ICYMI: Colbert Makes Nice With The Mentally Il

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Maybe we’re doing this wrong. Maybe we should forget about sanctions and inspections and stop attacking North Korea for testing a nuclear bomb. Instead, perhaps we should follow Stephen Colbert’s lead and give Kim Jong Il what he wants: booze, DVD’s, and a feature film deal. Makes sense to me.

Stewart & Colbert in ’08. Whether they like it or not.

PROPPED: Who Went Under The Knife?

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I’m loving these AOL quizzes. In this latest quiz, dropped by SethW, you not only have to figure out which celebrity had some work done, but also what they said about their plastic surgery. It gets tricky. I scored a sad 7/10… I’m sure you can do better. Post your scores in the comments. Good luck!

Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

SIZZLER: Bizarro Trump Hates Angelina, Lauds K-Fed!

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TRUMP.JPGLast night’s Larry King Live featured an unusual side of Donald Trump, a side where the real estate mogul wasn’t afraid to opine on the likes of Angelina Jolie, K-Fed, Paris Hilton, the good looks of one Mr. Larry King, and some Mark Foley for good measure. We’ve clipped the best moments from the interview below, but if your stomach can stand it, you can read the entire thing here. A rundown: Trump loathes Jolie (including her looks — video footage here), loves K-Fed (who doesn’t?), and finds Paris Hilton “extremely attractive”, even though we’ve been told by many sources that homegirl is fully bald. In other words, wethinks ol’ Trumpy has finally effing lost it.

LARRY KING:. You recently applauded Brad Pitt‘s stance on not marrying Angelina Jolie. I believe you said that you consider everyone — when he said everyone should be married but don’t bug him, why?

DONALD TRUMP: Well, look, number one, I know her father. Her father is a nice guy. I think she treats him like a dog but maybe they have some kind of a thing… I mean this poor sap he comes along and he practically begs her, “I want to see my grandson. I want to see this.” I mean if I were with him, I’d say “Forget it. It’s over.”… I think he’s a great actor and she just treats him terribly. She’s been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby, OK, with the other side. (Ed. Note: Savor that image, please.) And, I just don’t even find her attractive. That has nothing to do with why I said it though.

Read more…

LISTEN UP: Smooth & Sensitive

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  • Fluxblog has The Walkmen’s smooth cover of Harry Nilsson’s “Don’t Forget Me”.
  • MOKB has an entire live set from sensitive singer-songwriter Joseph Arthur.
  • The kids at Scenestars have a tune from The Stills’ first record since 2003′s minor masterpiece Logic Will Break Your Heart. Logic will also dictate your going and grabbing the song.
  • Aquarium Drunkard is cleansing a few Thetans by posting a few rare tracks from everyone’s favorite hipster Scientologist – Beck!
  • I’ve been hearing good things about the latest album by The Decembrists, mostly from bespectacled bookish types that work in record stores, but good things all the same. Head over to The Yellow Stereo and tell me whether the indie nerds are right.

True Life: I Want A Hot Dog, Bitch

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true life.jpgForget about North Korea, Mark Foley and everything else going on in the world. This is the news story of the day:

A Gainesville College student who told police he is an MTV reality show star was arrested and charged with battery for hitting two University students downtown, police said.

University students Katherine Leigh Walden and Sara Elizabeth Holbert flagged down an Athens-Clarke County Police officer at about 1:55 a.m. Saturday and told the officer that the man, Joshua Taylor Hill, asked them to purchase a hot dog for him while outside 195 College Ave., the police report said.

“We said ‘No, we don’t have any money. Buy your own hot dog,’” Holbert said in a phone interview Sunday.

She said Hill repeatedly said, “Buy me a hot dog, bitch.”

I’m not sure what the best part of this story is; the fact that the guy identified himself to police as an MTV reality show star, or the line “Buy me a hot dog, bitch.” Actually, wait, I take that back. I do know– it’s the “Buy me a hot dog, bitch” line. Definitely.

