Best Night Ever: Thursday, December 14th


It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, December 14th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, The O.C., and Pee Wee’s Christmas Special!

…Of The Day


  • RIP HIM A NEW ONE: Next time you’re in England, ixnay on the ack-The-Ripper-Jay jokes. Oliver Stone will tell you, it’s not a good idea. (Drudgereport)
  • REMEMBER ME?: Kato Kaelin thinks O.J. should of left the word “if” off his book “If I Did It.” Thanks Kato… you’re just 11 years too late. (TMZ)
  • NO MORE DIXING AROUND: The Dixie Chicks might be breaking up. Score another one for the Bush administration. (A Socialite’s Life)
  • ONE UP, ONE DOWN: Amy Poehler is getting her own Nickelodeon cartoon. And, today a topless Amy Poehler picture popped up on the web. What a day. (Egotastic)
  • HOLIDAY SALE: Who wouldn’t want a Nick La-Che T-shirt for Christmas? Well, besides Jessica. (BWE.TV Shop)

ICYMI: Losie O’Donnerr Is Solly


Hey Chinese People! As it would turn out, Rosie O’Donnell did NOT realize that reducing your entire ethnicity and culture to “ching chong ching chong” was in any way insulting. In a related story, Michael Richards was stunned to discover that calling someone a “ni**er” and telling them “50 years ago they would have been hanging upside down from a tree with a fork in their ass” is, in certain circles, a slight faux pas. Also, for those of you keeping score, Hasselbeck got her period back.

(via Gawker)

SIZZLER: Does The Dixie Chicks Breaking Up Mean We’ve Finally Won The War On Terror?


dixie_chicks_nude.jpgIf this story in the National Enquirer is true (I know, sort of an oxymoron), our ongoing national nightmare of marginally talented Country Stars having the audactity to publicly criticize the amazing job our President is doing might finally be over. Rumor is The Dixie Chicks are about go all Jen and Vince on us:

The controversial country superstars have secretly decided to split up after the Grammy Awards – because Emily Robison and Martie Maguire no longer want to share the nest with outspoken Natalie Maines, say sources.

“They’ve received death threats, and it’s made them all nervous wrecks.”

Personally, I don’t feel sorry for them at all. Maybe if they didn’t want slack-jawed Texas rednecks flipping them off with one hand, waving a Confederate flag in the other, and drunkenly screaming “Y’all should get bombed and shot like the rest of them towelheads!”, they should have thought about that before questioning the competence of Leadership Genius George W. Bush.

RED CARPETBAGGERS: Pictures From the British Comedy Awards Turn Out To Be Shockingly Unfunny


Thanks to English comedy gems like Monty Python, The Office and Sascha Baron Cohen, our friends across the pond have long enjoyed a reputation for superior comedy. In an attempt to enrich our own sense of what is and is not funny (Britney vag jokes = hilarityville, screaming the N-word on stage = not so much), we turn to the Red Carpet Arrivals pictures from last night’s British Comedy Awards. Cheeky!


See, the thing about the Brits is that their comedy is high-brow. Take this classic “made you look at my crotch!” gag, for example. On the surface, it seem like your garden variety preschool joke, but if you look deeper, you start to realize that it is actually a metaphor for the wealthy’s apathy towards the plight of the impoverished. Read more…

BEGIN SALIVATION: Awards Season is Here


GOLDENGLOBES.JPGThis morning, a dapperish looking Matthew Perry (did we actually just say that?) announced the Golden Globe Award nominations, and, you know? They’re pretty dead on. Leonardo DiCaprio will be competing against himself for the Best Actor in a Dramatic Movie award, for his parts in Blood Diamond and The Departed (we hope he wins for the latter.) Sacha Baron Cohen scored two nominations for Borat — including one for Best Actor (Academy Members, are you listening?) The only things we take issue with is 1. Steve Carell was not nommed for Little Miss Sunshine (though he did deservedly land one for The Office), and Beyonce scored Best Actress nod over Jennifer Hudson‘s Best Supporting Actress honor, which, once you see the movie, you realize is completely ass backward. Also, congrats to Maggie Gyllenhaal for nabbing a nom for Sherrybaby, possibly the worst movie we saw this year.

And a congrats to Mel Gibson, whose Apocalypto was nominated for Best Foreign Language film. The Jews would like to thank the HFPA for throwing him a bone on that one.

The full list of nominees is after the jump. Feel free to rant in the comments section. Who are you rooting for?

Read more…

Who Will Become Britney’s Next Bad Influence?



According to Page Six, Britney Spears‘ frienship with Paris Hilton has come to an end. After leaving friends, family, fans and casual observes scratching their heads over her downward spiraling career following a marriage to deadbeat gold-digger K-Fed, her subsequent major in vagina-exposing and minor in partying ethics from Paris Hilton University, and her recent public displays of disgusting affection with LA Greaseball Douchebag Guy, Brit’s at a crossroads once again, as she must choose the NEXT person who will help ruin her life, and considering the kinds of sleaze she’s already surrounded herself with, our girl’s really going to have to outdo herself this time. Not everyone can fill K-Fed’s wifebeater. To help her out, we’ve compiled the following list of potential New Scumbag Best Friend/Boyfriends for Britney Spears:


Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis

PROS: His skills in making “Drunk Chicks Flashing Their Tits” videos could really help Britney break into that prized “Blacked Out Frat Guy” demographic. Makes Brandon Davis seem “classy”.

CONS: Probably date rapes. A lot.


Anna Nicole Smith

PROS: Is on pace to become an even bigger trainwreck than Michael Jackon (who, incidentally, might also be worth considering).

CONS: Just too depressing. Read more…