It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, June 15th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Gameshow Marathon, So You Think You Can Dance?, and Dateline NBC: Britney Spears!
Look if you’re looking for an actor to bring subtle sensitivity to lines about true love in the face of death, you don’t call Keanu Reeves. Well some people do (ie Sweet November). But you shouldn’t because Reeves just isn’t good at acting human. But that doesn’t mean he sucks. In fact, thejay.com dropped off a virtual masters thesis on why Keanu Reeves doesn’t suck. 1) He’s acted in every genre of movie 2) he knows kung fu 3) he’s not as wooden as Paul Walker. But that’s just the beginning. Jay’s got 37 more reasons why Keanu doesn’t suck and if you’re not big on reading blog lists, then go rent Point Break. The number #1 reason why Keanu Reeves doesn’t suck speaks for itself.
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TMZ has an interesting story about frat-hero comedian Dane Cook, who solicited his rabidly loyal fanbase (the people arguably responsibly for his meteoric rise to success) to show up and be a part of the finale of his HBO road documentary Tourgasm. The eager fans, thinking they were going to be treated to one of Dane’s classic jumping-around-on-stage-grabbing-his-crotch stand up performances, showed up en masse hours in advance, only to be disappointingly herded around like sheep for background use in a brief segment in which Cook and posse triumphantly arrive by helicopter to do a lame “fake awards acceptance” bit. Dane’s superfans were given a poster of their hero as a token of gratitude, then sent home without more than a glimpse of the man they showed up to see. Dane, who never fails to go out of his way to gratefully gush about his adoring, album-and-ticket-buying fans, blamed the whole thing on HBO before throwing one of his patented “Su-Fi” hand signals, which sent his saddened followers into a convulsions of laughter so strong they completely forgot about the way he used them just to get his Tourgasm.
It’s the age-old question, who owns the cast of the Real World: MTV or the people? That’s the issue most of us are grappling with now. On the one hand, MTV plucked the cast of the new Denver season from obscurity and are paying for their sweet
pad hot tub with surrounding shelter.
On the other hand, as locals in the city of Denver have noted, they’re high-profile people in a small town and that means they’re fair game for just about anything. Getrealdenver.com a blog set up by the Denver Post, hosts candid pictures of the cast taken by staff and locals. They even briefly set up a webcam in the Real World house before it was discovered and destroyed. Bummer. What’s worse their website has been down all day. So it looks like the cast of the Real World is back in the hands of MTV. But really, don’t those 7 strangers belong to all of us?
We’re only one week into the World Cup and I’m already exhausted. It’s not easy to pretend to care about soccer day in and day out. As an American I know that none of us actually care about soccer, but for some reason during the World Cup we all have to pretend. It’s our duty. That’s why I made this list: Here are 7 tips to help you fool the people around you into thinking you actually care about World Cup soccer. I hope it helps.
1. Pick a favorite team. You can either go with your country of origin, your parents’ country of origin, or one of those countries in South America if you want to look like you know what you’re doing and be a dick about it.
2. Be disappointed in the U.S. I mean, I was expecting BIG THINGS from this team, and then they went and blew it against the Czech Republic. Can you even name one player on the Czech Republic? Me neither. Of course, I can’t name one player on team USA either, but that’s not important. We choked and I’m so disappointed.
3. Buy a soccer jersey. Casual friday is coming up. What better way to let the people in your office know that you’re a big time World Cup junkie than wearing khakis and a Ronaldo jersey to work?
4. Constantly check your cell phone in public for scoring updates. Make sure you do this roughly every two minutes, because you never know when that ONE goal in the game is going to be scored.
5. Call it ‘football.’ Though if you’re American and you do this within ten feet of me, I’ll probably punch you in the throat.
6. Watch games that involve countries you couldn’t find on a map. Oh man, I am so psyched for June 21! Cote d’Ivoire is taking on Serbia-Montenegro. It’s going to be such a great game! I hope I don’t forget to set my Tivo!
7. Make casual conversation with busboys and/or anybody who’s ‘Spanishy looking’ that you pass on the street. Because if World Cup soccer does one thing, it’s bind us all together through our mutual undying world-wide love of soccer. Except when we riot and kill each other over bad calls.
As I’m sure you’re all really excited about getting together with friends and loved ones tonight for your big ‘Britney Spears Interview Exclusive with Matt Lauer’ viewing party (don’t forget the Cheetoh’s!), we’ve decided to provide with you with this morning’s Today Show preview of the pop singer’s tearful insights on what it’s like to be “happily” married to K-Fed, incessantly harassed by the paparazzi and unfairly judged by all of humanity. We’ll have BWE coverage of the full interview tomorrow morning!
Everyone’s got a problem with their iPod, either it runs out of batteries or the volume’s screwed up or in my case purple nerds are embedded in the charger socket. It seems that although a great invention, they just haven’t perfected the portable music player yet.
The some one devised a plan that was so crazy it had to work. What if you could listen to your iPod on speakers and go number two simultaneously? It may not fix all your iProblems, but what a way to iPoop. Introducing the iCarta, the first ever fusion toilet paper-iPod stereo that can easily be affixed on any bathroom wall. For just $99, you can turn up the tune and reach for toilet paper with the same hand. Ladies and gentleman welcome to the future.