Read the full article here. (Link via Collegehumor)

GREAT TV OF THE FUTURE: The Singing Office

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thickeoffice2.jpgEverybody loves The Office, but you know what could make it even better? Getting rid of its talented cast, replacing them with real-life fame-seeking office workers from around the country with no performing background to speak of, then having Alan “Double Scotch on the Rocks” Thicke lead them in song! Yes, The Singing Office, the latest nugget of genius to come out of the reality show idea hopper, is going to be a watershed moment in amazing television. Maybe they’ll even come to YOUR office so you too can celebrate your mundane, painfully repetitive wage-slavery through the joy of song!

“Ohhh, what a beautiful spreadsheet, oh what a beautiful fax, I’ve got a beautiful cubicle where I do task after boring-ass task!”

Play it again, Dr. Seaver!

PROPPED: Free Jude Kinnear!

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JUDEKINNEAR3.JPGThe third installment of Project Runway is spiralling to a finish, with a winner being announced next week. But some of the season’s controversies have still not died down, primarily the one involving Keith Michael (long-awaited lovechild of Jude Law and Greg Kinnear). Early in the season, Keith was disqualified for bringing pattern-making books with him, something PR producers claimed was expressly forbidden in the official rules.

In last week’s reunion show, Keith came to his own rescue (because, apparently, no one else was going to), accusing PR producers of framing him and planting the books under his bed. Ah-likely ah-story. And thanks to reader roxdy who dropped yet more Jude Kinnear insanity! In an open letter to the Blogging Project Runway blog, JK actually does do a good job of defending himself, first by defining exactly what kind of books he had — not patterns themselves, rather explanations for how to measure things… which still sounds fishy. He goes on to walk us through the casting process, where producers thoroughly searched each contestant, removing any and all items considered banned. JK insists he was used as a pawn in the chess game known as Great Television. And frankly, after reading his letter… we kind of… agree with him. And you?

ps His real last name earns him some serious street cred.

RANT: Say Your Prayers, Eat Your Vitamins, Dress Your 18 Year-Old Daughter Up Like a Total Whore

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hogan1.jpgAccording to our channel, Hogan Knows Best, but these photoshopped-to-death shots of his bareley legal daughter Brooke on the cover of FHM (a magazine for men whose wives and girlfriends won’t let them read Playboy) are pretty f*cking creepy. I mean, they might as well have rubbed sparkly butter all over her, slapped on a couple of pasties and stuck her under a big neon sign that said, “Slutty cheerleader looking for someone to be her daddy”. I mean, it’s pretty easy to rail on pedophiles (political ones and otherwise) these days, but you have to at least acknowledge the fact that our culture regularly turns its children into sex objects. I wonder what the Hulkster would do if he could see the things aging readers probably imagine doing to his baby daughter while rifling through the pages of this particular meathead mag? Of course, maybe they just read it for the articles (this nine page advertorial on bathroom products sounds like a real page-turner!)

BWE CONTEST: Win The Marie Antoinette Soundtrack

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marie antoinette.jpgNo matter how appealing (or unappealing) the idea of Kirsten Dunst starring in a Sophia Coppola movie about Marie Antoinette sounds to you (out 10/20- check out the trailer), there’s one thing you can’t deny: the movie has a damn good soundtrack (samples here). With tracks by New Order, The Strokes, Gang Of Four, The Cure, Air, Siouxie & The Banshees and more, you really can’t go wrong. Well, here’s your chance to win a copy.

Just send an email to contests@bwe.tv. At some point today we’ll choose an entry at random and one lucky winner will receive a copy of the soundtrack. You have nothing to lose. So what are you waiting for, email us now!

For a complete soundtrack listing, click here.

UPDATE: Congratulations to Laurie from NJ. And thanks to everybody who entered. We have more contests coming up, so better luck next time!

One Way To Make The End of the World Hilarious

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Today’s award for best headline relating to the possible end of the world goes to UK’s daily rag The Sun, who chose to honor the impending nuclear holocaust by referencing one of the most beloved WWII musical’s of all-time, The Sound of Music. And no North Korea headline would be complete (Matt Drudge) without the Kim-Jong Il doll made so popular in the hit comedy Team America. Tabloid puns, f**k yeah! (Note to the NY Post: Get your act together. Seriously, this is embarassing.)