…Of The Day

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  • SOY WHAT?: Turns out it isn’t Queer Eye that’s turning our kids gay; it’s soy products. Who knew? (WorldNetDaily)
  • THE HAPPIEST/ RACIST-IST VIDEO WE’VE SEEN ALL DAY: 2006: The Year In Bigotry. (Gawker)
  • UM, NO DUH: Turns out Jessica Simpson is probably as dumb as we always thought she was. That’s a relief. (IDLYITW)
  • BOOBYLICIOUS?: Did Beyonce get breast implants or is it the best dress ever? You decide. (Celebrity Warship)
  • SCARIER THAN DODGEBALL: A fitness instructor wants to teach obese children how to pole dance. Because that’s what the world needs- more fat strippers. (BBC News)

Pauly Pulled The Wease Over Our Eyes Again!

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paulypunch.jpgEarlier today we told you about the the hilarious clip of Pauly Shore getting knocked the f*ck out in the middle of some bad crowd work at a recent stand-up gig. Well, according to the celebrity/”existence of racism” sleuths over at TMZ, the whole video (which is already a viral video sensation, having been viewed by millions of people in a matter of hours) might in fact have been a hoax:

“The Odessa, Texas Police Department claims that an officer “had met with Mr. Shore prior to his set, and was asked to participate in the skit. The officer stated that the skit went as designed and that Shore was not injured in the designed skit.”

As much as we’d like to believe The Wease had his Bio-Dome cold-cocked, these allegations raise an important question: Was this all just a shameless grab for publicity by a desperate has-been comic, or a brilliantly self-reflexive meditation on the transient, inauthentic nature of the modern media’s obsession with humiliated celebrities? We’re leaning towards the latter, as such profound lessons could only be taught by the man who brought us MTV’s Totally Pauly.

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: The “Not A Baby Daddy” Dance

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In the world of Daytime TV Paternity Testing, there is a beloved tradition known as the “Not A Baby-Daddy” Dance, in which a young man – having just discovered that he is in fact NOT the father of the child he thought he had with the girlfriend/wife/whatever who previously informed him that she has cheated on him many times over – launches into a complicated celebratory dance routine that includes a) jumping out of his chair triumphantly, b) rolling across the stage with joy, c) pointing at and taunting his onetime loved one, then d) chanting victoriously as the woman walks off stage. When executed properly, it is a marvelous thing of beauty, and this clip, taken from today’s Maury, is one of the finest examples this blogger has ever laid eyes upon:

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Are Brad & Benicio Brothers?

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Our pal over at Cityrag brings us this latest edition of everyone’s favorite “famous people who resemble other people” feature. This time we’ve got Hollywood hunk rugged cool-guys Brad Pitt and Benecio Del Toro, totally looking similar in these pictures. Could they in fact be the same person, or dare we say, DATING? And if so, can we start calling them Branecio? Thoughts?

The 10 Fictional Women Who Make It Difficult To Date Real Women

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Girl-Next-Door-movie-f01.jpgThe folks at Girlfriend ’07 have compiled a list of the 10 characters from various movies and television shows who make it difficult to date regular girls.

Hollywood has a tendency to create female characters who make it nearly impossible to ever be truly satisfied with real women. Because not only do these women tend to be beyond beautiful on the outside, but they’re always unbelievable on the inside too. They’re cool. They’re fun. They always know what to say. And they always have that one little thing that makes you fall in love with them. Maybe it’s because they usually have guys writing their lines and making them perfect, but either way they’re a tough act to follow.

Click here to check out the list. While we’re happy to see Elizabeth Shue and the girl from Just One of the Guys on the list, we’re kind of offended by some of the omissions. Like, where’s Karen from The Office? Or Pam? Who do you think is missing? Leave your additions in the Comments.

Link via Gorillamask

Matt Damon Does Matt McConaughey

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Not like that.

Matt Damon is one of the coolest guys in Hollywood. Last night on Letterman, Matt broke out an impression of Matthew McConaughey. It’s pretty great, even though we’re a bit bummed he didn’t deliver McConaughey’s famous “JKL– just keep livin’!” line. Maybe next time.

Link via Celebitchy

ICYMI: Barack Obama Does the Superbowl Shuffle

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When much-hyped Illinois Senator/Democrat/Presidenital Hopeful Barack Obama appeared in a taped segment before the Chicago Bears‘ Monday Night Football Game against the St. Louis Rams looking all presidential, saying he had a big important announcement to make, people were probably expecting him to announce his candidacy to save the Dems from the threat of a Hillary run. What they were not expecting is this:

ICYMI: Poor, Poor, Poor Prince

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You have to tinilly-hand it to Prince: The guy is an effing God. It’s not even a debatable subject, it is written in stone fact. Which is why we are excited about his upcoming Superbowl XLI Halftime Performance. Then again, promo videos like this, so totally corporate and devoid of the one thing Prince has in spades — soul — leave us feeling cold, clammy and dead. Though his unexpected reaction to the bickering in the ad did have us laughing… FINE. We’re “jazzed”.

LISTEN UP: Stop The Clocks

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  • The BM Rant has the best Best list I’ve seen so far. So head over there for tracks by Art Brut, The Hold Steady, Midlake, The Strokes and more.
  • Speaking of Best Of lists, Refinery29 posted their Top 20 albums of the year, complete with accompanying mp3’s. Clipse, Hot Chip and TV on the Radio are there. Why aren’t you?
  • If you’ve ever wanted to hear the unreleased track that Oasis named their greatest hits album after, here’s your chance. I Am Fuel, You Are Friends is here to help.
  • Today Licorice Pizza posted four old unreleased Hole tracks that may or may not have been written by Kurt Cobain. Either way, they still rock.
  • And finally, Zombies Ate My Blog have a good reason to start getting excited about 2007: The Ponys. I can’t wait.