ICYMI: 30 Rock n’ Rolls on NBC.com

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Ninja Expert and BWE panelist Judah Friedlander is just one of the stars of the highly publicized SNL-takeoff show 30 Rock, premiering this week. NBC.com posted the entire episode today, so if you’re too impatient to wait until Wednesday for the broadcast premiere, or if you’re bored at work and want to watch TV on the company dime, head over there now. Come on. Like you have more important things to do.

Bump Alert! Sharing the Limelight Edition

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Looks like Mr. Britney Spears, aka Kevin Federline, aka Cornrows McGillicutty, is a leeetle sick and tired of all the attention lavished on his fetus producing wife, and has begun sporting a sizeable baby bump of his own. Check out Federline casual preggers swagger and new father glow while shopping in L.A. over the weekend. While the crafty dancer-turn- rapper-cum-actor is trying his best to hide the fashionable bump with an oversized Fred Segal cotton maternity tunic and lit Marlboro Light (filled with bubble gum, surely), there’s no getting it by us: Looks like the Spears’ are going to have to their unexperienced hands full in less than 6 months! Well, that, or K-Fed is supes constipated, in which case you can expect a “delivery” anywhere from 3 to 5 days from now.

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: The Wheel World: Tinseltown

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CARSONDALY.JPGLately, and perhaps thanks to Lance N’ Matt N’ the Gang, cycling has become the preferred means of travel for celebrities on the go. Some faymies like to ride their banana seats for kicks, while others take the sport seriously, spandexing themselves from head 2 toe. And because it doesn’t look like this trend is ending anytime soon, we want to know what you think. Take a look at these celebrities and UPGRADE! if they look adorable and/or super-trendy on their wheels or DOWNGRADE! if they should hang up their bikes and make-up with their chauffeur.

Vote now!

SIZZLER: Paris & Nicole Together Again

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hilton_richie.jpgAccording to TMZ.com, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have FINALLY put their feud to rest. The pair put their differences behind them and reunited, leaving many Americans wondering which public feud they’ll start paying attention to next. Right now the two big frontrunners are Paris Vs. Shanna Moakler, and North Korea Vs. The World. It really could go either way.

But why did Paris and Nicole end their feud now? Perhaps the secret lies in that tiny bag of a green, leafy substance that was spotted in Paris’ purse. We’re not sure what it is– green tea? oregano? bird food?– but whatever it is, maybe it contains a magic secret ingredient that calmed Paris down enough to realize “Hey man, life is too short to have enemies. Maybe I should let bygones be bygones and just be cool… yeah. Hey, is anybody else starving? Let’s go to Taco Bell”

To see a CU of the bag click below. Or meet me by the fountain in Washington Square Park in an hour.
Read more…

ICYMI: The Moustache Behind the Voice

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You’ve seen him before, recently co-starring in a clever little Geico commercial that was sadly overshadowed by Little Richard‘s insanity. But voiceover artist Don LaFontaine is more hilarious/influential than he’s ever given credit for — the guy wrote the famous opening lines “In a world”, for God’s sake. Check out this ABC interview with the orbishly handsome vocal maestro, and discover the power behind the voice. We would easily pay $10 to see I’d Like a Can of Peas, Please, and we have a feeling Miramax is already on it.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Dearly Departed

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thedeparted.jpg1. Hey, now that Heavyhands Hackis has his shiny new Oscars for subtly illuminating the complexities of contemporary urban race relations in Crash, maybe you geniuses in the Academy might want to think about throwing one of those statues Marty Scorsese’s way – $27 million

2. You’d think that with all the scary shit going on in the news right now, moviegoers would just save their ten bucks, skip Homicidal Maniac Killers 29, and get the bejeezus scared out of them from the comfort of their living room. FoxNews has terror On Demand – $19.1 million

3. Kids sure are suckers$16 million

4. “Shitty movie with a hacky comedian and a fame-whoring tabloid queen that I don’t want to see” of the month$11.8 million

5. I said it after 3000 Miles to Graceland, Dragonfly, Open Range, The Upside of Anger, and Rumor Has It…, and I’ll say it again: Kevin Costner is BACK! – $9.6 million

ICYMI: K-Fed Gets His Acting On

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Kevin Federline– not satisfied with just being a bad rapper and bad husband, has added “bad actor” to his resume (note: Just pretend K-Fed has a resume. We know it’s unlikely… so just pretend). Kevin makes his acting debut on CSI this Thursday, and here’s a clip of his sure-to-be-Emmy-nominated performance.

We’re shocked he’s taking on the role of an annoying, unlikable, white homeboy. The man has mad acting skillz (with a ‘z’), yo.

ICYMI: Dip Your Balls In It

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To announce of the LONG overdue availability of The State on iTunes, the cast members (well, most of them, including our very own David Wain!) of MTV’s seminal sketch comedy show got back together to film this sketch-omercial that left us laughing and hysterically while secretly wondering whether Michael Ian Black was too busy sharing his dry observations on the 72 Craziest Wacky Celebrity Sightings In Guatemala to join his old friends.

(via ProductShopNYC)

While You Were Wishing Dateline’s Chris Hanson Would Have a Few Words With Congressman Foley

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  • I think the reason we haven’t been paying much attention the the big Sienna Miller vs. The City of Pittsburgh brouhaha is that we’ve found it nearly impossible to determine which of the two parties we care less about. Anyway, she says she’s sorry!
  • On a recent episode of Ellen, Rod Stewart made a startling revelation about his daughter Kim’s friend Paris Hilton – she apparently “enjoys publicity”. With that kind of keen insight, it really is no wonder so many people want his body and think he’s sexy.
  • Billy Joel’s daughter Alexa is releasing her debut album, a six-song EP called Sketches (I guess Pianoadolescentgirl isn’t as catchy) that will fall somewhere between Sean Lennon’s Friendly Fire and Lisa Marie Presley’s Now What on the scale of misguided musical endeavors by children of rock legends.
  • If you ever felt like your dad was sorta lame and embarassing back when you were 18, just be glad your dad wasn’t Andy Dick, who apparently feels the need to make the distinction between his boy and his boytoys.
  • The cast of The Office could do a dramatic reading of Mein Kampf and make it pretty funny, but their interpretation of Jenna “Pam” Fischer’s recent “10 Things You Don’t Know About Women” piece in Esquire – hilarityville.

Best Night Ever: Sunday, October 8th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 8th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives!