ICYMI: Destined For Destiny

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Being a person who happens to think that most of the current “Bush bashing (you over the brain with obviousness)” comedy is about as funny as the situation in Darfur (and less subtle), I was surprised to find myself chuckling at this simple-yet-effective “A Life In Pictures” promo for recently released Destined For Destiny: the Unauthorized Biography of George W. Bush. Say what you want about him, but the guy really does have friends in some pretty high places.

While You Were Blocking Maf54

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  • Ashton Kutcher says that Bill Clinton once tried to hit on his wife, Demi Moore. Now, in Clinton’s defense; he probably thought Ashton was her son.
  • Eric Clapton is playing “Cocaine” in concert again, a song he stopped playing live after getting sober. Fans think this could tie in to his upcoming album release: A Cry For Help.
  • George Clooney wants to go out with a different woman every night for three straight months in an effort to “debunk” photographs in magazines. And, as a part of his effort to “debunk” 90 more women in Los Angeles.
  • George Michael insists that he doesn’t have a problem with drugs. He just has a problem getting caught with drugs– there’s a difference.
  • Weezer is suing the Miller Brewing Company for using their name in some beer advertisements. Miller will stop running the Weezer ads, and promises they’ll go back to targeting music fans old enough to actually drink beer.

YOUTUBULAR: Biff Is Back To the Present

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Hey, buttheads! After flawlessly essaying the “multi-generational bully in humorous time travel adventure movies” role with his portrayal of Biff in the Back to the Future trilogy, actor Tom Wilson tried keeping a low profile. But apparently random people incessantly nagged and harassed him with questions and comments about said role, leaving him no choice but to become a stand-up comedian and write jokey songs about his frustrating battle with quasi-celebrity. So check it out, McFly – unless you’re chicken!

…OF THE (Holy) DAY: A Few More Links To Keep You Busy While Your Jewish Friends Are Breaking Their Fast

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  • TIMEWASTER: The Top 10 Weird Al videos. You know you want to watch them. (SRobbin.com)
  • SURPRISINGLY DEPRESSING NEWS: All 3 Hanson brothers are married. Even the older, ugly one. You, on the other hand, are sleeping alone tonight. MMMbop on that. (Yahoo)
  • WAKEUP CALL: Robin Williams says Mel Gibson’s arrest was a wake-up call. To quit drinking, not hate Jews. (AOL)
  • GRACEFUL EXIT: The single best moment of a pretty enjoyable season premiere of SNL? Brian Williams getting bumped from Weekend Update, of course. (HuffPo)
  • JACKASSES: The theater employees who decided to rename the new Johnny Knoxville movie Jackbutt Two. For real. Jackbutt Two. (TMZ)

…OF THE DAY

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  • BORING BOOB: If you think about it, isn’t Pamela Anderson’s entire life just one big nip-slip? (Splash)
  • SPOONBENDER: Are Lohan and Keanu having some kind of excellent adventure I don’t even begin to want to know anything about? In the words of the latter…woah. (A Socialite’s Life)
  • CASTING CALL: Steve-O is looking for “wussies” he can help “overcome their inhibitions”. So if you’ve ever felt a little sheepish about publicly humiliating yourself by pissing all over your last shred of dignity for a reality show, get those headshots in quick-like! (ONTD)
  • FILANTHRAPIE: Carrie Underwood has joined a literacy campaign for rednecks who can’t read good called “Read Y’all”. Insert your own irony-drenched punchline here. (Yahoo!)
  • WEREWOLF HYGENIE: Actor-Turned-Teen-Wolf Matteo McConaughey is making sure his fangs are good and clean. (MollyGood)
  • COOL SCHOOL: McAwesome University, the only institution of higher learning that offers degrees in “Volton Studies”, “Beer Gluttony” and “Poetic Self-Loathing”. (McAwesome U, via Lindsayism)

ICYMI: Silbling Douchery

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There’s so much wrong with this clip of Nick and Aaron Carter engaging in the wussiest argument I’ve ever seen that I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Aaron’s epileptic-on-ecstasy dance moves? Nick’s effeminate fightin’ words? Two blonde-tipped brothers arguing over PARIS F*CKING HILTON!?! This isn’t even television, it’s S&M for your eyes. (Language NSFW)

ICYMI: Baby Prank’d!

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In honor of Ashton’s Punk’ing of America at the Box Office this weekend, we thought it might be nice to share this little homage to Punk’d, in which pranks are pulled on people a little smarter than celebrities – that’s right, babies! This hilarious clip was created by comedy mastermind Jon Benjamin (co-creator, along with David Cross, of Comedy Central’s forthcoming series Freakshow) and features the acting talents of one my personal favorite comedians, Jon Glaser.