CAPTION THIS! The Britney Monster Strikes Again

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A greasy Britney does her best Brandon Davis impression.

Ahh, Britney. Everybody’s favorite pop star was spotted taking her 16-year-old sister to a sketchy tattoo parlor in Los Angeles. After studying this picture, it makes sense– of course that’s where Britney would take her; that’s where people who look like this go. First to the tattoo parlor, then to Long John Silvers. It just makes sense. Anyway, leave your Captions in the Comments now!

VIDEO HITS 1: The Shins, As Directed By Max Fischer

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Mix one part classic R.E.M. video, two parts Rushmore, one part Joan of Arc and just a touch of The OC, and you’ll have yourselves the brand new video for The Shins’ forthcoming single, “Phantom Limb”.

LISTEN UP: Alviiiiiiiiiiiin!

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  • Yesterday I said that Pogues song was my all-time favorite Holiday tune. Well, I lied. It is undoubtedly “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” by Alvin & the Chipmunks, which you can grab over at MOKB.
  • Paper Thin Walls asked a whole bunch of music writers to pick one song that sums up 2006, then put them all together for a Mixtape of the Year.
  • Just in time for Christmas, You Ain’t No Picasso wraps up some cheery new pop music from Captain Sunshine himself, Bright Eyes.
  • Speaking of Yuletide Joy, INDIEBLOGHEAVEN makes us feel light-hearted with a few Christmas tunes from the Man In Black, Mr. Johnny Cash.
  • Apropos of nothing, but still nice to listen to, Gorilla vs Bear has great a new demo from Voxtrot.

Silverback Stiller: Yes or No?

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We’re torn about Ben Stiller‘s new locks. We love nothing more than a little Salt N’ Peppa on a man (Daddy complex, line 3!), but are torn about Ben’s new do. On the one gorilla fist, he looks debonaire as hellllll, shooting “Blue Steel” as only Zoolander could. On the other monkey paw, the greyness makes him look like the lead in Silverback to the Future. Also, he’s starting to develop serious Guy-Pearce-mouth. Still, we vote “hot”!

ICYMI: Justin Sings “SexyBack”; Victoria’s Secret Models Bring Sexy Back

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Last night’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show had something for everybody. It had Justin Timberlake rocking “SexyBack” for the ladies, and it had the ladies rocking very revealing lingerie for the gentlemen. What a show. In case you missed it, here’s the first 10 minutes. You can find the rest of the show all over YouTube… and all over that VHS tape your little brother left in the VCR last night. You might want to get that away from him before it’s too late.

It’s An Absurdly Awesome Christmas

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nicole elf.jpgGallery Of The Absurd is putting together their own little dysfunctional winter wonderland, complete with Vicodin elves and overly intoxicated Santas. It’s just like being home for the holidays!

Head over there now to see for yourself. And while you’re there, don’t forget to scroll down and check out the great Christmas tree ornaments and menorahs inspired by the events of 2006. I wonder if it’s too late to order a pink Bald Beaver. It’s the perfect gift for mom & dad. Especially dad.

ICYMI: Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time

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Jarvis Cocker, the lead singer of Pulp, does his best Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride impression in his new video, “Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time.” His version has a much higher body count, though. Check it out now– it’s the best video of the year that doesn’t involve treadmills and dancing white guys.

Link via Stereogum

SMELL LIKE YOUR FAVORITE CELEB!

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NICOLEKIDMAN.JPGBack in the good ol’ days (read: 1997), the fragrance business and Hollywood were limited to two words: Elizabeth Taylor. But now, the trend to smell like your favorite celebrity is stinking up Macy’s aisles everywhere. Supermodel Kate Moss has just inked her own plans for a scent, and stars like Sarah Jessica Parker and Britney Spears proudly shill their own stink. Even when their names aren’t on their label, many actresses star in ads for designer fragrances: Gwyneth Paltrow looking so fresh and so clean in various Estee Lauder ads, Nicole Kidman coming back from the dead for Chanel, Charlize Theron in her Too Hot for TV Dior perfume ads…

It’s all very confusing. Would we rather smell like Kate Moss at the end of a sweaty foodless drug binge? Or Elizabeth Taylor’s reanimated corpse? DECISIONS. Also, this trend worries us… how much longer until Walgreens is stocking Steve Buscemi‘s Musk? Can any of you vouch for a celebrity scent? Let us know.

After the jump, Bonus Charlize!!

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While You Were Counting Down The Days Hours Until Your Holiday Break

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  • Eminem and Kim Mathers were officially divorced for a second time yesterday. They were so excited they celebrated by immediately getting re-married.
  • Martha Stewart says she ended her brief relatiionship with Anthony Hopkins because she couldn’t separate him from the terrifyingly evil character he played. Coincidentally, Hopkins had the same problem with her.
  • Paris Hilton was the most searched person on Google News in 2006. Though sadly, every single “Paris Hilton + disappeared?” query came up with 0 results.
  • Pamela Anderson has confirmed that Kid Rock was not happy about her appearance in Borat. He was a much, much bigger fan of the racist frat boys.
  • Hilary Duff and ex-boyfriend Joel Madden have dropped their restraining order against their 18-year-old stalker. The stalker immediately filed his own restraining order against Joel, insisting that now he’s the desperate and lonely one.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, December 19th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, December 19th! Lang Fisher is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Identity, My Boys, Dirty Jobs, I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown and the never ending wedding on Big Day!