ICYMI: Ellen & Her Skitty Parodies

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For those of you who work real jobs and aren’t lucky enough to sit in a room with a television a few feet away, here’s a little taste of what you’re missing during the day. Hilarious, hilarious daytime talk show skits like this one, courtesy of Ellen Degeneres.

Makes you appreciate your annoying co-workers a little more, doesn’t it?

OMG: The New York Times Spoils The Office Romance!

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JimPamOffice.JPGIt goes without saying — we’re not going to spoil anything related to the new season of The Office here — but if you don’t even want to be tempted with Satan’s deliciously intoxicating aroma, then just stop reading.

OK OK OK. Everybody just relax! OK, listen. Are you relaxed? OK. In today’s issue of The New York Times, writer Bill Carter profiles Ben Silverman, an agent-cum-television-producer responsible for bringing The Office from the UK over to American soil. (And, for that alone, he can expect a crateful of chocolate coins from us come this Hanukkah.) But, buried in the middle of the article, Carter goes ahead and ruins the mystery behind the best television romance of the decade! Of course, I refer to Jim and Pam, the lovelorn twosome whose kiss at the end of last season spawned an entirely new generation of secret cutters.

Anyway, we won’t ruin the surprise here. (Click on this link to read the article.) But we when we read the spoiler here at work, we jumped out of our seats and ran down the hallway screaming for our lives. We then slunked back to our desks, remembering that it was a fictional show, and that even in their fictional universe, we didn’t matter/exist. God, we can’t wait until 8:30 pm on Thursday.

GAMES: The Hoff Goes All ‘Spy Hunter’

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knight rider1.jpgWhat happens when you combine Knight Rider nostalgia, Spy Hunter nostalgia, and the greatest 80′s theme song riff this side of Beverly Hills Cop? You get this Knight Rider game, guaranteed to distract you from doing your work for at least 7-10 minutes. Maybe longer if you have a thing for The Hoff (or the old dude from Boy Meets World who voiced KITT. Either way.)

Link via Collegehumor

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Fergie Alley!?!

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These pictures make me wonder whether ex-meth addict turned white Black-Eyed Pea Fergie is actually just Kirstie Alley wearing make-up and a smile. Have we all been Punk’d?

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ICYMI: “White and Nerdy”, But Cool

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Weird Al Yankovic seems to be in the midst of a late-career renaissance that could be considered the novelty-song equivalent of Bob Dylan’s own return to relevancy. Al has emerged from recent obscurity to bring his likable-but-goofy sense of humor to the Internet Age. Here’s his latest music video, at which I found it difficult not to chuckle:

David Beckham Seizes the Day!

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David Beckham is having quite the week. It was reported today that following his dismissal from England’s soccer team last month, Beckham rang up Tom Cruise for some support in the arena of failure. (Which sounds like some sort of homoerotic fan fiction, but there it is.) But things aren’t all bad for the soccer star. No, in fact, following an interview at Radio 1 in London, Beckham stopped outside to sign some autographs, and dropped a hint that he’s planning to star in a remake of one of the most beloved children’s movies of all time… Beckham an actor!

Find out what what movie it is after the jump!

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A Citizen On Patrol

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guttenberg.jpgComedian Dave Rubin was lucky enough to run into actor/legend Steve Guttenberg over the weekend at a train station in Connecticut. It was there that The Gute confirmed that yes, Police Academy 2007 is in the works, and said the words we’ve been waiting to hear for over 20 years:

“All your questions will be answered.”

That’s right people– ALL of your Police Academy-related questions will be answered in Police Academy 2007! Like why is Hightower so tall? Answered! How come Hooks is so soft spoken most of the time when she’s such a great screamer? Answered! How does that one funny black guy make all those neat sounds? Answered! And most importantly, what the hell do the ladies see in Steve Guttenberg? Answered at last.

Police Academy 2007. It couldn’t come soon enough.

Today’s NAMBLA Round-Up: Paris Pulls a Letourneau

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Paris Hilton has been supes busy shooting her new music video and getting fake-arrested these days. But screencaps from the video from her new single, “Nothing in this World”, are, well, spine-chillingly creepy. The video, which borrows its plot from the painfully underrated movie The Girl Next Door, shows Paris gallavanting around a classroom in hooker shoes and tweed corsets, teaching young girls how to teabag and young boys how to conspicuously hide their erections. But check it out: The boy Paris seduces in the video doesn’t look a day over 12! Maybe she’s really basing it on The Mary Kay Letourneau Story? Either way, nothing like a mildly-aroused pre-pube to spoil your lunch plans, eh?

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On second glance, is that little boy actually Borat‘s grandson, Boltok?

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We think it is! See the rest of the pictures here. And click here to hear the single.

Elderly Conspiracy Alert: Two Bobs, One Man

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There’s nothing we like better than a little celebrity separated at birth. So when we noticed the beyond striking resemblance between two of our favorite elderly Bobs, we couldn’t help but share it with you, America. Do not donate this resemblance to your local shelter come Thankgiving; it’s uncanny. Which leads us to wonder… is Bob Barker actually Bob Uecker? You never see the two men together in the same place (urologist) at the same time (8 am, 9:30 am, respectively). And they both have the action figure white hairdo and startling permagrin of a man who has seen too much. But man old man, what we’d give to be one of “Uecker‘s Beauties.”

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p.s. Pour a lil’ out for Mr. Belvedere, ya’ll.
p.p.s. If either one of these guys (God forbid) drops in the next 2 weeks, I’m calling out psychic.

ICYMI: Crazy Art Imitates Crazy Life

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famous.jpgIt’s ironic that most people know Britist artist Banksy from tabloid stories about Paris Hilton Pranks, what Brangelina did last Thursday night, and why there are hooded Gitmo detainees in Disneyland, considering that these are the kinds of news sources his art so brilliantly criticizes. Check out these photos of his latest show “Barely Legal” (our favorites after the jump), which includes a pink-painted live elephant standing in a proverbial living room. Take a look and tell us what you think in the comments.

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