Tara Reid, the big-breasted drunken trainwreck and former host of E!’s Taradise is rumored to have undergone surgery to reinvent herself as simply the drunken trainwreck and former host of E!’s Taradise.
According to the new issue of In Touch Weekly, the sometimes actress had surgery on September 7th at a Beverly Hills clinic to replace her implants with smaller ones in an attempt to resurrect her flagging career and her sagging chest!
Sure, Tara’s new implants will help her sagging chest; but her flagging career? We’ve all seen Skinemax, Tara. Considering you’re just a couple of years away from stepping into Shannon Tweed’s shoes for Indecent Behavior 4, you should remember this: On cable TV after 2 o’clock on a Saturday morning, More is More.
We are still quite baffled by the fashion trend o’ the sum-sum, Crocs, the plastic bacteria bootie that combines the sleek stylings of a wooden clog with the sophisticated color palette of a Hypercolor scrunchie. Overweight celebrities such as Mario Batali and Mario Batali (who cleans his in the dishwasher, for real) were seen all over the papers sporting their favorite pair of Crocs, and as the trend picked up steam, so did our hatred for mankind. Radar Online took the time to compile everything you ever wanted to know about these Roy G. Biv slip-ons, and whether you love em or hate em, it only goes to prove that with the right marketing, Americans will stop nothing short of poo-shoes to make a fashion statement.
Oh, and may we add: They’re completely undestructable. A billion years from now it’s going to be roaches in mini-Crocs roaming the deserted post-apocalyptic earth.
1. We smell what the Rock is cooking, it’s just too bad that it smells like a cliche-ridden “troubled teens overcoming life obstacles through sports” movie we’ve already seen 400 times – $15 million
2. It’s mind-blowing how people still call Brian DePalma an “auteur” considering his last three movies were Femme Fatale, Mission to Mars and Snake Eyes. And now this – $10.4 million
3. Obligatory animated CGI movie I’ve never heard of – $6.1 million
4. Who needs to have introspective “What does it all mean? Why am I so sad? How do I make sense of my life? Why is Sufjan Stevens so amazing?” thoughts when Zach Braff can do all that for you in a single symetrically-composed sullen-stare-directly-into-camera close-up? – $4.702 million
5. Obligatory sh*tty horror movie I’ve never heard of – $4.7 million
While sponsors are busy pulling out of Survivor: Race Wars like an unprotected teen’s first time (groan, we know), there is a much more sinister racist beast lurking in the primetime CBS listings: The Amazing Race 10. The Amazing Race, for those of you recently let out of a predator’s underground tunnel system, pits 12 teams of 2 people against one another in a race around the world, hosted by the hottest besweatered man after young Cosby, Phil Keoghan. Each season, the 12 teams are diverse and interesting and autistic enough to create some genuine drama. (The season with the midget was effing geen.) But this season, casting directors outdid themselves in covering every. single. race-base amongst the 12 teams. And (SPOILER ALERT), is it just coincidence that the two teams booted off just happened to be brown people? We wonder. If you missed it, please, peruse the cast with us:
- Bilal & Sa’eed: Two Muslim friends who swore that they would stop and pray no matter where they were or what they were doing. Well, Allah-dee-dah. (Is punning allowed?) When the other teams began referring to them as “The Beards”, we though — Are Katie Holmes and Kelly Preston on the show? And while it would have been interesting to watch them continue in the race, if only to see whether or not they were considered a flight risk, alas they were the first team to get eliminated… We’re calling foul play.
The studio behind Employee of the Month took a pretty interesting approach to selling their movie to “the kids on the MySpace”, with the following ad currently appearing on the front page. I suspected this movie would be full of plastic sex objects who can’t act, but I didn’t realize it was actually hardcore porno…
UPDATE: My obvious (and rather poor) photoshopping of the first panel of the ad somehow made it appear that they were salaciously using sex to sell their movie, which they clearly would never think of doing. For clarity, the ad actually reads, “Dane Cook is HARD at work”, not “Dane Cook is HARD”. There’s a difference. Also, the Jessica Simpson part reads exactly as displayed.
There has been a lot of debate lately as to whether or not it’s too soon to make fun of the death of Steve Irwin. Well, those dying to crack a couple of stingray jokes at your office birthday parties should breathe a sigh of douche-lief, because Norm MacDonald has finally made Steve Irwin’s death humorous. So get out your arrow headbands and sharpen your pitchforks, cause you’ve got a boatload of material to catch up on.
In what will surely go down in history as the greatest rock performance since Aerosmith played Moe’s Tavern, Jack and Meg White made a cameo in last night’s episode of The Simpsons. The appearance, which consisted of a high-speed drum chase (?) and a “Hardest Button To Button” parody proved that Bart Simpson and pals are still on the cutting edge. The cutting edge of 2003. Watch the fun little clip here.
Link via Product Shop NYC
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, Sept. 17th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Amazing Race, and Family Guy!
Tonight is the season premiere of Best Week Ever — so make sure to tune in at 11 pm and the rest of the weekend for your fix. Regarding your alcohol fix: The theme for the show’s “Drinking Game” this week is… “game shows.” So take a sip any and every time a reference to game shows is made!
- Lonelygirl15 fesses up that she’s not the troubled, imprisoned, vulnerable hot teen everyone thought she was, and the world immediately loses interest. Except for Leno, of course. At least DesertedChick22 is keeping it real with us.
- Meredith Viera begins at the Today Show, and in her first week, manages to get the creepy “How’s Your Father” from Willard Scott and Gene Shalit. And Lauer is already threatening revenge.
- And let’s not forget that The Tyra Banks Show also debuted its new season this week, and featured 2 shrivel-faced, rexic-in-some-way young ladies and a literal footrace.
- The President of Kazakhstan wants to talk to President Bush about all the harm Borat is causing to his country’s image. Borat, meanwhile, will totally add you as a friend.
- Lindsay Lohan lets her caged vagina sing. TWICE.