. Today, they have an exclusive report that viral video star Justin Timberlake has called it quits with his girlfriend of over 3 years, Cameron “I Got This Nosejob for Medical Reasons” Diaz. The two spent their Christmas breaks away from one another, with Justin spending time with relatives in Memphis, Tenn., and Cameron celebrating the holiday on the ski slopes, which we’re pretty sure is the first time that term has been used in relation to a celebrity without secretly meaning said person was drowning their sorrows in cocaine. While Star fails to give a reason for the break-up, we do have one secret theory: The Holiday, possibly the only romantic comedy we’ve ever sat through where we prayed the female lead (Diaz) would be hit by a train before the movie’s end. (Off-topic: We’re very much back on the Jude Law train.)

But laaadies! Don’t get too excited just yet!! Because just when you want to believe so badly that this is actually true, Star throws in one quote that makes us question the veracity of nearly every unsubstantiated tabloid report:

As he partied with friends in Senses nightclub in Memphis, the source says, Justin told fellow revelers: “Me and Cameron? We’re done.”

Cancel your legwaxes… we’re pretty sure these two are still dating.

While You Were Enjoying the Primeness of 01/03/07…

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Best Night Ever: Tuesday, January 2nd!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, January 2nd! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night TV including: Dateline, Big Day, Law and Order: SVU, Wicked Wicked Games, and the long awaited tales of an American Gangster!

…Of The Day

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  • SIMPER: Does John Mayer + Jessica Simpson = Simper? Nah… it equals boring. (NY Daily News)
  • NEWSWORTHY ITEM: Does Jessica Alba playing football in a bikini qualify as newsworthy? Probably not. But it definitely qualifies as awesome. (Egotastic)
  • RULING CLASS: Kids today are all about websites with no rules. I’m using this as Argument #1 to allow us to get rid of the stupid ** in our f**ks. (NY Times)
  • REACTIONS: Steve Martin and the guy from Wings share their thoughts on Saddam. Me- I’m not ready yet. I’m still getting over Uday and Qusay. (HuffPo)
  • TAKE THAT: Queen beat out The Beatles in a “Greatest Brit Band” poll. They’re the champions, indeed. (Stereogum)

Paul F. Tompkins: Live, On Stage, and Awesome

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paulf.jpgYou’ve seen Paul F. Tompkins on Best Week Ever. You’ve seen him in Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, Mr. Show, and– if you’re real good– Run Ronnie Run. Well, now’s your chance to see him live. If you’re in New York, of course (our apologies to everybody in the other 49 states.) Paul will be performing at Comix Thursday, Friday and Saturday this week, so if you want to start ’07 off on the right foot, go buy tickets now.

You can pick up tickets here. We’ll see you at the show.

LISTEN UP: Goodbye, Jimmy Brown

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  • Stereogum has the super-secret lowdown on where to find a radio rip of the new Modest Mouse track that’s leaked to the music blogs. My mom would have no idea what that last sentence meant.
  • MOKB has posted the final two tracks from Bishop Allen’s year-long “one EP a month” experiment whose results continue to be amazing.
  • There a remix of Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around” (which may or may not be about a certain pantiless pop singer) over at 24:hours.
  • James Brown may be gone, but he is not forgotten over at Soul Sides. Say it loud!
  • Fluxblog has a live track from The New Pornographers, and some excellent things to say about Children of Men, which this blogger happens to think is the best film of the year.

QUIZ: The Year In Sex

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If you’re a celebrity, chances are you spent 2006 either denying the existence of your sex tape, flashing your naughty bits to paparazzi or giving birth to an oddly named child. If you’re a politician, you either launched an offensive smear campaign or resigned in a fog of scandal. And if you’re neither, you had a whole lot to read about.

And so begins Nerve.com’s Year In Sex quiz. If you’re a loyal BWE.tv reader you should do well. If you’re a pervert, you should do better. And if you’re both… well, you’ll be more unstoppable than Paris & Britney after a long night of Red Bull and Cocaine (the energy drink.) Good luck!

ICYMI: Impossible Is the Opposite of Possible

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Our blogger friend Brian Palmer points us to this hilarious parody video from BWE.tv favorite Michael Cera (better known as George Michael Bluth). While a little “inside jokey” (if you don’t follow Gawker’s relentless coverage, you probably don’t get it), this satirizing of Internet Legend Alexsey Vayner’s “video resume” captures all the rich nuance and texture of his world class douchiness. For comparative purposes, Aleksey’s original video can be found after the jump.

Read more…