ICYMI: Barack Obama Does the Superbowl Shuffle

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When much-hyped Illinois Senator/Democrat/Presidenital Hopeful Barack Obama appeared in a taped segment before the Chicago Bears‘ Monday Night Football Game against the St. Louis Rams looking all presidential, saying he had a big important announcement to make, people were probably expecting him to announce his candidacy to save the Dems from the threat of a Hillary run. What they were not expecting is this:

ICYMI: Poor, Poor, Poor Prince

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You have to tinilly-hand it to Prince: The guy is an effing God. It’s not even a debatable subject, it is written in stone fact. Which is why we are excited about his upcoming Superbowl XLI Halftime Performance. Then again, promo videos like this, so totally corporate and devoid of the one thing Prince has in spades — soul — leave us feeling cold, clammy and dead. Though his unexpected reaction to the bickering in the ad did have us laughing… FINE. We’re “jazzed”.

LISTEN UP: Stop The Clocks

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  • The BM Rant has the best Best list I’ve seen so far. So head over there for tracks by Art Brut, The Hold Steady, Midlake, The Strokes and more.
  • Speaking of Best Of lists, Refinery29 posted their Top 20 albums of the year, complete with accompanying mp3’s. Clipse, Hot Chip and TV on the Radio are there. Why aren’t you?
  • If you’ve ever wanted to hear the unreleased track that Oasis named their greatest hits album after, here’s your chance. I Am Fuel, You Are Friends is here to help.
  • Today Licorice Pizza posted four old unreleased Hole tracks that may or may not have been written by Kurt Cobain. Either way, they still rock.
  • And finally, Zombies Ate My Blog have a good reason to start getting excited about 2007: The Ponys. I can’t wait.

TMZ Blows “Some People In LA Are Racists” Story Wide Open With EXCLUSIVE Clip of Random Jerkoff

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TMZracism.JPGYou’re going to need to sit down for this one, because everything you thought you knew about all of humanity is about to be shaken to its core. The omnipresent cameramen over at TMZ have just posted SHOCKING footage – after a 15 second advertisement, of course – of an unknown Eastern European road-rager dropping the N-Bomb on a Production Assistant from the television show EXTRA. Take a moment to gather your composure, because you can forget about Kramer’s shocking racist tirade from last month – it would seem that even normal, non-famous people are now capable of being as bigoted as celebrities! What kind of world do we live in when two people can’t get into a frustrating car accident in the middle of 405 gridlock traffic without hurling hateful racial epithets at one another? What’s next, black people being unfairly harassed by the LAPD? Mexicans being forced to work for lower wages than the rest of us? Gay people not having the same rights as straight people? To find out the latest breaking human interest news, tune into TMZ – where there’s no such thing a slow news day!

POLL: How Do You Like Your Scarlett?

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Two sets of Scarlett Johansson photos have popped up this week. One set of pictures are from her new Louis Vuitton campaign, where ScarJo does her best impression of a 1930’s pin-up model. And believe me, it’s one hell of an impression.

The second set, over at Gorillamask, feature Scarlett all done up as a Pussycat Doll. Fishnets. Garters. Leather boots. Red lipstick. Yeah. What more do you need to know?

Which kind of Scarlett you prefer says a lot about you as a person. Do you like the Classy Scarlett or the Skanky Scarlett? Tough call. It’s like the old Britney vs. X-Tina debate, only 1,000 times better. Because it’s Scarlett vs. Scarlett. Everybody wins.

Which Scarlett do you like more? Vote by clicking below.

Photoshopped Shiloh Creeps Me Out!

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Now, you know nobody loves babies more than a certain Ms. Michelle Collins. Even when they grab my finger a little. too. tight… my maternal instinct drop-kicks me in the oves and Similac runs down my cheeks. I love kids!

However. There are exceptions to that rule. Namely, when babies look like they were dipped in digital refinishing acid. As is the case with Shiloh Pitt, touted as the world’s most beautiful baby. Let’s take a look at what Shiloh looks like now, from a picture out of Hello! Magazine.

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CHILL INDUCING. Perhaps it’s the 17-hours of photoshopping spent Anne-Geddes-fying her, or maybe it’s that strangely demonic distant, look in her gaze, or the fact that this is the future best looking person in the world… whatever it is, SHILOH TERRIFIES US! We haven’t been this haunted by a blank-month-old since the Flickr baby. TEAM SURI 4VR.

GAMES: Naked Bearded Guys On Trampolines

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nudetramp.JPGThanks to reader ozinwi for dropping this funny promotional game from the makers of the film Confetti, which I’ve never heard of, but that doesn’t really matter, because bouncing a portly naked bearded man up and down on a trampoline while doing tricks is pretty much the most fun thing ever. Clear out the rest of your schedule and surrender yourself to the joys of Nudist Trampolining!

Don’t Tax His Gig So Hardcore Kruster: Pauly Shore Gets Knocked The F**k Out!

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Pauly Shore.jpgFor some of us, it happened the first time we saw him on MTV. For others, it happened shortly after shelling out $8 to see Biodome in theaters. And for a select few, it happened while watching him peform at The Comedy Store on the Sunset strip.

Do you remember where you were the first time you realized you wanted to punch Pauly Shore in the face?

It doesn’t matter where you were; the point is we’ve all wanted to do it. Well, this week a man in Odessa, Texas took matters into his own hands and actually did. Hard.

While we’d never endorse violence against stand-up comedians while they’re performing on stage, we still feel an obligation to tell you to watch this clip. Because it’s awesome. And for anybody who wasted 88 minutes of their life watching Jury Duty, this was a long time coming.

(Link via the one and only Defamer)

While You Were Working Under the Influence

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  • While you sip your morning coffee, take the time to meet the Ashlee Simpson of the Italian opera world, Roberto Alagna. (Yeah, we’re gettin’ highbrow.)
  • Speaking of the Simpsons, looks like Jessica needs to clear out her mental recycle bin, as the girl’s memory is full to capacity: She can’t remember her lines anymore.
  • Glad to see Nathan Lane is getting work again!
  • Gentlemen, now’s your chance to legally plow into the world’s most recognized vagine: Jenna Jameson is officially divorced! Don’t forget to wear your lead condoms.
  • But laaaaadies! Don’t you fret, because the Gods have delivered sexyness to you in a little compact moustached and likely glittered package: Prince is playing Superbowl Halftime!