Do you just love watching barely-literate high school dropouts awkwardly stand in a circle and hurl poorly-conceived, often non-sensical insults about the mother of the stranger standing in front of them? Well it’s your lucky day because MTV has taken a pro-life approach to Yo Momma, and instead of taking this lame joke-telling competition out to the shed to give it the Old Yeller treatment it deserves, they’ve picked it back up for a second unbearable season of utterly unfunny documentation of the hopelessness of our youth. But wait, this season has twist! They’ve moved the verbal slap-fighting from LA to right here in New York City, and you know what that means – the contestants will be slightly colder as they stand around making asses of themselves to the delight of That Other Guy From That 70′s Show. Wilmer Valderrama, we find you guilty by association of the corrosion of the minds of our children by glorifying the very dumbest of their peers, and hereby sentence you to being today’s Daily Douche.
Here are some of today’s most memorable pictures. Click the orange “left and right” arrows to flip through them all.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing G.O.B. (a.k.a. Will Arnett) go back to prison. Well, unless he attempts to break out again. Here’s a trailer for Will’s new movie, Let’s Go To Prison. AD fans– I’ll see you there.
Let us take a brief pause from the more frivolous topics typically discussed in this space and turn our attention towards matters far more pressing: Tara Reid.
Defamer alerts us to this audition tape made by one Brian Atene for the late director Stanley Kubrick. This is one of those videos that is almost way too good to be true, so much so that a small part of us thinks it might not even be real. Then again, a Google search turns up Brian’s middle school photo from 1976, so wipe that cynicism off your face and for once, learn to just enjoy yourself.
- Indieblogheaven has some great tracks posted today, including a new one from My Chemical Romance and Beck covering Hank Williams.
- Metrodistortion has the tracklisting for the new Bloc Party album along with live mp3s of three songs.
- Zeon’s Music Blog posted some b-sides by The Pipettes, including the best cover version of “I Think We’re Alone Now” since Tiffany.
- Before Danger Mouse was the Gnarls to Cee-Lo’s Barkley he was the man responsible for the legendary Beatles/Jay-Z mashup known as The Grey Album. Head over to The Concert Room and download the entire thing now.
- And finally, speaking of Jay-Z, Nah Right has a brand new track off his new album. Can’t wait to see what Danger Mouse does with this one.
Amidst eye-witness reports of Jared Leto’s confrontation with Elijah Wood at last night’s mtvU Woodies awards show, we have just received an EXCLUSIVE account of yet another violent Leto incident, this one involving our friend Scott Stereogum. Here’s what Scott told us:
- After spotting Jared in the VIP section last night, Stereogum grabs some footage of himself boldly inquiring about Leto’s stated hatred of blogs.
- Jared, perhaps having made the realization he’s actually among the blog scum he so loathes, firmly grabs Stereogum’s arm and begins loudly expressing his displeasure with the question.
- Sensing that the eyeliner-wearing rock goddess might be in danger, a nearby security monkey grabs Stereogum, erases all the data in his camera, and forcibly removes him from the entire venue, severly injuring his left ring finger – his BLOGGING FINGER – in the process.
- Stereogum is now seeking medical attention and, possibly (if it were us, at least) legal counsel.
So it’s official – Leto was on a violent tear last night, leaving hobbits and bloggers bloodied in his path. He probably would have blogged about this himself, if not for the legal ramifications, and the fact that his inujury has left him unable to type the letters “S”, “W” or “X”.
Leto’s violent methods of stopping bloggers could really jeopardize Stereogum’s South By Southwest coverage, but thank god he can still type “Jared Leto” and “Total Douche”.
We never thought Elisabeth “With an S” Hasselbeck had it in her, but already the Law & Order retribution has begun. This Monday, the dimples likely disappeared off of L&O actor Jesse L. Martin‘s face when he learned that somebody (read: goons) broke into his SUV and stole everything (including his luggage, a video Ipod, and “dozens of autographed pictures”, worth millions.) This, only days after the verbal scuffle between the L&O producer Neal Baer and Hasselbeck, who accused the show of using her name for a character that was stalked, raped and murdered. While one could simply “chalk this [robbery] up to coincidence”, we don’t think people give the tiny pipsqueak enough street cred. Forget never booking the actors on The View again: Richard Belzer better be veeeery careful in the next coupla days, lest he wake up in the morning with a used maxipad in his bed.
Yesterday Madonna dropped by The Oprah Winfrey Show to
bore us to tears discuss the controversy surrounding her recent adoption of an African baby. Yawn. Even Oprah looked like she’d rather be watching something else on her fancy flat screen TV.
So now it’s up to you: what do you think Oprah would rather be watching? Click below to get a picture to work with, then send your submissions to email@example.com. The best picture we receive by tomorrow afternoon gets a prize.
And no, the prize isn’t going to be an adopted African baby of your very own. Well… it probably won’t be. Good luck!