LISTEN UP: Phoning It In Before the Holiday Weekend Edition

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  • The Torture Garden has a WHOLE bunch of rare and live Arcade Fire tracks.
  • Idolator has a bunch of Holiday Mash-Ups.
  • There info about the new Ted Leo + the Pharmacists album over at *SIXEYES, along with a few mp3’s.
  • Roger O’Donnell (of The Cure) has written a “theme song” for Stereogum. Ho Ho Ho.
  • The Yellow Stereo has a Sufjan Stevens song called “Come on! Let’s Boogie to the Elf Dance!” Yeah!

SHUFFLING TOWARDS THE WEEKEND: Seth Abramovitch

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SHUFFLE2.JPGAs a very special pre-Christmas post-Hanukkah present, this week’s shuffler is none other than Defamer Associate Editor Seth Abramovitch. Seth expressed the initial “Oh God, This Might Be Embarassing” hesitation that most normal human beings feel when asked to expose their music library to the world. But strangely enough, his shuffle reeked of holiday spirit, and totally played into our current hush-hush John Mayer obsession! Seth swears it’s only on his Ipod because of a free demo mailer, but we like to believe it’s an Xmas miracle.

Seth Abramovitch’s Ipod Shuffle
1. Jeff Buckley “Corpus Christi Carol
2. Cut Chemist (featuring Hymnal) “What’s the Altitude
3. Bob Dylan “Thunder on the Mountain
4. DJ Shadow “Midnight in a Perfect World
5. John Mayer “Vultures

Now it’s your turn. Leave your Shuffle in the Comments. And remember — Don’t lie!

CRUSH OF THE DAY: Monsignor Georg Gänswein

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Ganswein2.JPGThe NY Daily News brings to our attention rampant speculation in Italy that the new Pope Benedict, née Joseph Ratzinger (which we always read as though George Jetson‘s boss were angry with him: “Raaaatzinger!”) is gay. The main reason? Namely, because Pope Benedict wears red Prada shoes. The rumor has been spreading since the day he took God’s office, when gay talk show host Fabio Canino kicked off his show “with a shot of pink smoke wafting from a chimney at the Vatican.” Apparently, the Pope’s boyfriend is his private secretary, Monsignor Georg Gänswein, the “handsome, blond, 50-year-old amateur ­pilot, ­tennis player and former ski instructor.”

Well. We had to know more. So we Google Image searched him and ohmahgawwwwww!!!! MONSIGNOR GEORG GANSWEIN IS DROP DEAD GORGE! No, all JK-ing aside, the guy is 2-DIE-4. As the Italians might say “Illay Fatchay ese muy puntamento ecstatico”, which actually doesn’t mean anything strangely enough. We gotta hand it to the Pope — well played, my good man! MERRY CHRISTMAS! If he wasn’t celebate and/or into guys, we’d have him stuff or holiday stocking every day of the week! And we mean that literally, because we love small toys.

But for serious, more shots of our new Numero Uno Monsignor after the jump… (with thanks to ONTD for calling our attention to this pressing matter.)

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Some Nerve Personal Ad: SWDJ Seeks Starlet

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DJAM.JPGAbout Me: Tall, thin, mediocre-looking DJ 2 THA STARZ. I go by DJ AM to my fans, Adam Goldstein to my Jewish summer camp friends, and “that strung out guy” in the tabloids. My parents have finally agreed to let me change my middle name to “Music.” Looks-wise, I’ve been compared to John Travolta (if his face was made of wax and left over an open flame), or a Hebraic Ewan MacGregor. My personality is dope as hell. I used to be one of the top DJ’s in LA, until some little skinny bitch dropped my ass… anyway, I was in a band! Called Crazy Town! (We reached our musical peak with our hit song “Butterfly”) You can bet that L.A. will be a “crazy town” with DJ AM on your arm.

Who You Should Be: Famous. Just really, really famous. Partially dead/decomposed wouldn’t hurt either, but it’s not a requirement. Fame Famey Fame Fame. Those ladies interested can beep me at 323-CHIN-DIMP. Paaaayce!

TRAILER MIX: Hard Out Here For A Slut

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Thanks to our dear friend Goldenfiddle for bringing to our attention the first official trailer for Black Snake Moan, the blues-drenched new film from Hustle & Flow director Craig Brewer. An entire movie about a grizzled ex-bluesman Samuel L. Jackson keeping a hot blonde nympho Christina Ricci chained to his radiator in backwoods Mississippi until he “cures her wickedness”? Yes, please!

