SIZZLER: Pete Doherty Rushed to ER!

by

PeteDoherty1.JPGUsually, a headline such as the one above would indicate that “rocker”-cum-toothless-hobo Pete Doherty had finally flown too close to the heroin-addled sun and overdosed on drugs. This morning, however, is an exception. As it seems Pete Doherty was rushed to the ER after getting fiance Kate Moss‘s engagement ring stuck on his finger. In an article that reads straight out of the Perfect Strangers handbook, Doherty shoved Kate’s ring on as a goof and quickly realized it wasn’t coming off. This is simple science: When your girlfriend’s hand looks like a reanimated limb from the Grim Reaper himself, ideally you wouldn’t want to put the Cheerio-sized metal loop on your own finger.

Luckily, expert staff at the Princess Grace Hospital were able to use enough Crisco to clip the thing off (the very definition of foreshadowing, if you ask us). We’re not big fans of Doherty, but if he keeps up slapstick antics like this, we’ll have no choice but to love the horribly b.o.’d googly-eyed stard. We hope he accepts our congratulations for his second non-drug related hospital visit in his lifetime. (The first being his birth.)

While You Were Binging On Halloween Candy

by

katie_holmes.jpg

  • According to People, Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields are new best friends. Aww, it’s nice to see a good brainwashing bring two people together like that.
  • Madonna has devised a genius marketing method for her new children’s book: “Read it or I’ll adopt you!”
  • And this year’s award for best celebrity Halloween costume has to go to Britney Spears for her bold “barely incognito and somewhat bloated spouse of douchebag rapper” ensemble.
  • Flavor Flav has successfully produced his seventh offspring. Too bad it wasn’t with his current Flavor of Love sweetheart, because Deelishis Flavor would have been an excellent name.
  • Is McDreamy a McWifebeater? You decide!

…OF THE DAY

by

PAMASTISHA2.JPG

  • B-LIST CLIP: Call Congressman Mark Foley what you will: A liar, a child molester, an elliptical-heavy IM-er, but DON’T call him a bad actor. (Radar Online)
  • BUMP: Is Angelina Jolie pregnant? Or did somebody have refried beans for lunch? (Star Magazine)
  • MARRIAGE LOTTERY: Ryan Phillippe may have lost wife Reese Witherspoon, but it looks like he’s about to gain an undeserved fortune — they never had a pre-nup! (TMZ.com)
  • ANTICIPATED EVENT: We plan on spending the next few weeks blogging outdoors, as we want to be first in line to buy tickets to the Designing Women musical. We’ve been keeping our ring finger vacant until the blessed day comes when we finally meet Meshach Taylor, upon which we will overnight a hoopa to our place of worship (Whittier Daily News).
  • FAVORITE HALLOWEEN COSTUME: Gina and Pam from Martin go as Tyra Banks and Miss Jay Alexander — and look scarily good. (ONTD)

SHOW AND TELL:

by

Here are some of today’s most memorable pictures. Click the orange “left and right” arrows to flip through them all.

Playboy has some more Halloween pics (fairly SFW).

THE DAILY D-BAG: Gawker Doesn’t Do the Douche

by

Daily-Douche---gawker.jpgSo our snobby (and newly estrogen-fueled) friends over at Gawker have decided that the phrase “douche” – along all of its wonderous incarnations here on the Intertubes – is now “over” (they even linked to this column as proof supporting their claim – ouch!). The venerable NYC gossip blog, they who so recently created a Douchebag Hall of Fame, have apparently taken a 180 degree turn with their culture-dictating keyboards by suddenly declaring a moratorium on the phrase to which this daily feature owes its name, and calling upon their readers to offer suggestions for a worthy replacement (the resulting comments will be the funniest thing you read all day). Under most circumstances, I would pay no mind to the flighty opinions of my gossip-mongering peers. Though I must confess their sentiments have struck a chord, as I too have recently noticed a sudden overabundance of that word here on the Internets. While I blame this unfortunate circumstance mostly on Jared Leto, I have no choice but seek your counsel, dear readers, as I attempt to determine whether this distingished award for Daily Idiotic Excellence should henceforth be renamed to something Gawker Media would deem more “now” (and if so, what?), or whether it should shoulder on with its present douche-loving moniker. Give me your votes in the poll, your suggestions in the comments, and let us determine once and for all the Destiny of the Douche.

I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need To Watch This Video

by

While we were at Pianos trying to squeeze our way into the ridiculously crowded Birdmonster show (why was it ridiculously crowded? Because Birdmonster is awesome), Stereogum was across town at The Knitting Factory enjoying The Cardigans and their gorgeous lead singer Nina Persson. Since we couldn’t be two places at once (damn you, CMJ festival for having so many great bands), we’re really excited that Scott posted a video of the band performing an acoustic version of “I Need Some Fine Wine And You, You Need To Be Nicer”.

First Jim sings “Lovefool” on The Office and now the band is rocking CMJ- is it safe to say that The Cardigans are back?

LISTEN UP: Crispin Glover Continues His “Creepy Campaign”

by

CRISPINGLOVER.JPG

  • Badminton Stamps has the trailer for the upcoming Crispin Glover movie What Is It?, along with a very welcomed Huey Lewis & The News break.
  • No need to thank us for getting The CardigansLovefool in your head for the rest of the day… thank Stereogum, who posts some acoustic songs from their acoustic set at The Knitting Factory last night.
  • Get ready for intrigue: Indie Goes Bagpipe! Or so says Music For Ants, who proves their point with a bagpipe playlist.
  • LA Underground gives a nice round-up of L.A. based bands appearing at CMJ 2006, along with a complimentary playlist.
  • Here’s something we thought we’d never see: Marilyn Manson was on Jay Leno last night. Your Standard Life has proof.

SIZZLER: Nicole Richie’s Cat Tries to End It All!

by

nicolecat.JPGIt would seem that the various pressures of feline fame finally became too much for Nicole Richie’s cat to bear, as Monday night The Simple Life star’s little whiskered friend plunged ten stories from the balcony of an apartment building in an unsuccessful attempt to take its own life. While we are delighted to hear that the cat is still alive (it must have accidentally landed on its feet), one can only imagine the prolonged period of sadness that could have driven a cute little kitty-cat to such a tragic end. Could it have been the sudden return of Paris’ punk-ass chihuahua to its life? Or the tabby’s ongoing concern over the welfare of its rehab-ridden owner? Maybe the puss was just starving (if Nicole can hardly manage to feed herself, one shudders to think how well she keeps her pets nourished). No matter what the reasons, this is the most tragic thing to happen to celebrity house pets since “Buddy” Clinton was hit by a car and turned into Republican roadkill.