PROPPED: Unironically Remembering The Crocodile Hunter With A “Crocodile Rock” Tribute

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When we saw that gpwrite dropped a “YouTube Video Gift for Crocodile Hunter’s family” we didn’t know what to expect. The last thing we wanted to watch was another lame joke-y Steve Irwin parody. Well, this video from Reading Brisbaine isn’t a joke at all; it’s a serious, serious tribute. And of course that makes it 1,000 times funnier than anything else we’ve seen. Get ready to Crocodile Rock & Roll.

*Wiping a tear away* That was beautiful. Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

LOHANVOLITION: Update From HQ!

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lohanvolutionSMALL.jpgAttention friends and followers of the Lohanvolution! Our Dear Lindsay has once again taken time out of her busy life to send us the very latest news from the front lines of the battle against “those people”, once again releasing her missive via the Page Six press department:

An e-mail she sent to pals last week has the subject title: “They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark.

“I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the [c-word]s now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

[...]

Lohan may also move back to New York in a bid to get away from “the toxic L.A. scene with all those toxic people.” Sadly, Lohan seems to be as addicted to those “toxic” people – including her “frenemy” Paris Hilton – as she is to parties. She was out Thursday night partying once again with Hilton, whom she alternately swears she hates and loves.

Okay, so to summarize, a) each and every one of us should go out of our ways to let a stripper know how much we appreciate their hard work in showing their junk off, and b) Paris Hilton should be taken off the “Enemies of the Lohanvolution” list and added to the “Al Gore Committee of Supporters” at once. Stand-by for further instruction.

2006: The Year Of Mashing S**t Up

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So we didn’t colonize the moon in 2006. We didn’t find a cure for the common cold, we didn’t stop global warming, and we didn’t invent the damn hoverboard we’ve all been waiting for since Back To The Future II. That’s all okay. Because in 2006 we did one very important thing: We mastered the movie trailer mash-up. From The Shining to 10 Things I Hate About Commandments to Brokeback to The Future, a lot of s**t got mashed up this year. GIANT Magazine counted down the top 10– check it out here. We included our personal #1 below.

Link via Gorillamask

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Happy Happy Holidays

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happyness.jpg1. It seems that Will Smith was able to tug on moviegoers’ heartstrings with his “hard-luck determined dad” character, despite not even being able to f*cking spell – $27 million

2. I wonder how many illiterate people went to see this movie mistakenly thinking it was the fourth installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy – $23.4 million

3. Could Some Pig be the new penguins? – $12 million

4. This movie makes me wish the polar ice caps would hurry up and melt already – $8.5 million

5. It’s funny how Hollywood is sort of like a bad alcoholic dad in that they can toss up a little mistletoe, put on a Santa cap and try to make you think things are all “Christmasy” – $8.2 million

FUR REAL, DOG: Puff Daddy Coats Using Dog Fur?

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SEANCOMBS1.JPGLadies and gentlemen, prepare to possibly throw out your winter jacket. Because if you happen to be the proud owner of a Sean John puffy coat with “fur” trim, there’s a slight chance that fur is actually made from the skin of a dog. Or so says the Humane Society of the United States, who is claiming that Macy’s is selling the coats under the guise that it’s “imitation rabbit fur”, when the label inside the coat claims it to be “real raccoon” — and not the adorable rabid raccoons that scour your trash for last night’s dinner, but raccoon dogs… DOG FUR COATS!

So is Puff Daddy, who claims to be the designer behind Sean Jean, the Cruella Deville of the new century? The jury is still out, test results are not back yet, and we won’t know for sure for a few days. So we’re going to ask you, the readers, what you think. Go to the coat closet, reach your hand in, close your eyes, and feel that fur trim on the hood of your Sean John jacket… does it remind you a little bit of Sparky, your childhood Yorkie who went to “live on a farm” when you were 11? Because we smell a big controversy here, and it’s got wet dog stink smeared all over it.

ICYMI: D*ck In A Box

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With the holiday shopping season winding down to its close, you might be scrambling for last-minute gift ideas. Well, thanks to our friends over at SNL, along with the suave vocal stylings of Justin Timberlake, the “D*ck In A Box” emerges as the perfect present to give just about everyone (except your parents)! It’s sort of like this year’s “Tickle Me Elmo” – and it’s even similar in principle! Though can anyone explain why it’s being sold by Color Me Badd? (Language slightly NSFW)

While You Were Practicing Your Christmas Carolling

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  • A clip of Britney Spears burping and babbling about her belief in time travel was the #1 celebrity viral video in 2006. It kind of makes you long for the good ol’ days of One Night In Paris, doesn’t it?
  • 50 Cent has given up golf because he just isn’t any good at it. Yet for some reason he continues to act.
  • Kate Moss has banned Pete Doherty from releasing an album he made with his ex-girlfriend. It wasn’t hard, though, since Pete has absolutely no recollection of making it. Or of his ex.
  • Judith Regan, the publisher behind O.J.’s unreleased “If I Did It” book, has been fired. She has already begun working on her own book, “If I Were To Get Fired For Giving A Murderer A Book Deal, Here’s How I’d Do It.”
  • The Spice Girls may reunite to perform at the Princess Di memorial concert next year. Come on– haven’t the people of England suffered enough?

Best Of The Best Week Ever

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You all know that Best Year Ever airs tonight at 11. But before we look back at the year that was, let’s look back at the past 5 days.

So that was this week. But if you want to see an anti-Semetic Mel Gibson, a newly single K-Fed, a trigger happy Dick Cheney and a whole lot more, tune into Best Year Ever tonight at 11 and all weekend long. You don’t want to miss it.

What’s Cuter: A Baby Panda vs. Shiloh Pitt

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God bless Jeanne Moos, the only CNN anchor who is paid to hit the streets and ask the retarded questions we’ve ALL thought of before. This morning, Jeanne really outdoes herself by asking folks who is cuter: Shiloh Pitt… or a Baby Panda. Our favorites are the people, clearly late to work, who are just like “Guhhh… Baby Panda!!” while nearly getting hit by a car. Then again, the overlay of Shiloh’s face on the panda body ain’t bad either. Then there’s the monkey with his foot off the ground, a monkey whose presence in the clip is never quite fully explained. Might we once again remind you: THIS AIRED ON CNN.

If you think we’re making this up, do us a favor and watch the video here. p.s. The panda wins!