While You Were Spreading Holiday Cheer

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  • Mariah Carey’s Christmas tradition involves stripping down to a Santa bikini and rolling around in the snow. Because that’s exactly what Jesus would’ve wanted as a birthday present.
  • Miss USA Tara Conner began her three-week rehab stint yesterday. With any luck she’ll be boring and completely irrelevant again in no time.
  • A judge in Los Angeles has ordered Anna Nicole Smith to submit her baby daughter for a paternity test. They’re hoping somehow they can prove she’s not actually the mother.
  • Cameron Diaz says she isn’t ready to have a baby yet because she enjoys sleeping too much. Of course, if I was dating Justin Timberlake I wouldn’t want to get out of bed either. Um. Wait a second. Pretend I didn’t say that.
  • JK Rowling has revealed the title of the final Harry Potter book: “Harry Potter and The… Eh, What The F**k Difference Does It Make? You Know You’re Gonna Buy It.”

Best Night Ever: Thursday, December 21st!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, December 21st! Katina is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, BBC Crown Jewels, The OC, and ET!

…Of The Day

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  • TERROR ALERT: The FBI finally released the last of its surveillance files on John Lennon, who they considered a violent threat upon the release of his single “Give Peace a Chance”. (E! Online)
  • MUGGLE NEWS: Author JK Rowling has revealed the title of the 7th and final Harry Potter novel, disappointing all of us who were hoping for Harry Potter and the Deflowering of Hermoine. (TimesOnline)
  • G33K PRON: Whether this is real or not, you know that visions of Apple iPhones will be dancing in the heads of dreaming geeks tonight. (MacDailyNews)
  • MEDIA OBSESSION: If has anything to do with beauty pageants or beauty queens, Anderson Cooper just can’t get enough. (Gawker)
  • MARITAL WOES: Madonna and Guy Richie appear to be fighting over how many fake children is enough. (Tabloid Whore)

How 2 Spend 2Morrow@Work: 50 Greatest Cartoons

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RABBITSEVILLE.JPGTomorrow will be one of those days at work where the clock will seem to be ticking backwards, knowing that by 5 (or hopefully earlier) you’ll be in three day weekend holiday bliss. Your boss isn’t stupid – he/she knows you’re not doing sh*t. So, instead of minimizing your minesweeper at the faintest sounds of footsteps, why not instead throw caution to the wind and indulge in this list of the 50 Greatest Cartoons Ever, which, thanks to Cityrag, also includes links to each cartoon online. And boy oh boy, there is something for everyone! Opera buffs, racists, frog lovers, racists, boring people, cat lovers, racists, and people who saw things with their eyes.

It wouldn’t feel right to put this post up and not bring up our favorite cartoon of all time, Feed the Kitty (which, thanks G-d, made the list at #36.) If you haven’t seen it, please please please watch it. If you do not shed a small tear of joy, then might we venture to say that you, Sir, have no feelings. Then again, we hate Mickey Mouse, so to each their own.

The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #7: The 10 Best Lists

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10best23.JPGForget about Celebrity Body Parts or Reasons to Hate Singing & Dancing or Movie Cliches– today we’re going to go all meta on your asses. There are a ton of lists that people are telling you to read now that 2006 is coming to a close. Well, here are the 10 Best Lists out there right now. Of course, we still have 6 more lists coming your way here at BWE.tv, so this list may be outdated soon. But as of RIGHT NOW, here are the 10 Best Lists of the year.

sufjan.gif10. The 2006 Gummy Awards
It’s official: being voted Mr. & Miss Indie Rock in the Gummys is like being voted Prom King & Queen… if being voted Prom King and Queen was like, not totally cliche’d and trite.

9. VH1’s 40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs…ever
Because anything with 3 adjectives PLUS a “…” AND an “ever” is totally worth noting. Not that we’d ever watch it (we’re done watching Color Me Badd videos on countdown shows, that was our New Years resolution in ’04), but it’s totally worth noting.

rivers.jpg8. Rivers Cuomo’s What I Liked In 2006
One glaring omission from Rivers’ list: Asian prostitutes. They’re soooo 2k5.

7. Cracked’s Poor Sportsmen Of The Year, 2006
By the time you’re finished reading this sentence, 5 more members of the Cincinnati Bengals will be arrested. That’s something worth celebrating.

6. Christian Finnegan Rates Christmas Carols Of The Modern Era
This list gets bonus points for describing the song “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” as “The very sound of Down Syndrome.” It’s both offensive and completely accurate. How often does that happen?

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