OMG! Did You Pelo-See What She’s Wearing???

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Is the Associated Press sexist? In a recent photograph of the incoming Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, the AP felt the need to include a description of what she was wearing in the Caption. Sure, the AP never went into detail about what Dennis Hastert wore, but we actually applaud them for showing restraint while captioning the first female Speaker of The House in history. The first draft looked like this:

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Link via AMERICAblog

Countdown to Bond: 10 Best 007 Gadgets

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Casino Royale is almost in theaters, and we’re counting down the days. One of our favorite things about Bond films are the insanely “high-tech” gadgets given to him by Q, his gadgetry maven. Ex: “To an untrained eye, this looks like an ordinary rolling pin. But pull out one of the handles, and it turns into a combination AK47/Flamethrower.” Check out this list of the Top Ten 007 Gadgets, and note the evolution of cool spygear over the course of nearly half-a-century. We’re guessing this tiny yello helicopter seen above was the ultimate in high-tech when You Only Live Twice was released, and not the tiny, lady-like airplane it looks Sean Connery is flying above.

SIZZLER: Fed-Ex Leaves Britney a Fresnoian High-ku Message In His Dressing Room

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kfedshower.jpgOur friends at Us Weekly obtained this EXCLUSIVE!!! photo of an angry missive from Kevin Federline, scrawled on the shower door of his dressing room after a recent House of Blues show nobody probably went to. Thus spoketh the Federdouche:

Today I’m a free man
Ladies look out
F*ck a wife
Give me my kids B*tch!

You ladies should indeed “look out”. There’s now a wife-beatered trash can with delusions of rap grandeur and a sharpie on the loose. His sperm is powerful, his prose is ridiculous, and he will not hesitate to attack you with life-ruining impregnation should you allow him to get get too close.

TRAILER MIX: Eddie Murphy Makes A Triumphant Return to His Fat Suit of Hilarity

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Not to be dethroned by Shawn and Marlon Wayans in the “Black People Using Prosthetics to Dress Up As Things They Are Actually Not” Movie Genre, Eddie Murphy is back in the fat suit for Big Momma Medea’s Family Reunion with the Nutty Klumps Norbit, and based on what we’re seeing in this trailer, Eddie DID NOT forget to bring the funny. You’ve got your easy Carlos Mencia-esque racial stereotype jokes; you’ve got your slapsticky pratfalls, your repeated references to a pop song that was recently popular, and of course, the tried and true gold standard of the Eddie comedy – the hilariously angry overweight black woman character who’s actually played by Murphy himself. All the elements of a comedy classic in the making!

F*ck You! No, F*ck You!: Diet Coke + Mentos = Fun?

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Before we get to our little showdown, check out the video in question: It’s the “Diet Coke + Mentos” guys on the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday.

Bob: Okay, we get it: when you drop Mentos into bottles of Diet Coke it causes an explosion. By now we’ve all seen it done online… and hell, most of us have even tried it at home. It’s time to move on. What’s done is done. It’s old already. It’s boring. Enough with all the Mentos & Diet Coke on TV. Enough.
Michelle: I think it’s pretty.
Bob: F*ck You!
Michelle: No, f*ck you!

O.J. Hypothetically Confesses To Hypothetically Killing Two People. Hypothetically.

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Hypothetically, let’s say you murdered two people in the early 90′s. Then, hypothetically, a jury of your peers found you Not Guilty despite damning DNA evidence and an alibi with more holes in it than an old pair of gym socks. Hypothetically, let’s say that regardless of the verdict, everybody still suspects you did it (oh, side note: hypothetically, you were one hell of a running back in the NFL, but that’s besides the point.) Wouldn’t you, hypothetically, write a book about how you would’ve done it (if you did it), and appear in a TV special titled If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened. You would, right? Hypothetically.

Well, O.J. would. And he is, during a two-part interview scheduled to air on Fox. Their website already has a killer sneak peek, with O.J. declaring “I don’t think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood,” before breaking down in tears. Hypothetical tears, I think.

So set your TIVO’s for November 27 & 29. Fox has dubbed it “the interview that will shake the nation.” Because “the interview that will sneak up on the nation and stab them numerous times” would be just a little too much. Hypothetically.

While You Were Waiting for Your TomKat Wedding Invite…

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  • People Magazine names George Clooney the Sexiest Man Alive. All of America wakes up assuming they’ve secretly time-travelled back to 5 years ago when Clooney mattered, while Patrick Dempsey is put on a suicide watch.
  • What better book to read on the toilet than a book featuring women making toilet?
  • Michelle Rodriguez is outed as a lesbian. But don’t mention it to her or she’ll beat the living sh*t outta you.
  • And in totally, completely, definitely unrelated news, Eva Longoria will not be playing a lesbian in Sofia Coppola‘s Tipping the Velvet.
  • Because we realize this is turning out to be the most depressing day for straight men everywhere, we’ll throw you a bone(r): Check out this video of Queen Elizabeth walking the red carpet at the Casino Royale premiere! HAWT. xoxo Teasa Gibbons.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, November 14th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, November 14th! Adira is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Dancing With the Stars, Friday Night Lights, House, and Show Me the Money!

…Of The Day

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  • “DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME”: If Borat had that warning, maybe kids wouldn’t be crapping in plastic bags. (Defamer)
  • PLAY NICE, GIRLS: Pink thinks Beyonce is a bitch. If Pink was good looking this would have the potential for a sexy cat-fight. (Yeeeah)
  • HORRIBLE USE OF MYSPACE: Posting videos of little kids beating the ever-loving s**t out of each other. I was gonna make a joke about how it reminded me of being a camp counselor, but the video is just too disturbing. (TampaBays10)
  • DRUNKEN PARTY GIRL: Tara Reid has reinvented herself? Some people just won’t accept that. (Gallery Of The Absurd)
  • I LOVE ROCK & ROLL LESBIANS: Carmen Electra and Joan Jett were spotted aggressively kissing & touching. Interestingly enough, Joan is much more masculine than Carmen’s ex-husband Dave Navarro. (Celebitchy)