We never thought Elisabeth “With an S” Hasselbeck had it in her, but already the Law & Order retribution has begun. This Monday, the dimples likely disappeared off of L&O actor Jesse L. Martin‘s face when he learned that somebody (read: goons) broke into his SUV and stole everything (including his luggage, a video Ipod, and “dozens of autographed pictures”, worth millions.) This, only days after the verbal scuffle between the L&O producer Neal Baer and Hasselbeck, who accused the show of using her name for a character that was stalked, raped and murdered. While one could simply “chalk this [robbery] up to coincidence”, we don’t think people give the tiny pipsqueak enough street cred. Forget never booking the actors on The View again: Richard Belzer better be veeeery careful in the next coupla days, lest he wake up in the morning with a used maxipad in his bed.
Yesterday Madonna dropped by The Oprah Winfrey Show to
bore us to tears discuss the controversy surrounding her recent adoption of an African baby. Yawn. Even Oprah looked like she’d rather be watching something else on her fancy flat screen TV.
So now it’s up to you: what do you think Oprah would rather be watching? Click below to get a picture to work with, then send your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org. The best picture we receive by tomorrow afternoon gets a prize.
And no, the prize isn’t going to be an adopted African baby of your very own. Well… it probably won’t be. Good luck!
The above picture is of Saad Khalifa, host of fake Iraqi news show Hurry Up, He’s Dead. A New York Times article profiling this Disco Stu lookalike gives a nice little glimpse into what tickles the Iraqi funny bone. Like this little ditty:
It is the year 2017 and the main character, Saaed, is the last Iraqi alive. He is lying face down on a beach with a red suitcase next to him. When he comes to, he is quickly encircled by beautiful women. Cut to a scene of Saaed clad in a black T-shirt imprinted with â€œ2PAC,â€ showboating in front of a white stretch Humvee limousine with dancers cavorting all around.
And who is to blame for making 1996 hilarious in Iraq? America, that’s who. Though the premise of the show sounds about 100 times funnier than any fake-SNL sketch on Studio 60, and for that, we salute them. (We tried to find clips of the show on Youtube, but looks like the site hasn’t taken off there yet…)
Here’s a bit of news that’s sure to make your 42-year-old uncle (the one with the bald spot and ponytail) Jump for joy. For a record setting 20th year in a row there’s an unsubstantiated rumor floating around that David Lee Roth is FINALLY reuniting with Van Halen. From MelodicRock.com:
No more teasing. Never tease where Van Halen is concerned…I have information from a highly placed source that Van Halen will likely tour in 2007 with David Lee Roth as frontman.
Negotiations are currently underway to re-unite Van Halen with their original frontman for a tour in 2007 that will take in Amercia and possibly other territories. While nothing in the world of Van Halen is set until the band walk out on stage, I can confirm that negotiations between all parties have been underway for some time, trying to put together a big 2007 re-union tour.
So there you have it, it’s “official.” We’re skeptical, and we wonder what’s going to come first: a Van Halen reunion tour or GnR’s Chinese Democracy? Or peace in the middle east? We’re going with C.
Caption This! brought to you by Stranger Than Fiction, in theaters November 10th.
Leonardo DiCaprio, spotted in L.A. filming his new Bravo Show “Hipster Eye for the Sasquatch Guy.”
Now it’s your turn! And there are so many possibilities… leave you caption in the comments!
There’s an old saying: You can’t please all the people all the time. Well, apparently Christian Finnegan can’t even please himself. Christian’s inner monologue took a break from its busy day to review his new comedy album, Two For Flinching. Let’s just say it wasn’t a fan:
I recently had the supreme misfortune of receiving an advance copy of Two For Flinching, the debut CD by purported humorist Christian Finnegan. You may recognize Finnegan as the least funny person on VH1′s Best Week Ever. Or you might recognize him as the white guy from the â€œMad Real Worldâ€ on Chappelle’s Show, a credit I’m guessing Mr. Finnegan will try to coast on until there are no longer any frat boys left who think shouting â€œYou stabbed my dad!â€ is hilarious.
From our live-blogging perch in a dark corner at last night’s mtvU Woodie awards, we couldn’t see much more than a bunch of drunken college kids screaming “Woooooo!”, which is why we missed this delicious little morsel of celebrity interaction, first reported to us by BWE reader Pee Dee, and now corroborated by another eyewitness report over at Dlisted. Apparently, in between his pretentious acceptance speeches and constant eyeliner application, Jared Leto found the time to saunter over to Elijah Wood’s table and harass Frodo nearly to the point of blows. Here’s what we know so far:
Jared starts whispering stuff in his ear and and occasionally pulling back to look him in the face. Jared then walks away and Elijah turns to his date…and says something. Well something about this must have pissed Jared off because he comes running back to the table, grabs Elijah by the neck and starts screaming at him. All I could catch was Jared calling him a â€œf*cking assholeâ€. He then shoves Elijah and storms off. Bodyguards come up and Elijah assures everyone heâ€™s fine.
I’m not sure what Leto could have against the Hobbits, but it probably has something with their peaceful, friendly way of life being at odds with his own agonized, angst-ridden emo existence. Also, if anyone knows more about this, be sure to let us know!
- The Most Beautiful Rainbow Coalition EvsÂ© is set to grow as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have filed to adopt an Indian baby. Not to be outdone, Madonna plans a gang-breastfeed for every orphan in The Gambia.
- Naomi Campbell finally gets what she deserves, and spends a night in jail on suspicion of assault… until she was finally released on suspicion on fabulousness.
- Residents of Austin, TX are begging Lance Armstrong to clean his prized swimming hole. Hunh, sounds like something Matthew McConaughey wouldn’t really mind either.
- Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Matt Leinart welcomes the NFL’s MVB (Most Valuable Bastard) to the world, with the birth of baby boy Cole.
- Paris Hilton is voted the celebrity the world would most like to see die in a horror movie. No word is she’s in talks for the upcoming Wes Craven thriller Coke-Addled Rexie Debutante Skank-Killers.
Judging by the AbDoer commercial preceding it and Judge Mathis following it, I have no choice but to believe this is a real commercial. No choice whatsoever. Click here to watch it now!
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, October 25th! Lang Fisher is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including 30 Rock, Top Model, Lost, and Top Chef!