The Amazing Race: Cho Tactics Suck

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CHOBROS1.JPG(Wrap your face in tin foil if you don’t want to be spoiled.) It’s pretty much universally agreed that the Cho Brothers are great guys. Smart, sweet, respectful, cute: The Amazing Race is turning into a weekly personal ad for these guys. But their whole “let’s team up with the suckiest teams” tactic seems so backwards and self-defeating we can’t really figure out what the hell they’re thinking! The idea is that if they bring the worst teams to the final three, they’ll almost certainly win the $1 million cash prize. But the reality of it is that they end up running the race for three teams instead of just themselves – the Bama Sisters and David and Mary (eliminated last week). Last night’s episode was a classic, with teams running side-by-side to make it to the Philimination mat. Traversing through Finland, cycling limestone uphill (and how much do you you hate that smack-talking Rob, we ask you?), and a muddy obstacle course all made for fantastic TV.

And just when the episode is hitting its climax, just when you’re on the edge of your over-sized rattan throne, you realize that it’s 8:57 pm. Which is when Team Zoolander cracked the clue ordering them to “KEEP RACING!” If you haven’t caught the show this season, next week is a perfect pick-up episode: There’s nothing like an additional leg of the race when the teams are cranky and running out of steam! Unsurprisingly, it looks like the Bama Girls leave the Cho Brothers in the dust, a back-stabby move we could’ve called weeks ago.

Finally, we are psyched to learn that The Amazing Race has caught on globally! The Amazing Race Asia debuted last week, complete with their own version of beefcake Phil. You can watch the entire thing on Youtube — though it’s been broken up into 6 separate parts. It’s always nice to see the relationship between left-hand driving and a swift kick in the crotch.

LISTEN UP: Allow Him To Re-Introduce Himself

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  • The Tin Man Has It has it, alright. And by ‘it’ we mean the new Jay-Z album. Download the entire thing now before it’s too late and you have to pay for it like everybody else.
  • Carl Sandburg Visits Me In A Dream is wrong when he calls the last two albums by The Strokes “s**t,” but he’s dead-on about Albert Hammond Jr.’s solo project: it’s fantastic. Head over there for two tracks.
  • Excited about the new Tenacious D movie? You’ll be even more excited after visiting Neiles Life and downloading 4 new songs.
  • If you secretly like listening to Fergie– or looking at Fergie– quietly head on over to The Late Greats. We won’t tell.
  • It’s sad that indie band names have become so ridiculous that I didn’t know whether these two tracks by Cookie Monster & Big Bird were by super-hipster indie artists or muppets. Thankfully, it’s the latter. Beware Of The Blog indeed.

ICYMI: Britney’s Divorce Lawyer on SNL

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Wow, our friends at SNL actually seem to be flirting with funny here in this sketch about the legal counsel Britney Spears has so clearly been receiving recently.

SIZZLER: James Blunt Spits In God’s Face

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JAMESPETRA.JPGIt is one thing when you are a petite, not necessarily attractive man born with the sort of nasal and high-pitched vocal chops most farinelli’s can only dream about. Well, not only does James Blunt, the man voted more annoying than heat rash, possess all of the above qualities… but he’s actually earning tons of money thanks to them. Even more shocking than his money-stuffed mattresses on are the women he beds on them, including his last girlfriend, model and tsunami-survivor Petra Nemcova. While reports of their break-up surfaced last month, the model claims that, even though she may have banged Russell Simmons, the pair are “very much in love.”

So it is with a heavy heart this morning when we read that James Blunt is being accused of cheating on Petra with some hotel lobby hussy named Jenna. James cheating on Petra! The guy wrote two popular songs (“You’re Beautiful” and the chart-topping “Hot Death-Drill in Your Earhole”) and now thinks he can gallavant with just about anyone. Look, Jamesy, for whatever reason, God chose you — a seemingly unremarkable man — to live the dream of so so many others. And you are taking that dream, unzipping your fly, and popping a squat all over it. So before the world burns your hang-dog face in effigy, think before you bang!

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Borat Is Frat-tastic

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boratposter5.jpg1. Now that his movie is doing “Frat Pack” kind of business, will Borat be given his honorary diamond-encrusted beer helmet and Ben Stiller co-starring vehicle, or will he be black-balled on account of the recent legal action taken by the three frat kings he so hilariously ridiculed? – $29 million

2. Since these stupid movies seem to be such a sure thing at the box office, and since they seem to be getting increasingly ridiculous, should we start getting ourselves in gay spirits for Martin Short’s reprisal of his role as the fruity Ice Wizard in next year’s “The Santa Clause 4: Out of the Clauset” – $16.8 million

3. This movie is sort of awesome because it almost seems as if the Hollywood animators are actuallymocking us, all like, “Doopidy Doo, here’s a movie about crap being flushed down toilets and rats in sewers – poo poo pee pee!” – $16.7 million

4. Or, as I like to call it, “Funnier Than Anchorman” – $14.1 million

5. ***SPOILER ALERT*** This movie is f*cking retarded. ***END SPOILER ALERT*** – $6.6 million

SIZZLER: Hugo Chavez’s Hips Don’t Lie

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hugo.jpgJust because the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, thinks that President Bush is the devil, it doesn’t mean that he’s all piss & vinegar. Everybody has a weakness. For Mr. Chavez, it’s a certain Columbian pop star whose breasts are small and humble so you don’t confuse them with mountains. From Yahoo News:

President Hugo Chavez welcomed Colombian pop singer Shakira to his country on Saturday and said he may go undercover to watch the hip-shaking superstar perform. “Shakira’s arrived. … Welcome, Shakira,” Chavez said during a televised speech. Chavez said that the other day he’d put on a wig and not even his bodyguards had been able to recognize him. “Maybe I’ll put on a wig and go see Shakira,” he quipped.

Putting on a wig to go see Shakira? Sounds like somebody is just begging to be Lanced.

ICYMI: Please, We Are Begging You To Watch This

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dreamgirls.jpgIt is a rare and sparkling day that we find a legitimate reason to post anything musical theater related here at BWE. But please, don’t stop reading, because you will be rewarded with one of the best live performances ever! One of the most hyped about movies vying for Oscar gold this season is Bill Condon‘s Dreamgirls, the story of a trio of black female singers, their quest for fame, and the complications that result. Those unfamiliar with the plot probably know that Beyonce plays one of the “Dreamettes”. But fans of the musical are much more concerned with the casting of American Idol runner-up Jennifer Hudson playing the pivotal role of Effie, the slightly plump and eventually jilted singer. We’ve always loved Hudson and have been confident in her abilities since the beginning. However an EW article about the film mentioned that the originator of the role, Jennifer Holliday, was a complete powerhouse, and that footage from her legendary 1982 Tony Awards performance of “And I Am Telling You” was available on Youtube. We found the clip, and… wow. It is hands down the most moving live performance we have ever seen. Really, if you’re still with us, watch this clip. And then, for the first time, start to feel nervous for the 25-year-old newcomer trying to fill these bigger-than-life shoes.

ICYMI: BWE Lances Perez Hilton

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If you guys missed last week’s episode of Best Week Ever, and shame on you if you did, you might not have gotten to enjoy this wonderful love-letter to our good friend Perez Hilton. Luckily, we decided to post it here for posterity.

ICYMI: Homer Goes to Hollywood

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Perhaps having realized the lucrative market for animated films in which talking cartoon creatures, voiced by celebrities, have touching and hilarious family-saving adventures, the good people behind The Simpsons finally get around to bringing Springfield to the big screen. Looks pretty funny.