LISTEN UP: Santa & Satan

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  • Over at ThaBombShelter, you can hear Sufjan Stevens’ cleverly-titled Xmas homage to The White Stripes, “Get Behind Me, Santa!”
  • Meanwhile, at Indieish, a new band called Stark Effect has a song titled after a few of my favorite things: “Bunnyrabbits, Satan, Cheese & Milk”.
  • Me & Country Pinball Machine think collaboration between The Strokes and Regina Spektor is devilishly good.
  • David Byrne says Caetano Veloso have put out the best indie rock record of the year, and since he is infinitely cooler than you are, go to Stereogum and listen to it.
  • Foreign Islands is badass, and You Ain’t No Picasso knows what I’m talking about.

SIZZLER: Lindsay L. Has Some Bad News For the Country’s Comedy Writers

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lindsay_lohan_drunk.jpgIt would seem that Lindsay Lohan might be getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. All the partying and cat-fighting and firecrotching has finally taken its toll on the young starlet, and the NY Post is reporting that Lohan has been seen attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings near her apartment in Los Angeles. While we have nothing but the best wishes for her physical and emotional well-being, it is with a small amount of regret that we witness the passing of a very special time in our lives writing about Lindsay. The Hyde freakouts we had together. The tardiness and truancy on movie sets. The “exhaustion” hospital visits. Oh how we shall miss those. And now that she’s given up Brandon Davis in favor of Bill W., what of the pantiless vagina shots? Will those be “drying out” too? I guess the first step is admitting we have a problem – much less ridiculous behavior to admire from afar. We’re clearly going to have to make a fearless and searching moral inventory of other things to write about, and just try to take all these changes one day at a time.

Fake Your Space: Be Popular. Be Sad. Be Very Sad.

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The CC Insider has blown our minds today.

Welcome to FakeYourSpace, a service that helps you appear more popular online. Want more hot friends? They’ll help. Want these hot friends to leave you comments? They’ll do it. Think these fake friendships will help you get laid? No way in hell.

FakeYourSpace is an exciting new service that enables normal everyday people like me and you to have Hot friends on popular social networking sites such as MySpace and FaceBook. Not only will you be able to see these Gorgeous friends on your friends list, but FakeYourSpace enables you to create customized messages and comments for our Models to leave you on your comment wall. [keep reading]

All this for $.99/mo! We’re still not sure if this is real or if it’s part of some big joke… but either way it sounds kind of familiar.

ICYMI: Please Be Gentle With Jim

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rashida jones.jpgAs the weeks go by we find ourselves falling deeper and deeper in love with Rashida Jones, a.k.a. Karen on The Office. In fact, now we’re rooting for Jim to end up with Pam just so we can scoop up Karen on the rebound. That’s how we roll. Anyway, while searching for some Rashida online-goodness we stumbled upon this music video over at Life In The Office. The song: “Be Gentle With Me.” The band: The Boy Least Likely To. The reason to watch: Rashida dancing around with puppets is even cuter than Rashida hanging out in an office. You’ll see.

SIZZLER: Middle School Crush Robbed at Gunpoint!

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ETHANEMBS.JPGEthan Embry, the possibly autistic actor known for such crushable films as Empire Records, Can’t Hardly Wait and Dutch, was robbed at gunpoint on Sunday night. TMZ reports:

TMZ has confirmed the “Can’t Hardly Wait” star told police that two men recognized him from his film and TV roles, and robbed him and wife Sunny Mabrey in their driveway. The thugs allegedly stole Embry’s wallet containing $400, a watch, and threatened Mabrey.

As the men fled in a silver SUV, one eyewitness tells TMZ that Ethan raced into his house, emerged with a handgun and fired three rounds — though it is unclear whether they were in the air or toward the vehicle.

We still can’t decide what’s most shocking: 1. That Ethan Embry owns a handgun; 2. That Ethan Embry knows how to fire a handgun; 3. That Ethan Embry has $400; or 4. That Ethan Embry’s girlfriend was the stewardess in Snakes on a Plane.

It’s Nice Day For A White Wedding Christmas

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With a rebel yell, she cried more more more. And now, with a desperate plea, we cry stop stop stop! Billy Idol, clearly in the Billy Mack phase of his career (how’s that for an obscure reference?) is releasing a Christmas album. We’re not sure how “punk” it is, but it certainly jingle-bell-rocks. Take it away, Billy.

Wow. Just… wow. We hear that if this wins the UK’s Christmas Number 1 Single contest Billy will perform naked on TV (yeah, that’s another Love Actually reference. Shut up.)

Vid via D-Listed

The View Blind Item! Smoking Crack with Rosie

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ROSIEDONN.JPGThis morning on The View, Rosie O’Donnell came to the defense of Danny Devito‘s slightly-slurred appearance on the show yesterday, clearing him from any alcoholism accusations. Rosie then went on to say that many guests on her former talk show used to arrive drunk — she wouldn’t name names — and one blind item that we need to crack:

Rosie: Once there was a person on, and I met them in the green room before and they were fine, and then they were alone for a half-hour. And when they came out on the show, they had a burn mark on the face from…

Barbara Walters: Freebasing.

Rosie: Yeah. Which was so sad. And during the whole interview — cause it was live TV, like yesterday, all I kept thinking of is “How can you help this kid?”

So there you have it kids, the question of the day: Who was freebasing backstage at The Rosie O’Donnell Show? Also, we love how Barbara seems to know so much about it… Leave your guesses in the comments.

While You Were Holiday Shopping At Work

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  • Nicole Kidman is the highest paid actress in Hollywood. Upon hearing the news, people everywhere try to remember the last Kidman movie they actually enjoyed watching.
  • NBC may start broadcasting SNL rehearsals on the internet. The network is confident the rehearsals would still be more enjoyable than Studio 60.
  • Sylvester Stallone says the character of Rocky was based on Jesus. You know, if Jesus was semi-retarded.
  • According to Gnarls Barkley’s tour rider, the men need a box of super-sized condoms waiting for them in their dressing room before a gig. Does that make them crazy? No. Well-hung? Probablyyyyyy.
  • 50 Cent called Oprah Winfrey a middle aged white woman. Oprah immediately retaliated by shooting the motherf**ker right in his motherf**king face, because that’s how Oprah rolls, bitch.