LISTEN UP: Goodbye, Jimmy Brown

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  • Stereogum has the super-secret lowdown on where to find a radio rip of the new Modest Mouse track that’s leaked to the music blogs. My mom would have no idea what that last sentence meant.
  • MOKB has posted the final two tracks from Bishop Allen’s year-long “one EP a month” experiment whose results continue to be amazing.
  • There a remix of Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around” (which may or may not be about a certain pantiless pop singer) over at 24:hours.
  • James Brown may be gone, but he is not forgotten over at Soul Sides. Say it loud!
  • Fluxblog has a live track from The New Pornographers, and some excellent things to say about Children of Men, which this blogger happens to think is the best film of the year.

QUIZ: The Year In Sex

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If you’re a celebrity, chances are you spent 2006 either denying the existence of your sex tape, flashing your naughty bits to paparazzi or giving birth to an oddly named child. If you’re a politician, you either launched an offensive smear campaign or resigned in a fog of scandal. And if you’re neither, you had a whole lot to read about.

And so begins Nerve.com’s Year In Sex quiz. If you’re a loyal BWE.tv reader you should do well. If you’re a pervert, you should do better. And if you’re both… well, you’ll be more unstoppable than Paris & Britney after a long night of Red Bull and Cocaine (the energy drink.) Good luck!

ICYMI: Impossible Is the Opposite of Possible

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Our blogger friend Brian Palmer points us to this hilarious parody video from BWE.tv favorite Michael Cera (better known as George Michael Bluth). While a little “inside jokey” (if you don’t follow Gawker’s relentless coverage, you probably don’t get it), this satirizing of Internet Legend Alexsey Vayner’s “video resume” captures all the rich nuance and texture of his world class douchiness. For comparative purposes, Aleksey’s original video can be found after the jump.

Read more…

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Hollywood For the Holidays

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museumnight.jpg1. You know, as much as you love your family, spending an entire week with them during the holidays can get a little annoying from time to time. Thank goodness there’s the gentle escape of the movies, where you can enjoy two relaxing hours of Robin Williams’ kooky voices, Ben Stiller’s hilarious pratfalls, and Owen Wilson’s awkward charm – $46.8 million

2. I really don’t know why the writers couldn’t get the spelling right on this one. Sappy is spelled with an “S”, not an “H” – $24.7 million

3. Looks like this movie was one fat suit (they already had Eddie Murphy, mind you) away from a #1 opening – $19.5 million

4. You know what’s even weirder than a giant talking spider writing sh*t about a pig in its web? Dakota Fanning$15.5 million

5. The Boring Supremacy$14.3 million

While You Were Peeling Yourself Off Your Sheets Like a Hungover Human Fruit Roll-Up…

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  • We know you know, but seeing as we saw his corpse last Thursday and have been haunted ever since, we’re gonna tell you again: James Brown died. Little known fact: The man was incredibly tiny. Baby sized. No wonder he moved so well.
  • Reason #458 You Wish You Had Gone to Space Camp: William Shatner emcees reunion dinners. It should be noted, the odds that William Shatner will emcee your sons Bar Mitzvah for the right price has just skyrocketed.
  • We are a million percent thankful that we didn’t spend New Year’s Day trying to solve the answer to this quandry: Can Beyonce act? The answer: For a maternally controlled cyborg, very well.
  • Vanessa Minillo and Nick Lachey ring in the New Year with a public eff-you-ing of Jessica Simpson.
  • But fear not!! Jessica Simpson was busy throwing attention tantrums in New York, the reward being getting manhandled by “Hand 2 God We’re Not Dating” frontman John Mayer.

Happy F**king New Year MTV!!!

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Vanessa Mannillo rang in the New Year the same exact way as so many other people from coast to coast– with a really bad f**k. Unfortunately for Vanessa, her’s was live on TV (and unfortunately for us, it was an adjective and not a verb.) You can watch Vanessa’s f**k video here.

I really hope that’s not the last time I ever type that.

Link via Gorillamask

SIZZLER: Kate & Pete Decide, “Phuket, Let’s Get Married!”

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katepete.jpgIt looks like the love story of drug-addled supermodel Kate Moss and drug-addled superjunkie Pete Doherty has reached its inevitable climax of not-so-holy Matrimony, as the two lovebirds put down their pipes long enough to get themselves hitched yesterday on the Thai island of Phuket. From repeated arrests to unsuccessful rehabilitations, Kate & Pete’s whirlwind love affair has been the most entertaining romantic comedy since Sid & Nancy – and for that, we wish them the best of luck as man and wife. Nice to see the kids ring in the new year with some old-fashioned good decision-making!

UPDATE: Fooled again – they must’ve just been in Thailand for the cheap dope and lax drug laws.

The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #1: The 10 Celebrity New Year’s Resolutions For 2007

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10best231.JPG10. I, Jamie Foxx – Do hereby resolve to ratchet up my Unending Attention Whoring Tour even a few more notches by making myself available to perform the refrain from “Golddigger” at store openings, birthday parties, bar mitzvahs and any other event featuring more than four people who will look at me.

9. I, Rush Limbaugh – Do hereby resolve to continue talking out of my ass day in and day out on my radio program for people who lack the capability of even the most basic forms of rational thought. I will make every attempt to use my bestfoxx1.jpg ignorant, uninformed opinions to appeal to the fragile emotions of the weak and fearful, and take great care to callously belittle and humiliate all those whom I have deemed “evil” or an “enemy” of my flawed ideals, even if they are beloved actors and activists who have suffered more in a single hour than I will in the entirety of my gluttonous, pharmaceutically anesthized waste of a life.

8. I, Clay Aiken
– Do hereby resolve to stay in this closet, where it is nice and warm, forever.

Read more…

BWE: Christian Finnegan’s What Your Holiday Gifts Say About You

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Now that we’re a few days removed from Christmas and we’ve come to grips with the fact that nobody loves us enough to get us a PS3, it’s time to look at what we’ve received and learn what our holiday gifts say about us. Christian Finnegan is here to help.

You know, it’s not too late to pick up a copy of Christian’s CD “Two For Flinching” for your friends and family. Get it here!