ICYMI: Borat Responds to President of Kazakhstan

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Much has been made over the Kazakhstani government’s fury about being portrayed as hilarious people with moustaches in the upcoming Borat Movie. They’ve raised $40 million dollars to produce a film to counter-balance the “negative propaganda” they fear will result from Borat‘s arrival stateside (though something tells us their cinematic endeavor won’t enjoy quite the same profits), and they’re even threatening to sue comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, the man responsible for making it so you won’t be able to walk down the street in a couple of months without hearing every other person saying, “It’s Niiiice”. But let’s take a moment and hear what Borat had to say about all of this controversey in this video message he posted on his website awhile back:

BWE PHOTOSHOP CONTEST: Billy Bob’s Board For Scoundrels

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screechboard.JPGOkay, so far this entry by Mike Torres in the Billy Bob’s Board For Scoundrels Photoshop Contest has to be our favorite. Look closely and notice the brown, um, chalk, underneath Screech’s nose. Not too shabby.

Think you can top it? Click here to get your own board to work with, then email your submission to contests@bwe.tv. Right now it looks like Mike is going to take home a prize, but if anybody is able to one-up him we’ll post their entry and announce it tomorrow. Good luck!

CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: Just Can’t Leto It Go

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letogaywad3.jpgIn their recent blowjob to interview with Jared Leto, MTV News gets the tortured musical genius to open up about just what in the hell is going on inside that sad little brain of his, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to fire up the old Celebrity Translator to shed some light on Jordan Catalano’s dark, dark soul:

“Forget the eyeliner — more importantly, what’s with my hat? I stole this from the guy in The Backstreet Boys, you know the one.”


TRANSLATION: Even though I wear make-up, I’ve got the balls to talk some sh*t about the Backstreet Boys. Oh, but I am way too dark and indie to actually know who they are. Seriously, make sure you print that.

“What changes [with success] is you can bring a few more lights, you can start investing in some of the ideas you’ve always had for production elements and you can present a show that’s not just four guys in jeans and T-shirts staring at their Chuck Taylors, which you can find at any given night at any bar across the country,” Leto said. “That’s fun for what it is, but we’re looking for something slightly different.”


TRANSLATION: Since I’m a pretty-boy actor who clearly lacks any discernible musical ability, my band can’t just stand on a stage and play real rock & roll. We’ve got to dress up like blood-splattered snow ninjas and do cartwheels all over the massive strobe-lit S&M dungeon setting for anyone to notice or give us even a tenth of the attention I so deserately crave.

Read more…

LISTEN UP: We Can’t Get Her Out Of Our Heads

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  • A Plague Of Angels has a new track off The Magic Numbers’ second album. So “Take A Chance” and download it.
  • I Am Fuel, You Are Friends has uncovered a commercially unavailable M. Ward EP and posted all 4 tracks. Go get them ASAP.
  • I Rock Cleveland posted a couple of songs by my new favorite band (this week), Mobius Band.
  • It’s Throwback Thursday over at Instrumental Analysis. This week they’re sporting a ton of album cuts and live tracks from The Smiths. Don’t miss it.
  • And finally, Neiles Life is barrelling on with their list of the 125 albums that should be in your collection. Today they have tracks by Kylie Minogue, Young MC, and yes, The Spin Doctors.

Could Our Tracy Morgan Dream Be Realized?

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When we first caught site of these movie posters for two upcoming Tracy Morgan movies, Black Cop, White Cop and Who Dat Ninga, we immeds hot-keyed it to Fandango to pre-purchase our tickies. Upon closer inspection (and a helpful explanatory article, courtesy of EW), we realized that this is actually Tracy Jordan in these posters, Morgan’s upcoming character on the Tina Fey/NBC sitcom 30 Rock. We’re jazzed that Morgan is on a new sitcom — and with fake posters like these, on that we hope is Hilarie Clinton. But we’re not gonna say that a part of us died a little to learn that Who Dat Ninga isn’t real. It’s gotta be at least as funny as Tim MeadowsThe Ladies Man.

ICYMI: Ashlee Does Chicago

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D-Listed directed us over to this video of Ashlee– the stable Simpson sister– rehearsing for Chicago over in London. She’s sounding good… and it looks like she even breaks out her patented SNL hoedown move during one of the dances. We’re rooting for Ashlee, even though a successful theater career would delay her inevitable Playboy spread for a few years. Well, we waited for Debbie Deborah Gibson, and we’ll wait for Ashlee Simpson. We got nothing but time.

SIZZLER: Does Kathy Griffin Have A New Man?

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Does Kathy Griffin have a new love in her life? The self-proclaimed D-Lister was seen smooching E! Fashion Police contributor Robert Verde following a romantic lunch date in New York City. Griffin is still overcoming the traumatic divorce from ex-hubby Matt Moline, who pilfered over $70,000 from the reality star’s bank account. But there have been no reports of a new love interest… until now. Verde could actually be the ideal match — even though he’s the complete opposite of Kathy’s ex! Lithe and uber-fashionable, Verde would be the perfect man steal brunch-time kisses with, followed by an exhausting day of shopping for bedsheets and an even more exhausting night of passionate lovemaking on them. Kudos, Kathy! Good luck to the happy couple.

ICYMI: “High” School

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teacher.JPGBoingBoing points us to some hilarious footage of a University of Florida business school professor who apparently elected to get SUPER STONED (too much Cocaine drink, perhaps?) before delivering a 2-hour filmed lecture to his Principles of Management class. He didn’t manage to make much sense, but he did manage to get ridiculously high, which managed to make me laugh. He also apparently managed to get himself fired the very next day. The full lecture is available in two parts (First Hour, and Second Hour), but we suggest just watching the first few minutes, then skipping ahead to around 28:30. You’ll get the gist. But if you watch the entire two-hour video with the volume off while listening to Styx’s 1979 album Cornerstone on repeat, you will see God.

CAPTION THIS! Guiness Rolling in the Grave

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Homecoming got much more interesting when Karl’s dead Grandmother agreed to be reanimated as his date.

There are abuot 2 million other caption possibilities — wipe up the vom and leave yours after the jump!